Day 774 – Establishing a consistent daily routine

There is some routines and some patterns that I would like to add to my day to day living. I have been practicing living this for a while, but I need to establish it further and more sound, so I write about it.

 

In the mornings when I wake up: first thing I do, maybe before going out of bed, is to drink water. It is very healthy for the body to start with water – first thing in the morning. Then standing up and after  getting dressed, I embrace myself (!) and tell myself that; I embrace myself within this day in totality with all its content, and then I find one or two words to live, during my day.

I go about my day with all that there is and use the application of self forgiveness and self correction, breathe awareness, and so on… to assist me through the day. Writing out my thoughts and issues as the day goes, and practicing self forgiveness as the key to change. Writing and living the change is key to understand self, grow and expand.

In the evening after massaging my feet, I lay down and I make up status for my day. What happened this day ? How did it affect me ? Did I face challenges ? What are my thoughts during the day ?

Answering this as I lay down and talk to myself, finding the outcome and solutions to my issues, this completes my day.

 

 

This eqafe recording concerns lots of what I mention here in my writing:

https://eqafe.com/p/when-memories-run-deep

 

For more info on life challenges, solutions and issues:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

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Day 773 – Anger – why me

A few days ago I was facing some anger points at my doctors office. I was going to the doctor, for a appointment, to have my shot, and to talk about my medications. A regular thing.  I had made the mistake of creating expectations of how and what it was going to be like at the doctors.

 

At the doctor’s office the play outs where not what was established as expectations within me. First thing for me to react on was the radio in the waiting room. I was annoyed beyond, that it was on and it was broadcasting, playing, and I very much felt bothered by the radio there, that I would judge as not needed for at all. Like surface talk and cozy-talk and you know those talks on the radio that does not mean fuck all they just talk to try to give you a false sense of worth and moment. Man was that not right for me then. I was called in to my doctor, and I would shake his hand as customary.

 

Later I was also angry because I was not getting my point and my opinion through to my doctor or at least I felt like that, I felt misunderstood, beaten and battered. My expectations where crushed. Why do I keep making them ? On top of this my credit card did not work lol.. so I had to go to a ATM machine to withdraw and come back to pay after my appointment. It was a very upsetting experience all together. It was like little explosions and grim faces in my head, anger faces pictures and experiences in my head/mind.

 

Later when I was leaving the doctor’s office, and also looking back,  I would see more clearly how I was going into anger. I could like take a step back within, and look into myself being in anger, both in the moment and later, and I would ask myself why and am I so mad, this is not real, why, why…? Like the experience I had of being in anger was not real. Out of the body experience and witnessing myself inn reactions from without as it was playing out. Seeing how I hurt myself with anger, like a movie, a very strange experience, feeling helpless then in the moment but soon starting to forgive the experience as I left the office and headed home.  So my mind played me for a fool and I was upset up by my suppressed fear. It was not pleasant – and it was not real.

So my whole going to the doctor experience was very unpleasant and rather sad all summoned  together. I know that anger has its origin in fear, and I would have this particular fear of being left out of the cool crowd since I take my medications. Anger has its root in fear and it is really fear being energized and pushed and channeled. If you truly want to understand anger the links below are priceless.

Luckily I know that there is lots of support on eqafe.com for anger. There is a in particular a specific self forgiveness file with words to read to self or to be read for. I recommend that one. If you purchase this product there is two items for you to download, a written paper to read and a sound file to listen to. If you get this product I can recommend to read the self forgiveness sentences loud to self – to play with sounding the words. And also to just relax – lay down on a sofa and be with your body while listening to the self forgiveness spoken.

 

Also … just go to the search bar in eqafe.com and write in whatever thing that weigh  in on your heart.  It is worth to check out and it have assisted me greatly though the years.

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this is also one of the many products about anger on eqafe.com:

https://eqafe.com/p/why-does-anger-exist-atlanteans-support-part-72

 

Enjoy  eqafe.com and enjoy breathe

 

Check out the links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

Day 772 – Falling in love with MMT – Modern Monetary Theory

Falling in love with MMT – Modern Monetary Theory

There is many series and videos on you-tube (YT) about MMT. The first 3 videos in this series I find totally breath taking.  Now, I have been listening to many different conspiracy theories and tales that float out there in the global thought/conscious  arena, of what is money and structure so, and I realize that much of it is based on paranoia, fear and emotions.  As long something it is mentioned it exists. This means that we are truly creators of all that is.  The good the bad and the ugly. We can change and I am convinced that understanding MMT can help us take some real turns on the wheel… it is simply to see and realize “what – is – what” of structure and design of money.

 

Please give time to study MMT. Modern Monetary Theory.

It is a real kicker once you get it.

 

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So what made me fall in love with MMT ?

It is to see and realize that the (US) money system, is actually very, very supportive structured and designed – it is however misused by bankers and politicians. The USA money system is designed and created to give people money. To grant people their money. That is its purpose. To have money circulating freely among its citizens.  And that is why for example that  when there is 15 trillion in pension funds, there is equally 15 trillion in US debt. This debt does not mean anything in particular negative to either state, people, or government. It just is. For the us population to have pensions/money. I would recommend to  listen to the videos from YT  to understand one of the very core things about this system that is that debt in its form is not dangerous or bad. No there should be debt with the government so that the people have money. This math is soooo simple it is hard to see. In order for the people to have money the government need to be in debt. It is only corrupted politicians idea that think that debt is bad and wrong and stupid… a part of their programming and brainwashing.  I have been thinking the same myself about debt. Thinking it is wrong/bad/negative for a  state/government to be in debt. Failing to see that from this government debt, the people of this nation, are secured money. This is a fuckings critical point to get. Because even if the digits says minus, and “negative” that is a very core value to the people – to give them money…from the government who then is in debt. It seem like most people and politicians don’t get this. All they see is the minus and then they turn red/paranoid. But the minus of whatever dollars (USA) is securing that there is money among the people. Darnest thing !

 

Can you see the math… boy was it easy… huh ?

The debt is just there… to make sure the people have money. It does not do anything particular (more than so) at all. The spending and sharing, among people, of these trillions is the big question. This is today left to politicians (and bankers) to handle, and to be honest they suck at it. Because the politicians are programmed and brainwashed. Plain and simple. And that goes for all of us… including myself, we have all be had by our own minds, thoughts, ego, imagination, parents, culture, believes, and so on. We are all equally responsible for this. “This” meaning all what takes place on this earth… all of it.

Enjoy learning about MMT – let’s change the game !

Here is a news article about MMT : Link

 

We are born equals:  I am one vote for a equal money system !

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Check out the links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

Day 771 – the cereberus of schizophrenia – mind storage

 

Being schizophrenic I bear 3 or 4 minds. That is right. 3 or 4 minds (!) that always wants its own demand and piece of the cake; the physical &  the being. 3 minds that together have a core and design (that I currently see as self judgment/rebars/metal – from my programing of being) locked in their position and placement within my mind/total self experience (see drawing)   3 personalities, and one mind (4rth) who controls or governs the other 3. From my programming/schizophrenia I have learned that all these (4 minds) wants to be in control of the totality of me/minds/physical/being. And they fight for it. They have a war inside my head over being the supreme mind… a psychosis/possession. Like a Cerberus that we know from In Greek mythology (see picture)

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this is how schizophrenia is experienced to millions of people

 

Mind as they are, are  energy systems. They are energy and they depend on more energy. If I can delete my addiction to energies, I can free myself from my Cerberus/Schizophrenia/mind and the minds control. This is easier said than done. But;  It can be done if I work on the very finest of therapeutic and curative care: self forgiveness. Together with being aware of my physical, living words, there is a fuck-load of applications that have been developed and cultivated by desteni during the years. The finest of psychology, behaviorism, self awareness and self healing tools/applications.

 

You see I have schizophrenia and… schizophrenia is a particular design. Like a recipe. It have been placed onto me before I was born. Why ? Long story , but if you ask me private, I can share with you why I am schizophrenic.

Studying the core elements and foundations of being human, sound, life, energy, mind, consciousness, light, dark, colors, darkness, polarity, emotions, time, space, the physical, the being, earth, relations, empowerment, self forgiveness, responsibility, money, words, animals, the universe, quantum and so on… this is some of what I have been studying the last 5 years.

You see I ask question with my living, question everything, I realize that for the world to change : I need to change. There is no other way. I want there to be responsibility, forgiveness, purpose, empowerment, real care, prosperity, life support, equality, oneness, honesty, solutions, peace and freedom and so on… for all life on this earth and I will not stop what I am doing before I see this is taking place. It boils down to equality and oneness – what is best for all.

 

So what I question myself is how to make my schizophrenia livable and to something less of pain and burden to myself. Well there is a lot of therapeutic tools  and  things I can enjoy and savor to do. Like drawing. Expressing, vlogging, blogging, studying and reading. I very much like reading a good book  – so I do that. I read a good book or a good blog. Or I write a post to myself like this. It might sound simple, but to many it takes some to actually do it, and in boredom and mental despair they end up drinking and doing porn… etc, etc, etc.

It is about becoming physical, and to nurture from there the being and by that math to stand, eternal, equal and one to all and everything, without bias and without judgment  – because you/I have embraced it and forgiven it; as self and made it part of self. Just like neo in matrix – he becomes it all… he takes 100% responsibility and does not separate self from anything (!) else. Not the lady in read, not money, not imaginations,  quite simply no separation it is all one and self… do you see where I am at ? Because thinking and thoughts is per definition a separation. It is a sabotage of self. So bring everything back to self and forgive. You would be amazed of the power you have and the qualities you possess. Physical is always stronger than mind. It is you and me as physical awareness, self direction and self honesty that can ultimately become the drivers and creators of our own living.

 

Again to stand equal and one hand in hand with all human beings. Maybe that is not your cup of tea ?  So we all have quite some layers of programming to deal with. We all have things in our lives that possess us, again self forgiveness is key – to become physical.

So for me to walk with schizophrenia is quite challenging. Luckily I live in Norway where I have care and support from a welfare state – that nobody have ever seen before – it is that good.  It makes sure I can walk a healing process, and have a life in decency – no luxury but a decent living. So I can make and share such a picture of my schizophrenia – to make it less terrifying to me who lives with it.

 

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drawing of my minds

 

If you are wondering and have questions please drop me a line

 

Check out the links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

Day 770 – Cold water experience

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When I go to sauna which I love/live to do… I usually enjoy a cold shower in the breaking out of the heat from the sauna. To me public  baths are sacred lol … there is a very ordinary and very usable sauna and shower, with swimming hall to it, 30 minutes drive from here where I live. I use to go there on thursdays evenings, for swim – which is just me playing and fooling around in water 100 % embracing it and enjoying myself in the water.

Later I go out of the swimming hall, and I enter the showers, and the sauna. Now the sauna might be very warm, the way most like it. So I have grown into the habit of showering a very cold shower once or twice during my sauna – or breaking up my body heat experience with cold water.

 

To step under that cold water, from having spent some minutes totally hot in the sauna, is peculiar. I guess I can compare it to birthing myself – again. My breathe become fast and rapid, like intense,  almost like a obsession or possessing of mind and body. And that is mostly it, to mind myself to breathe, while under the cold water. I simply breathe and again – embrace the water and the experience.

 

I have learned that it is healthy, particular to the skin to have cold and hot changes, like with showers. It trains the skin at closing and opening the poors. It assists the skin at its service to the body. And the skin is a very important part of our body. Closing and opening of poors is a important thing to really train – with cold and hot water. It is a test to self and how much you know yourself, in the physical.

 

I can also have similar experience if I take a dip in the ocean, dipping in the cold water (if it is cold) and coming up again, and feeling reborn. Like totally fresh and “new”. I mind myself to embrace the experience and to sense it all as I breathe and ground myself. Awareness of self honesty is also important, that makes me more sane and aware of where my focus is.

Cold and warm showers changes is also recommended, after having cleared of all soap, to turn it really cold, and then after some seconds (30 + seconds…) turn it warm again – exercise for the skin. To open and close.

I truly recommend to experiment and investigate hot / cold water on skin, remember to breathe, don’t burn yourself and you will be fine !

 

 

Here is a cool video about cold and the body:

 

Enjoy embracing the water !

 

Check out the links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

Day 769 – Camphill living

Perspective on living in a ecological farm

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cows out to grass

Camphill villages is ecologically driven villages and farms and communities that is suited and designed to people with disabilities and needs, who don’t usually fit into the larger hectic/capitalistic society/system. Personally I am diagnosed with schizophrenia.

My camphill life is structured so I can work my way through my schizophrenia with walking with the tools of desteni.org

I just realized that from me living on a ecological, camphill farm and village it gives me the opportunity to have structure. HUH ! We all need some sort of structure and organizing to function optionally. To me structure is like a pattern of organizing – it gives me a sense of control in my living. And after that freedom within the application/task !

I live in a camphil village in the south west of Norway. I have lived here since 01.07.2016. Let me tell you that life here is truly swell. Now there are so many different ways to be living life here on this earth and I would say I am truly grateful for living where I am and under these conditions that is present.

It gives me routines and structure. I provides me with cultural and spiritual/emotional insight. It serves me the best and healthiest of food. It grounds me with good work for the body. It gives me inspiring and touching and dear talks and interactions. It provides me with very dear friendship and colleges and hugs, and it is a international touch to it with people here from all corners of the world.

Life here is season based. And there are things like Bible study groups and practice of Christian tradition. This is of course voluntary if ones chooses to participate or not. I find the Bible study group very interesting – I get to share my insights and perspective from this important historical script.

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me after a days work

Now in the spring I can walk outside and pick my food of herbs from the garden. I can go swim in the fjord or in a freshwater stream, and enjoy a talk, a flower, a goat  … on my way to do so.

There are currently goats, sheep, cows, chicken, birds, bees, and cats here. They provide me with honesty, insight , groundednes, stability,  and realness, awareness and strength – besides the meat, milk, honey and eggs that is also on my plate.

We are very sufficient with dairy products, meat, some herbs, some fruits, berries and also a lot of vegetables.  This awareness is awesome and it brings up gratefulness and humbleness within me.

Camphill living with interacting with animals is very therapeutic. A goat will “tell” you straight. The animals, are honest and real, they are not mind based like us humans.   They don’t have our obsessive thinking, so they are more stabile and here, firm, grounded, sound as physical and natural. Something I know that we humans must learn sooner or later…

Being able to go out and pet a cow or a sheep or talk to the chickens is just medicine ! Very rejuvenating and real! I am very grateful for that presence in my living. It makes me more honest, and alive, like colourful and expressive.

 

One can even go as far as to say that this planet should be for animals and nature only, and not for humans. If we look at how humans treat nature, other humans, animals and so on… it makes sense. Which means that we (humans) must change… or we are doomed. There is no other way.

 

I am grateful for my living in this camphill. Some of the traditions is maybe not of my liking, but there is room to discuss and debate most things. The antroposofic way is known to be a alternative way of living in Norway. Most of it is very cool and down to earth. Either way we can debate practice and reach common ground. The environment  and the ecological policy is very appealing to me and I would imagine to all people. The camphill way is by all means a way for the future.  I don’t agree to some of the Christian/religious traditions, but we can work through it and come to agreements.

The way of living is simple, and structured and rich. I recommend to find a camphill near you, and become friends with them, visit them and test it out. There are camphill villages mostly in Western Europe, North America, but also in Russia, South – Africa and India.

Enjoy your investigation of camphill !

http://camphill.net/

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Day 768 – attracting to trouble

attraction to complications / a autism perspective

walking with schizophrenia

 

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two old friends a party a long time ago

 

So it is clear to me that I have lived a life so far with quite some mental challenges. The word and diagnosis  of “schizophrenia” is not defined right by society/doctors/practice. Today people with this sort of complications are told wrong things. They are not told what schizophrenia really is. It is easy to see this error, and also that it is coming from the establishment/western medicine that is in practical terms,  completely in reverse. I have done many posts, videos and blogs on this (schizophrenia). So If you would like to hear my take on it – please contact me or investigate.

I have lived a life with this (schizophrenia) type of autism all my life. I have grown into attracting trouble. I have 3 or sometimes 4 minds to deal with; I am informed.  Sometimes I see this monster within, a tree/four headed beast/troll that is the core of my schizophrenia. So I have lived and nurtured with this beast for a long time. Again it is all what I make of it and how I create myself. My burden can be that – a burden or I can strengthen it and make it something of support. Made possible from walking with self forgiveness and desteni.org

So it is quite natural for me to attract to trouble. Being drugs, sex or any type of  systems sabotage or uproar. I have been through it. It is  in my past now most of it, I quit most of my energy addictions very close to exactly 5 years ago. Today I have very little bothers of this nature. I can be more myself, stable, calm and rooted, yet allow myself to be wild, free and honest. You see, through working on self forgiveness consistent for 5 years, everyday bringing shit to surface and dealing with it forgiving it, taking it into me,  deleting it within – brings a new perspective on life.

My dealing with what is in my mind. I don’t leave it up to “God”, or any separate entity to take responsibility for this. No, this is all about me, myself taking 100 % responsibility. Though, I am not guilty of any crime what so ever. It was all and it still is : all programming and design of mind. I am guilty of nothing, so I should not judge myself either. It is all how mind is rigged…. how we live our lives. Are you aware how much mind is in control of your living ? For real ? It is a deep, deep rabbit-hole of self.  All the systems “out there” is a system of self – projected outwards.  The ultimate ride. To forgive self, to embrace, liberate and become one and equal.

 

We at desteni have been saying for years how it is all programs. It is all a huge mind fuck. Time to deal with that picture. So I have been attracting to commotion and bothers, by indentifying with it. Again : it is what I make of it, do I want to live with the burden or do I want to live with the support – I have that level of freedom to make such a decision today. I am at that point of creation. Trouble have been me. It is what I have lived for quite some years. Again I take 100 % responsibility for it and bring it all back to self to embrace and forgive. To delete the metaphysics.  The forgiveness part is important to understand  self and life.

 

If you try it out and talk about self forgiveness to self, in spoken words. You will see this very soon…. the real hero here is you. The physical is key. Are you ready for the challenge ?

Schizophrenia is not real the way it is taught today. It has  different origins and a different recipe than what schools and doctors tell us. I mean what the fuck … if we are to trust the establishment, then we trust the outcome, right ? What is the outcome of the current establishment and mind system ? In this world today there is,  war, child rape, murder, torture, pollution, pain and abuse….This goes to question our trust in systems… like wikipedia ? Or Harvard Doctors ? Your parents (?) or “same old same old patterns” ? The establishment ? They are systems that keep us at status Q … right ? Our very own thoughts and mind, that keep us locked in the “same old same old”  idea and hamster wheel. Can you see this ? It all origins at self, it is all, every tiny piece of it originated in the human mind experience.   I mean bring it back to self for real…  What is in your head ? Who is in your head ? … Who are you ? What is your dreams ? What is your purpose ? Why are you here ? What is your potential ? That is the kind of questions that have always been lost… but no, no, look at the circus and the energetic play of mind. What the fuck. Are you real or are you a zombie of mind ?

Are you letting the zombie mind rule your world ? What do you say about consciousness ? These are things that govern our living to the very core. These are our systems of death. Mind and consciousness. Mistaken for God. It is all in reverse. You see ? Free self from mind slaving with self forgiveness, this is the only way to become real.

 

Please listen to this video:

 

 

enjoy breathe

 

Check out the links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

This WordPress.com site is the cat’s pajamas