Self love is also not only outer living – outer living is a part of it – but the inner – physical being and awareness of self is the starting point of what I do. So it is to look in the mirror and be satisfied – be proud of what have been walked. To look in those eyes and smile, giggle even, because I have come to learn – that I can bring anything – here – and that I can forgive – anything and equalize to it – embrace myself – love myself equally as I can embrace & love anyone else, as me. Because deep down we are all equal and one – its only out expression that will differ. So I am discovering self love, and its humbling. I can embrace me – and thank me – to be grateful for me walking in forgiving self support of me. That is of living self forgiveness and part of my self love. I have walked and stood by my side through all kinds of mad storms – hell and high water, it has been tough – fail me not! But I am still here – standing by myself – by life – in self support – in self love – in self forgiveness. There is no other way. Self forgiveness is the ultimate key to find true self love as physical practical self awareness.
From forgiving my way through mind programs and systems – that have limited me into lesser than – from mind programs – non reality – from forgiving these systems and programs in great detail, I learn to stand up as the physical practical reality of me – to be proud of what I have walked and changed as myself – into a better functional responsible me. This process of forgiving myself into a solid me – to leave the fiction of mind – leads me into self gratitude and ultimatly self love.
-I can look in the mirror and be proud and glad of what I see. I can bring anything here – into me – to equalize to it and find within that – I can live what is best and make way for others to learn from my example.
I can live self love – because I take absolute responsibility – through self forgiveness and that over time I learn to know me, to appreciate me – to love me
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to start my own company where I give into thinking I would do something wrong with the papers or I would somehow fail and loose my money with my company and I would somehow fail to run my company and end up like a clown. Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the paranoia of feeling alone and left out in the cold to do my business, thinking I would have to grow greedy, corrupt and cheat on taxes to manage my company and have a income.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to do something illegal with my company and to end up like a criminal, without or with knowing it, and then face jail or punishment.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself my idea of entrepreneurs as greedy and corrupt that I am programmed with from being very young, throughout my entire life.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that now I do exactly like I would fear from being very young, and that I am somehow going against myself and my own programming.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am not yet experienced enough and I should learn some more about finances or data programming or healthcare, where I give into this fear that I will not be successful and always drag with me this fear and this idea of myself as handicapped and schizophrenic and not able to run a business by myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think on the opposite side of this polarity that I am special and schizophrenic and I should there for be able to run a company and there for be more successful and creative with my company.
self correction
When and as I see myself fearing to run my own company. I stop myself. I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that I am taking measures to be better prepared to run a company of my own, and I realize that I will walk the miles to do what must be done with a company. I realize that I have to be structured and organize to run a company. I realize I may have to imply some new routines.
I commit myself to listen to advise from other that are skilled with running a business, and I commit myself to imply their ideas to my life.
I commit myself to listen more and to do a thoroughly job with my company within the field of psychology/psychiatry.
I want to help with putting a end to suffering from mental disorders (schizophrenia). User experience and exposure are keys to do this. Learning and un-learning psychology are ways to get there. I will make my schizophrenia understood by all people. To end the mystification and blurry/taboo reputation and rumors of mental suffering and schizophrenia. I want my schizophrenia to be understood by anyone.
I want to leave it a bit open, also, and not carve it in stone, the individual definition of oneness diagnosis must be left open to the individual. We are all different human individuals, and our experiences are different.
Schizophrenia :
Schizophrenia is essentially when personalities of your mind / consciousness starts embodying itself into behaviour all at the same time, so you have for example 2 / 3 different personalities trying to ‘live themselves out’ in the body at the same time causing much inner conflict. Whereas with most people in this world, the personality systems of their mind / consciousness are more ‘controlled’ in the sense that one personality at a time will activate that they will then embody and then live out dependent on where they are / with who they are. – Sunette Spies
My mind is designed a bit different than other peoples minds. My mind is constructed with some particular hooks to pull me back into the mind if I try to “wonder”. This design comes from my parents experience of me when I was a fetus.
So… since my mind is wired differently my personalities are more easy triggered and “loose” sort of. With other people the personalities are more stabile in the mind experience and in the physics or how they live and how they act/react and I experience life.
My personalities are more loose and then, the more important it is to be physical aware. Since psychology is failing and creating illness.
My schizophrenia is : How more than one personality is trying to play out at once, and then also my mind is wired a bit different. In very short terms.
What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative – as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let my schizophrenia have it’s way with me and experience conflict within and simply because that is how schizophrenia is; I expect it over and over again failing to realize that I can change and take control of my life myself from learning and unlearning and forgiving my experiences.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let schizophrenia take control of my life for many years, actively making my life difficult within many personalities trying to be me, and providing me with stress, voices, backchats and fear.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take control of my life and my schizophrenia today and to take back control of my life and my being and to not let my schizophrenia control me but to have myself controlling it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that from here on my schizophrenia will be controlled by me and I would think my life will change for the better as I will be able to realize and live my fullest potential to a further degree.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can suit my schizophrenia to suit me and to be my tool sort of, and to help research and learn other people about schizophrenia, and prevent suffering.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that through working on personalities I become an expert on personalities, and I am able to direct, shape and make the best of different situations where I take part inn.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to shape my schizophrenia into a more understandable unit or design, base on my experience of it and my ability to shape and design my schizophrenia to be understood by more people.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crate and shape my schizophrenia by slowing myself down and being aware of myself and setting my mind into working on making my diagnosis into a unit that is understandable, that people can relate to.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to simplify my schizophrenia and thinking I do not take it seriously, it is simply that I want to be understood and prevent other people ending up in suffering.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that this is a real breakthrough on the science of schizophrenia, thinking I am changing this piece by piece in this world/word.
Self commitment:
I commit myself to take on all psychiatry and all polarity and all psychology, and to unlearn it piece by piece and then leave it behind like a empty shell that is no longer needed, when we all have learned psychology and ended the gaming and the addictions and the polarity suffering etc… then we will be more free.
I commit myself to simplify my schizophrenia, so that I control it and it does not control me.
I commit myself to take on all of what psychiatry is and have been to take it apart piece by piece, to expose the abuse and help people to find cures to heal.
I commit myself to teach of my schizophrenia, to anyone willing to listen.
A schizophrenic's journey from consciousness to awareness. In Oneness & Equality! 