Tag Archives: walking

Day 722 – Schizophrenic shepherd

Schizophrenic shepherd

In Norway, most sheep, together with lamb, are sent into the mountain for grassing all summer. Then we have to walk great distances every fall to get them down from mountain to farms and housing/slaughter for winter.


I spent the weekend from 17 / 18 September 2016 with collecting sheep from the mountains.  The trip is a part of what comes with living in this camphill village where I am at.  The trip was two days, with sleep in a cabin,  walking in nature and with lovely weather.  At first I was nervous and not ready to do the walk/trip – and did not feel like attending. Then I thought it over and decided to go. We drove early Saturday morning 06:00 and arrived for breakfast on the same morning at the cabin. We started walking about 09:00 and we walked till 16:00 that day.


I was walking and shepherding, with my friend Ilja and we early found sheep on Saturday. I would be communicating lots with the sheep and I feel certain it was important to do so. If you are able to communicate with out to much “mind blabbering” it is a key to do so in any relation.  I also got to walk some important mind points with myself and my past when I was there. Now, night of Sunday we have most all our sheep down from the mountain. Only 4 lamb of total 100 lams are now missing.

All in all it was a great walk and  lots of sweat and soar legs from two days of mountain walking, with farmers and sheep in nice weather, Indian summer of Norway.


Check out the pictures: enjoy your breathe:


World view: Sunday 18.09.2016



our cabin “Fjellro” where 10 people was sleeping (one night)


jump for joy



Ilja power-napping


world/word view


Two waters in Sauda



Why we where walking for 2 days

dragon fly.jpg

Dragon fly in grass

Thank you Slettedalen / Sauda / Earth





Day 683 -Creating a better world

Creating a better world


No need to claim that this world is busy waking up and changing. People are seeing the deceive of mind and systems. The lies of banking, education, wars, news, entertainment govern-mind and so on… It is a long list and it is all lies…. And we are waking up like NEO in matrix.. one by one…


What does this mean ? It means that we are and we still need to create fundament of support and care for all of sustainable and ecological best for life: like Venus project lol. To me that is a cool goal to see created.


And so I have a goal. Venus project. Heaven on earth. Anarchy – the perfect order etc…How to get there. By creating part time goals and walking steps everyday to get to that point of actually building the Venus project (or other genuine supportive and best for all solution)

child mind consciousness system tormod


So by committing to everyday walks to take steps everyday in that direction and to have goals and a ways to work towards that greater goal. Part time goals in between – then you reach that goal in the end…


Creating new structures and fundaments, concepts, businesses  and service and platforms to further bring goals like.. the Venus project further. Consistent work every day towards that goal is key. Part time goals, everyday goals… until we are there!

To use the old problem, solution and reward recipe is also a good way to work and write. The in debt understanding of self is also very vital to be able to take  complete responsibility for self and self creation, which is rare today. Very rare.

What we accept and allow to go on these days, of atrocities, is beyond imaginations and is rooted in us like brainwashing and programing.

I want to explain to you something here. And that is how the point of control and “unit” of ..control way back behind all curtains and all the layers of control,  and conspiracies (!!) … that very point of unit/control/enslavement have been taken out. It is no longer here. You may think this sounds like star wars …and that is not far from the truth. We all should know now by now,  that we have been had. Big time. The brainwashing have been complete and to the extreme with all of us us… all we have ever known – have been lies… and lies and  lies.


That is why we can say stop, and realize that we must take a 180  degree turn. We can create  utopia, Venus project and beyond that. I am not joking. The very establishment of control and … be – lie – ves are not in “real” power any more, as the very core “product” they were serving have been taken out. I can explain all this is details, or you can go to YouTube and search through the millions of videos explaining the lies…. but I think you deep, deep within you understand my words.


So what time is this? This is the time of consequence,  and also the year of creation. It is time to create a better world, new supportive and best for all solutions.  Together we can walk towards a great goals of oneness and equality.

I am busy creating a better every day for mental health within psychiatry.

New platforms and new democratic instruments are here. We already have the opportunity to have direct democracy, all the solutions are out there, waiting to be used. Hidden by the mainstream media, and the “old” lies, rooted back at self and mind.

You like me are the key to betterment. Lets walk and create together. Life is waiting for its creators to create, a better world for all, Venus project and beyond…

I have walked a creation process now for more than 4 years. I have gotten over  possessions, obsessions, voices, addictions, imaginations, personalities, believes, judgments, fears, emotions, feelings, mind games, anger, sorrow, thoughts, sabotage, self hurt, suffering, self pity, secret mind, mind fucks….  and literally tons and tons of metaphysical material that I was carrying with me. All this I leave behind, like nothing  from walking my desteni i process.

I stand changed here, in creation. Will you create with me ?



the venus project




Day 678 – marginalizing my schizophrenia



Living with schizophrenia you soon find yourself in the … rather marginalized parts of society. Or to me this seems like the overall picture and something we all would like to change and heal. But when the overall old establishment is only triumphing away with its insane money system, stress, ignorance, fear/ war systems, abuse etc…  then that is what you get. You get addictions, crime, escapism, drama and psychosis and suffering , from how the old money system is rigged and corrupt to the core and beyond.

Notice that this is all traced back to each and every one of us the way we live our lives according to our very own : mind consciousness system – inn lack of self responsibility, self honesty, real love etc…. the mind consciousness system eats you raw and that is all how we are programmed  – to suit into the system – to like it,  accept it and applaud it. We are forced to like it and approve it from our upbringing and our programming and schooling – because hey: our parents did not know any better either. They where programmed to. There are solutions to this mind consciousness / maze we are inn – if you ask me I would share solutions with you. The solution is you.


I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2003. I have later studied and understood that I was born with schizophrenia. That is my reality. This is more and more accepted particular in USA  – the blueprint land. The fact that I thought of suicide at age 13 had to come from somewhere and I have traced it back to my conceiving, and my reincarnation process/ my creation – when I was just a fetus. Math of me. I could share a world with you if you care to listen. Things are not what they seem.





In my 20’s and 30’s I would search high and low for that community and that place to find shelter and care  and compaction, hope, honesty  to be able to live my life with my diagnosis and my experience and my many emotions. I would go into drugging and drinking and the …again marginalized part of society to find meaning and serenity and sanity. When I say the marginalized parts of society I mean the types of places like culture houses, hippie collective, people and institutions that are outside of the ordinary govern-  mind  money rule system of enslavement.

And we do need such places. Such places of anarchy (the perfect order) and a safe haven for so many people.

I could physically not accept that old system of banks, police and govern  – mind etc… It was impossible to me to live with them or should I say according to them. I would oppose them with my everything. Later I learned to trace the origins of these authorities within myself and my mind. All the bullshit/fear/abuse that we see around today, us is traceable back to our mind consciousness systems and our accepted and allowed programming.

I am currently working on establishing self authority. It is all a process to be walked; I welcome you to join me.


The ordinary life of .. suppression, ignorance and over all traditions and consumer culture, money system, mass media … you name it.. I had had enough of it. I refused to accept it and I refuse still. I am a politician and so are you : so we damn best live up to it for the  coming generations.  So I would search alternative ways to live. This have led me down many a path, not always safe and sound with what I was getting into still I did it to survive. I would live my life with several addictions and constant suffering and drama where ever I went. I was living like a rocker or a outcast. It was my way of surviving. I was dirty poor, addicted and practically dying or dead from all my voices, and my suffering of mind and body.

From this low down hard lonely and frozen place I was able to hear a message. The desteni message. This was coming through to me in 2010 / 2011. In 2012 I started to walk my process. I committed to the desteni I process. I can tell you for sure that my process have been quite a ride. I am working on my balance with my previous many addictions. I would push myself to reach for that self honest and that realness. To be my own authority. To be directive with myself. I have been on brink of crawling back into myself and into psychosis many times – breathing and grounding myself as breath have helped me many times to stabilize/ground myself. It have been quite a process. From where I was it could almost only go one way. I was so way down dirt and dying. I was at bottom. No questions about it. I could only improve my life from where I was. At desteni you get the truth. There is hardly sugarcoating at all. You are told things that might be painful and disturbing,  but you realize within the core of your being that it is real.  It is best to be told truth on this side of life, because we don’t know what is expecting us on the other side. Best to deal with all the components here in real time. I started to walk my process, and I would evolve and improve my living from day to day. I would have my drivers license back, I would go to work, I have written several hundred blogs about being me with schizophrenia (schizoaffective). I have about 80 vlogs on youtube about my process that I have been walking, with desteni. I have about 20  tracks on soundcloud where I explain my walking and my point of view. Similar on Mixlr.


So, I have risen from the ashes, like phoenix the bird. I have gotten myself into the rooms where the new psychiatry and drugs treatment is happening. I make myself heard, with my experience. I am discovering my own directive principle. I am discovering to be the best version of myself that I can be. I am discovering words, to be responsible.  I am discovering to be self honest. I am learning  to  be a leader. I am discovering self discipline and virtue.

I am like a child again.  Because with desteni I process I learn to take away the  energies and the psychology that are holding me back from life !


My process right now is about my be – lie – ve within  a perceived righteousness programming and elements within myself. This might sound  strange to many, but I can repeat that. A be – lie  – ve system/complex of seeing myself as superior or moralistic over others/life and having this perceived righteousness as my bother/pain (this construct is a actual pain within me). You don’t find this in  doctors office… only at desteni do we go so deep within the human mind and consciousness experience – and bring it back into physicality and practicality. All of it. Into living words and applications.  Oneness and equality.  It is with accuracy, self honesty and responsibility, I am able to direct myself to share this with you from my walking.

This is who I am today spring 2016 – walking out of be – lie – ve / perceived righteousness. How are you doing yourself ?



“morning surf”

Day 528 – Safety of income = edification of myself.

I joined desteni 3 years ago. It was in January 2012.  At this point in my life I was very much a wreck. My process kicked off in may 2012. I first walked some months with demonology as I was having some possessions that I had to clear out. Desteni can help with such measures: http://demons.desteni.org/ I have walked Desteni I process lite: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ – it is cool, and it is free, and now I am busy constructing mind constructs, with the Desteni I process pro (professional). I joined to become free of voices. And to clear my mind. To straighten up in life. And to my pleasant surprise, Desteni, is so much more than that. Much more. I work through mind. Perfecting me. I feel like I am in the middle of my process and I am making progress quite extensively. And that have very, very much to do with the fact that I can do this. I can afford the cost, to participate with this program. Welfare inn Norway makes it affordable to walk a Desteni I process pro, with my back ground. The lite course is for free, and so is participating on Desteni forum. The professional course cost, and so does eqafe products. I can afford to walk with Desteni and to learn mind. And I don’t not have to work to be able to participate. It is a really cool experience, with being secure of income. I receive 16000 kroners (2100 USD) each month. From disability. From rock bottom.  Anyone should be granted this kind opportunity to have a automated safe income, to be able to walk this so genuine and very cool experience that Desteni, offers. And for that I feel grateful and glad. I am included in the online community of Desteni. Anyone could be included there, as long as one is ready to take responsibility and to be honest. To learn self forgiveness. It is the coolest group. Being here, In the now/moment. Realizing, exploring, walking through, focus on and breathing inn and out, as our very presence.

I am a destonian. I am becoming a leader in my own world . Taking responsibility for myself with everything that I do. 100 %. Through purifying my thoughts, words and my deeds. How am I becoming a world leader ? Like the world/word – word – I am taking responsibility of the words that are within and so without of me. I am active participating with what is best for all. Because what is best for all is also best for me. Through learning the mind, learning self, and learning world systems and then being able to say and bring conclusions and most important solutions, to the world/humanity. I chose what words that are to be the factors/floating out there, within the world that I live. With Desteni I learn critical thinking. I have straightened up from bottom low, to be a more and more responsible person, I am becoming equal and in one with my mind. And then stopping the mind and becoming one with my surroundings. Using self forgiveness, find solutions, equality and oneness. That what is best for all, to build a fundament on further in life. So I step out and I become a world leader – will you join me ?


Thank you

.desteni.org bennedicte