Tag Archives: religion

Day 740 – we have already been programmed




does it not strike you that all humans almost 100 % equally have a mind consciousness system ?

do you dare to ask why we all have that …system and matrix on our shoulders ?

how where we programmed to carry it in the first place, because it definitely seam un natural and like a metaphysical/extra thing/box rather than physical like flesh, bone and blood of the natural body.

very, very many people call upon mind consciousness system (or parts of it) to be God/religion, and the authority they chose to obey. and fail me not to be atheist is just a polarity of this believe, so we are very much left in the dark to figure things out our self. lucky for us there are signs on our path. and the bible is just happen to be one of these signs.

thing is we almost exclusively chose this existence our self, we might have been convinced and corrupted by energies to take this authority and mind/god to our living and practice over millions and millions of years and multiple layers of existence. there have been far more advanced civilizations on this planet earth. lots of it hidden secrets, and mystery not taken into awareness (or schools). I stand to break that silence.

let’s look at a specific example. from the bible. cain killed his brother able. what does this mean ? (realize that the bible is full of equations and riddles and it like a puzzle to help us on our path to awareness and change)

cain killed able

consciousness killed awareness

so we need to restore and bring forth our awareness – again.


so we look at words cain:  cain, ein, one, en (one single)

en + able = enable

enable the awareness

and to be here as awareness is key. consciousness is just a trickery show and “smoke and mirrors” of mind. But don’t fear or despise/hate the mind/box, we must learn to live with it, to make it equal to us – so it can do some work for us instead. if you are into conspiracy and youtube videos, you will see that so many videos (01.01.2017) predict ww3 and catastrophe and mayhem. just like our own old con – sciousness making a con/scam out of us with mind trickery.

realize this, mind is held well and in control by us – serving it energies. positive and negative, like a fucking battery cell of matrix,  energies that further create thoughts, and if you are able to realize that thoughts and thinking is NOT the way to go, you have come quite far, because thoughts as it is, manifested in the physical body is a sabotage and a separation of the flesh/physical. thoughts and thinking is separation of life, and then it gets real easy to make it each and everyone’s task to take responsibility for one self and ones living since, hey, it all boils down to the individual, within mind and who we are as thoughts, words and deed. we know all the secrets and we know the human mind, we have all the solutions waiting for us….all the cool new technologies, just a breath away… but governments and big money is preventing it for all to use it. since they have lots of the tool of money they are corrupted by status q, and we allow it to go on.


picture this:


all the thoughts that you have or have had, that are nasty or cruel, bad thoughts about others, emotions, and perverse fantasy, imaginations, all the stories that  you suppress and deny for, are representing what ? suppression and denial, yes… and just like that all that data of emotions, are stored and stacked away like,  billions and billions and billions of dollars – kept at distance from your and my pocket, because, hey karma strikes. just like we store away all the bad thoughts and mind bothers, endless numbers of money is kept from our common sharing since the system is rigged like that – , so that only a very, very, very few have all the money – and we all have scraps. I am further one voice to break this also. but how ? just knowing it does not break it… I must clean up my mind, in totality. all the nitty – gritty details and stories that I would not share with anyone – it comes out and up and for studying and exposing, I don’t need to criminalize myself by posting my worst fantasy on youtube, but I can write it out, in common sense and self support,  to myself with pen and paper, in self trust and integrity, to my own awareness,  and share how I did it, and what  I used as  a tool to clean up my mind, which is self forgiveness.


“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself…..”


so to empty the mind its demons and energy constructs, and stop the psychology drama/looping and thinking, self forgiveness my friend.  there is nothing like it of this world. let’s change it all – by starting at home.

we are what we create – so within so without.



here I am doing self forgiveness on points that opened up during writing this blog:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feel like all I do is pointing fingers at others and not sorting out my own shit, that makes my process like a burden like I judge myself, and ending up feeling bothered and sick from that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the world is not yet ready for self forgiveness, “they” need more wake up calls, more con – sciousness, more consequence –  in the face to wake up from the suppression.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear to use the bible, thinking I am a christian or religious because of it, proving I have a emotional relationship to being religious or to believes in general.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this blog as just one more wakeup doom and gloom  post that is lost in the maze.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that it would relive me from stress and pain to have more money and to have more stuff, failing to realize that the amount of money does not matter, what matter is who I am in relationship to it.


– thank you for reading






Day 664 – Understanding god



I have been living with a emotional reactive pattern from waaay back in my child hood. A backchat within my head, little demon thoughts in my mind, as of present.

From childhood suppressing I live today with specific backchats within my very mind and being. Thoughts/bakchats of blame and guilt, and emotions.

It goes back to being a young boy, and not understanding the concept of “GOD”. I don’t understand the concept of god, being 5,6 years etc… so I start thinking less/inferior about myself. I started this emotional play of being “stupid” and “dumb” to my own awareness. Calling myself a idiot.

This goes into my schooling specifically within the subject of mathematics. I start to do mistakes in school, in math and language. So I see, I drag with me the error of not understanding “god”, into math and language. Doing wrong and spinning in it. Not getting out of it before… 20 – 30 years later; today.

All that pain…


I enroll within my characters of being dumb or stupid from school/child programming. I think to myself that I am stupid and dumb/weird/different. And I am terrified at the same time. I am terrified that this should leak out and that people should hear about myself thinking about myself that I am “stupid” or “dumb” from not being able to accept that there is/is not a god. I am shit scared that someone where to know what I tell myself in my thoughts. I tell myself I am dumb and I am stupid in my thinking. This is also at the same time my schizophrenic mind growing on me. And I suppress it all. Deep, deep down within my physical and being. Waaay below. I suppress all this from not being able to live with the fact that I can’t understand or grasp the concept of god.  I see that I abandon myself and separate myself out of fear from being seen by others as different.What fucking’s pity to grow up like that.

I would fear that these thoughts would be picked up by someone else. But it is then that fear; that is visible. It is from this fear of being spotted, that made me into a victim of bullying. Fear is visible. Dogs can smell it. Yet it is a illusion and it does not exist. Just like g..



Self forgiveness in next post..


Day 660 – Schizophrenia and the bible

I started to read the bible some days ago. This world and its rules and design of matrix, psychology and components are very much based on the bible and the christian teachings. I guess that is why we have corruption, separation, fear, rape, murder, poverty, war, and all sorts of crime and abuse. That is not the only reason – but you get the picture… I started to read the first books of genesis. It is quite stunning to read. How it is designed from ones directive principle, to entwine oneness consciousness into the text and feed oneself with the words and concept of the bible and the books of genesis literally brainwashing while reading it. These books are filed with insanity, manipulation, psychology and crime. To put it short.


Some hours later I started to hear thoughts or a voices in my head. Like demanding voices and orders within my mind and thinking. It was not a cool experience. I was quite scared and also triggered by it. And I realize that I started to have these authoritarian voices in my head because of having read 2-3 first chapters of genesis inn the bible. This book, is so interwoven in society and in our lives from be – LIE – ves that we don’t see the crime. It is right in front of our noses.


I did not read a lot, but I understood that I was quite taken by what I was reading. And like I said I started to have these authoritarian voices after having read it. No wonder there is war in this world, from how we are directed by this book (amongst others) to live our lives.


I will work through self forgiveness to release myself from this construct of authoritarian conscious voices. And I will gently put the bible aside for now.


What this all means to me is that, I am quite sensitive. Apart from that, I see how the old system tries to play itself in the new system, but the old system is failing and falling apart. Collapsing. Still religious programming and brainwashing,  is huge and deep, deep within humanity.




What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative – as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.

– June Roca





I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into consciousness with my energies of fear from reading about the violence and crimes in the books of genesis, where I later started to hear voices and having thoughts in my head from this experience of reading about this “god” that said this and that and literally make life hell on earth from genesis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my voices as they were demanding and ordering, like they were from my dad, or a teacher or a master or of the Lord, major of the crown city of London, because he is the only true lord of this earth of the old rules and system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to open up my ideas and thoughts about this voices and from where it came from out of fear to open up, like a can of worms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to related to the word “god” as my father as my own father that is my dad, that in fact is not him but the “papa”, by the old system the pope and the leaders of the Vatican, that have been rulers of heaven (the Vatican ) and its laws like “umnun sanctum”, preaching, and so on.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to break loose from the kings and the priests of this world and to fear consequences of what would happen to me as of consequences of ending my own matrix, ending my game by stopping participating in the game and rather honor life and live my life.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my voices in my head where autotarian like from the millgram’s experiment and how we are all programmed to follow voices and concepts of authority like teachers or police or royalties etc, that is all together completely brainwash and lies all from constructs like the bible and the books of genesis and you might say, day to day life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I that since all these people from the bible, could “hear”; “god” in sound, they where all schizophrenic, voice hearers, and not sane.

If things are not clear or you juts want to send me a picture of a flower, my facebook url :



Thank you for reading; enjoy your computing and breathing.




Day 638 – fear of money (1 & 2)


fear of money part 1 : paying big bills

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to have big bills to pay , like the bill for car fee that is quite expensive in Norway, that I fear is coming next year, this spring, within this I fear the money and to not have enough money to pay it and still have enough to live for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the thousands of details that come with my programming of fear of money, where I am taught to fear money since I was a very young boy all through my life, until her no further. I will not fear money no more. I will use common sense with money and not chase or worship money. Till here no further will I not let it stress me or fear it no more.

When and as I see myself fearing to have big bills to pay, I stop myself, I slow myself down, and I breathe. I realize that there is always solutions. There is parents and programs and common sense. I realize that I could get through a big bill, even without taking up loan. I can manage. I realize I am quite taken by how I have a economic stability these days, having gone of my addictions and my past living with such, stabilizing and clearing my spending. I realize that money is a idea and even though it is worshiped like a religion. I realize that I will work to expose the scam of banking and money and to work with every inch of my body to oneness and equality – for the best of all. I commit myself to life, and to live each day like it was my last, or at least working to empower and to change myself into a more equal and virtue being.


fear of money part 2 : basic income

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear supporting BIG or LIG or any kind of basic income program, because I fear I will have lesser income, within this I fear and feel sad from having judged basic income or lig as lesser of a income to myself than what I have today from disabilities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like not supporting BIG or LIG because of how I fear to have lesser income.

When and as I see myself fearing big or lig of any form of basic income program. I stop myself, I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that I do not realistically imagine that I would come out with lesser income. I realize that I should not fear this change as I take on starting my own business. I realize that this fear I have from his program is based on superstitions and illusions, not reality and facts. I commit myself to not give into this fear over the illusion that I will have lesser income. I will manage. I am sure.