Tag Archives: personality

Day 791 – The personality game

What is the personality game ?

It is a game of learning self to know. To spot self as personalities and to notice the polarity within a personality.

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For instance….

I would have one personality with talking to my dad at home in the living room. In this situation I am playing a part in a known personality. There might be many, many points with this personality all based on how my relationship is with my father and how I experience such a communication, in mind, and being a physical.

This is a example of a first personality. Talking to dad in the living room.
Another example is the personality of talking to the cashier lady at the supermarket. Then in that situation I have another, different personality, than who I was talking to my dad. This personality would be based on my relationship to shopping perhaps, or that particular store, or according to other factors.

A third example is when I talk to a little girl in the kinder garden. Then I have yet another personality – that plays out according to my relation to the girl to where I am at in that moment etc.

From situation to situation I am not the same self ! …it is like I am not honest ! Can you see this ?

It would help to see the polarity within. Comparing self in the different environment could be assisting. Meaning the positive relations and the negative relations to the persona that is playing out. Meaning there are positive (feelings) that play out and there is also negative (emotions) also present. Here it is to be trained in being self honest. To call it for what it is. To say that this is such and such… to trust self to know what is positive polarity and what is negative. Remember to be honest – you are dealing with self. It is a deep going quest to learn about self. The ultimate ride… You learning to know you – through mind.

So we are seldom quite honest you could say, we are seldom the same, like one, or genuine, with how we live our lives. It is more like we live in a “prison/person/personality” – imprisoned in our mind by our own “sentences” and living. It is like we trick our self to live personalities that suit the mind. And most of the time not the physical or what is most practical or what is needed.

We all strive to be more honest, genuine and real. From the heart/physical you might say. So see for yourself if you can identify your personalities that play out during a day. See how many different you can spot within self. Write them out, it would help to forgive the energy addiction/polarity within, using self forgiveness. It is quite remarkable to be able to see ones personalities within oneness mind and to take charge of oneness living as such.

Enjoy learning about self and discover personalities of mind

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If you are curious about self-forgiveness – the best self help tool in town – please ask me !

 

Here is a awesome (!)  interview on polarity: https://eqafe.com/p/the-design-of-polarity

 

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Day 761 – symmetry and play

About a year ago I  was given some specific words to investigate, to redefine and live. One of these words was the word symmetry. Now I have been studying some various sources of what is the definition of symmetry. And it seem to me that most have several meanings to this word. It holds several definitions.

I would think , to myself,  I need to break it down in one core definition. Like this ultimate definition of this word. Failing to see that it can actually mean more than one thing. It can have multiple definitions.

 

So with these thoughts spinning in my mind, with its pro an con’s. I  thought, I have to nail this in one definite meaning.  So I posted on facebook this picture, of what I thought was the definition of this word.

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I posted it without much consideration on facebook, and thought it is mostly word play. I wanted to play with this word so I posted it, not taking it ever to serious what definition I had given this word. I was like testing it out.

To me it was mostly play. And that right there is my core issue. If I post something out of play and … testing out to myself, like playing with the word/issue. Then do I have to say that – hey this here is play ? Do I have to make a sticker on the post saying obs, obs, be aware this is me playing ??

What is play ? How do I define play ?

 

Because in the eyes of the observer, who reads my facebook post, how should he or she know that “hey, this is a joke” – more or less.  This is not serious or .. real, it is a  joke. And how is it that I hereby make play invalid and wrong ?

Interesting huh ?

 

If someone is playing, than it should then show, that this someone is playing.  No?  Is this not about being clear in ones stand ? Yes it does. So if I was clear in my stand, It would show that this was playing ?…  I am not sure if this is right, and that is from not knowing myself good enough. From not knowing 100% my standing and purpose. It creates insecurities and doubt, do you agree ?

 

So for me this was a alarm going off. Saying to myself to be clear. To know myself. And to work on de constructing and removing my personality of uncertainty and doubt. So it seem like my personality of uncertainty and doubt have been playing me for a fool here.

So this goes to show that I need to redefine play to myself – because as of now it is not clear.  And to continue on finding my definition to the word symmetry.

 

Thanks for reading

 

Check out the links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

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Day 760 – My voices in my head

A relationship between me and my voices

 

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drawing by:  Tormod Hvidsten Gjedrem

 

This is very clinical about my voices*

 

I realize that I have been living a pattern. A particular pattern concerning my thoughts/backchats/voices. Many times I have experienced voices and “loud” thoughts. Sometimes I experience these as very scary messages. They come from within myself and is a direct result of my schizophrenia/programming. They are my responsibility to handle, heal and/or live with.

It can be tough sometimes. Here; it is my relationship to the word “tough” that I need to look at, to not fuel the mind and the voices further. I hope you get the picture. Feel free to contact me if you don’t.

 

A peculiar thing is that have characterized my voices like saying that this particular voice is “scary”, or it is “bad” or “evil”. I would give energies/characterization and fuel/power to the voices/thoughts, by sorting them out to myself. I would give this voice the characterization of horror or hell, wicked, spiteful  or evil …. and so on.

 

What I have not seen and realized before now is that,  by characterizing and giving the voices energy/verdict, I give them fuel. I grant them access in my mind and in my head through energies. Voices in  my head – granted to be there – acting out because I gave them the specific energy to burn with, like fuel on a engine. Running crazy in my head with voices – because I give the voices a certain energy, by characterizing it.

This buck stops right here !

I will stop feeding my voices/thoughts with energies. I don’t need to characterize my voices, rather deal with them in self honesty, self responsibility and what is best for all. I will expose my schizophrenia and share what I find. I will support myself through this process as best I can.

 

self forgiveness on the point :

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give voices and thoughts in my head and in my mind certain energies and characterizations, like a value or fuel for the thought/voice to be and function in my head, of how I experience it out of my pre programming, and then giving it a purpose with how I place value on it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize why I have voices in my head, I had forgiven them, failing to see and realize that I judged and characterized the voice that was in my head and by that fueling it more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need to characterize my voices out of how I am programmed to value, judge and criticize everything around me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to appreciate me here, and Instead give into energies and voices in my head/mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be-lie-ve that I have to attach value to my voices and to characterize them, from old habit,  when this only fuels them with more power.

 

 

self commitment:

I commit myself to not give judging or characterization to my voices, as it will only fuel more voices in my head.

I commit myself to appreciate me here as life and to not “feed” my thoughts/voices with energies.

my video on this point:

 

Thanks for reading !

 

Please give time to the links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

Day 687 – Dominant personality of self judgement

When working with the self and with mind/psychology, you can’t miss to deal with personalities. We all have lived and are living personalities and characters. So what is a personality ? A personality is a person / prison of self. I look at it like we are pin- needles. A personality is like a pin needle from design, or a battery – with plus and minus. Positive and negative. This is the clean, methaphysical  essence of it. And it is also important to understand that it is a polarity. From that containing of positive and negative. Like fear is polarity of love.  And remember that you can’t have the one without the other polarity. A universal and natural law. We all have to deal with this matters – sooner or later.

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I am here looking at my personality of self judging, where I judge myself. A rather tough and dominant character who I would like to see gone. Dissolved like … nothing.

And it is possible. From self forgiveness, I can release all the energies, voices etc  and all the polarities from my body and from there walk self corrections to change.

So I delete the pin needle and let go of the energy suffering. You can do it to, just check out how with the tools of desteni.org

 

enjoy:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I was done with personalities and thinking they are all gone ; it is over, but now coming “back” and doing a good job with it all clearing out all leftovers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel dragged of bored with “having to start with personalities again”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this personality of dominant self judgment into a  more and stronger personality by calling it “dominant”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I see myself making up this game of judgment to myself where I see that it is ultimately me in a type of dominant judge character that is making up all the backchats and thoughts where I judge myself, and where I see that this person where I needs to change to eventually let go of self judgment and victimizing of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to take responsibility for this person because it seems so well established within myself within my programming and that it goes so deep within my physical, that I fear to take on the task.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that this person/prison character is more than a personality or character where I give this person or character value for being more than what it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face this personality out of fear of consequences or that this personality should become angry at me  for that reason.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on sexual dominant words and voices from this character, where I learn that is my schizophrenia, and I let the words from this dominant character spin in my head/mind and make my life hell.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take orders, voices and messages from this dominant character/troll within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that all is not yet known with this character of a judge/judgment archetype.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself in court in the ordinary owned by the crown city of London, under Roman catholic law; court, since I don’t suit into mind and the old system and since, I oppose it with a better solution, to reverse it from a debt/death system to  life/responsible system that is good for life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand trial to myself and my likings and my desires with and as thoughts, imaginations and backchats.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dream away in ideas and thoughts about how a court could be a good court and to suit life and not like currently death and corruption.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I reason with myself with thinking it all related back to substance, to life, me, here, physical and my actions.

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Day 672 – forgiving my internal policeman

 

This is a continuation on my last blog: Day 671 – “personality of a policeman”

Self forgiveness and self corrections on “personality of a policeman”

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live the archetype of a judge and to simply pass the “movement” of perceived righteousness onto my opinionated character of a police man after having been a judge first, sort of working the lines of order,  and living the matrix.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that I have forgotten most of what went on when I was a kid growing up, and I realize I have suppressed it and forgotten most of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to imagine myself as a police that is always at work blaming and bashing out on people and making people stand accused of whatever.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to call the judges archetype and the police archetypes for specifically : demons as I see both how they act out in society/news and how they act a moral, controlling and oppression of this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that my suppression and denial of my past and of living daily with archetypes, is making effect on other people today/life forms today,  in this world and having consequences for life that I am not aware of but still responsible for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be confronted with these archetypes of judges/police as I would suppress it further and call out a  need of more control further bringing oppression and violations and abuse to/against life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not recognize and deny for the word “perceived righteousness” and pushing this from myself and refusing to take responsibility for this phenomena when it is a part of who I have been and my life/ my past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to live this word “perceived righteousness” as I would call it out to be not understandable, and I would hide from it and call it a lie.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge all police and judges as bad or wrong.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that we don’t need judges and police.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that sometimes on rare occasions, I can enforce control or judging – totally giving into the character.

 

 

When and as I see myself about to “kick-start” a game of moral/control within and as myself, with playing on perceived righteousness and judge/police archetype, I stop myself, I slow myself down, and I breathe. I realize that my perceived righteousness is totally wrong and only based on be – lie – ve foundations. I realize that my foundations of feeling I need to enforce some control have grown on me from having live a life- without control and also I the same sentence, without responsibility. I realize that there is a huge difference between control and responsibility.

 

I commit myself to be more flexible. I commit myself to use common sense if people ask me to take part in something. I commit myself to investigate, further how to get over my perceived righteousness and  my believe systems. I commit myself to expose what my findings to the world.

 

When and as I see myself going back thinking I have this relations from control or being a enforcer, and simply thinking it is my programming, I am excused, thinking I don’t have to take responsibility for it. I stop myself, I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that perceiving is  not natural it is a product of mind.  I  realize that if I perceive something or make a fantasy up in my mind, it is just meta – data and not real.

I commit myself to work on how to take on responsibility further for my life and also in “new” areas of my living. I commit myself to work on debunking all my believes and imaginations. I commit myself to embrace the word responsibility.

 

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Day 671 – Personality of “a policeman”

– seeing myself as a police & control freak

I have some issues with perceived righteousness. Thinking I know what is “right”. Judging myself and others when I be – lie – ve,  something wrong within a situation. Thinking of myself as this special person, giving my character a opinion – a opinionated character of a police, within my head and my mind.

It is like this: you have a personality/ polarity construct. This needle/battery is then given a opinion,  a certain energy flows into this character to make it into me, playing out this character in life. I have this urge to feel that my way is “right way” and to feel superior to have my idea or “right” enforced on others, based on my be – lie – ves of who I am, and have grown into from programming.

 

It is not a fun thing to admit, lol, that I have this urge within to be a enforcer,  a police man, within and as myself.

Let me give you some perspective.

 

When I was a young kid at 7 – 12 years old. I grew up with 3 sisters and lots of cousins. We would play a lot and be messy, and play, sometime rather violent play. I remember my mother calling me the “police man” of the house. I have later suppressed this of forgotten it, but my mother tells me that I would pick on or bully particular my younger sister if they, according to me, did something wrong.

I would be on top of them and put them in their designated places. This is mostly forgotten within me now today,  but I see this personality polarity playing out and,  “wops” comes this memory of me playing police with my sisters. This plays out today within reactions, friction within me as the archetype of a judge archetype, and then triggering into a police archetype, that works it’s was through facebook, news, shopping, making dinner, working out, writing, walking etc… It is like a tiny part of my consciousness that sparks this police in my head to life and to living, practice.

 

It could play out from; looking at facebook and judging a picture a article or a video, on facebook. Or I could judge and feel need to correct someone in talks/dialogue in my daily life, or just on sight at the supermarket, judging and feeling like I have to correct it. Appearance, clothes, comments, mannerism, act etc…

 

This metaphysical “police” is like the second demon, in line after the (demon) judge archetype makes its judging, just like in society. It is all programming and lies, running a spiral – eating itself – like cancer. I have to realize that there is no right and wrong. There is only what is best for all. Investigate all things and keep that which is good – best for all.

 

Self forgiveness and self corrections inn blogs to follow.

 

desteni.org bennedicte

Day 627 – Character of “talking about mental sickness”

 

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I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to take on the particular design of illness of being schizophrenic or bi polar or psychotic – type of energies or personality system/emotional system as of describing it/talking to a audience and doing so fearing taking on the components to myself sort of testing out as I speak the diagnosis and illness to myself – fearing to become what I speak of.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to avoid the type of talk and confronting within mentioning illnesses and diagnosis’s and fearing to end up with, the illness myself so I would leave out of the conversation or talk important awareness because I wanted to protect myself from the illness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project and to picture myself as a so far of an expert on psychiatry and illness of mind and being, that I would think of myself as a part of the sickness within these definition of these different types of sufferings like schizophrenia and bi – polar.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I can over come my schizophrenia by walking my process with self forgiveness until I am over my consciousness and into real life and being/living awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am living these diagnosis simply by knowing of then and spreading awareness of them, like they were contagious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am living the diagnosis of bi polarity simply from having knowledge of the diagnosis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be, or carry anything contagious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for participating in the backchat going on in my head telling me “I can’t do it”, “I cant do anything” “I suck”, “I am terrible at this”, and I will no further participate in such sabotaging. Enough is enough.

 

When and as I see myself talking or about to talk on mental suffering and illnesses, and I go into fear of taking of these illnesses, I stop myself I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that mental suffering is not contagious, it is rather opposite that not knowing anything about mental health could be sickening/dangerous. I realize that there should be no fear involved as fear is a illusion and does not really exist. I realize that I should talk in a way and out of self honesty as it provides me with awareness, clarity and also with being grounded. I realize I have the insight to talk on these matters and I realize I should be able to make a good talk to any crowd.

 

I commit myself to end the fear I have of talking in crowds and I commit myself to use common sense and slowing down when talking to people. I commit myself to slow down in general in my life. I commit myself to self honesty and to live to express myself in clarity to all people listening.

 

Please investigate the links:

2nd blog : theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

Yo listen : eqafe.com/

The platform of all the fun: desteni.org/

Walk the talk: desteniiprocess.com/

Lets walk the easy first: lite.desteniiprocess.com/

The program: livingincome.me/