Tag Archives: mind consciousness

Day 791 – The personality game

What is the personality game ?

It is a game of learning self to know. To spot self as personalities and to notice the polarity within a personality.

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For instance….

I would have one personality with talking to my dad at home in the living room. In this situation I am playing a part in a known personality. There might be many, many points with this personality all based on how my relationship is with my father and how I experience such a communication, in mind, and being a physical.

This is a example of a first personality. Talking to dad in the living room.
Another example is the personality of talking to the cashier lady at the supermarket. Then in that situation I have another, different personality, than who I was talking to my dad. This personality would be based on my relationship to shopping perhaps, or that particular store, or according to other factors.

A third example is when I talk to a little girl in the kinder garden. Then I have yet another personality – that plays out according to my relation to the girl to where I am at in that moment etc.

From situation to situation I am not the same self ! …it is like I am not honest ! Can you see this ?

It would help to see the polarity within. Comparing self in the different environment could be assisting. Meaning the positive relations and the negative relations to the persona that is playing out. Meaning there are positive (feelings) that play out and there is also negative (emotions) also present. Here it is to be trained in being self honest. To call it for what it is. To say that this is such and such… to trust self to know what is positive polarity and what is negative. Remember to be honest – you are dealing with self. It is a deep going quest to learn about self. The ultimate ride… You learning to know you – through mind.

So we are seldom quite honest you could say, we are seldom the same, like one, or genuine, with how we live our lives. It is more like we live in a “prison/person/personality” – imprisoned in our mind by our own “sentences” and living. It is like we trick our self to live personalities that suit the mind. And most of the time not the physical or what is most practical or what is needed.

We all strive to be more honest, genuine and real. From the heart/physical you might say. So see for yourself if you can identify your personalities that play out during a day. See how many different you can spot within self. Write them out, it would help to forgive the energy addiction/polarity within, using self forgiveness. It is quite remarkable to be able to see ones personalities within oneness mind and to take charge of oneness living as such.

Enjoy learning about self and discover personalities of mind

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If you are curious about self-forgiveness – the best self help tool in town – please ask me !

 

Here is a awesome (!)  interview on polarity: https://eqafe.com/p/the-design-of-polarity

 

Day 759 – fearing suicide

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Disclaimer : we at desteni are not doctors or health care personel – we are ordinary people figuring out, practical, best for all solutions in life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fearing not living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear committing suicide.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame for fearing suicide, like I fail at life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame for having lost so many friends to suicide and/over mental issues.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  feel shame for not knowing myself good enough to see this pattern of fearing suicide.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to rather than giving into this fear, this programming of accepting suicide, I should rather open up and communicate and talk to people, to have courage and to be brave and talk without bias.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear being me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live like a personality/polarity construct of wanting to honor life, and to give my best and in the other end fearing to not be able to live – to chose the death part, like with the extreme of suicide.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame and discomfort for alarming and confusing others by saying/admitting that I have issues with suicide.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to limit my world and opportunities by admitting and saying to the world that I have issues with suicide.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel discomfort with talking even to myself, alone, about suicide.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give in energies and drive to something I don’t quite know what is.

 

 

I realize that I should rather be with myself comfort myself do things to support my body/self love.

I commit myself to be more open and communicative – to dare live.

I commit myself to express and share more my insides.

 

 

links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

Day 748 – Jesus was a demon

Here is my video talk and perspective on Jesus and who he was. Also some deep realizations about myself and life; enjoy !

 

 

also check out Gian and Joe talking on desteni radio / and further links within so

also check out eqafe series on crucifixion of jesus

Thanks !

Day 747 – emotionally addicted

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I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take on/attack myself with angst, fear, judgments, anger and depression, and for not being able to clear the house/my body completely of these emotions (…) and then simply returning to self, with a more concentrated personality/mixture of these poisonous emotions and to crucify myself within my flesh/body with these designs, over and over again – not seeing until now the infinite looping returning to sender (me) like basic math.
I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to be done with judging/blaming myself so it returns from the ego/consciousness with greater force since now I am aware of it, I know it is “there”, for it to knock me out and to crucify me and make me hurt.

I forgive myself that I have that I have accepted and allowed myself feel like letting go of emotions, and I think to myself they are simply imaginary and they don’t exist.

I forgive myself that I have that I have accepted and allowed myself dump my emotions on others/project it on others – simply to have it smack me out of my chair in the next turn.

I forgive myself that I have that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I have to learn my emotions from scratch.

I forgive myself that I have that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like emotions got me doomed.

I forgive myself that I have that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to others and to think that they have it so much easier than me.

I forgive myself that I have that I have accepted and allowed myself to look at, and try to make sense of  this looping of emotions short-cutting me into little pieces and making me suffer – from the design of the conscious mind and polarity/energy design, like a rollercoaster/blender from hell.

I forgive myself that I have that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it is my schizophrenia – I have to live with it.

I forgive myself that I have that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that I must stop the conscious looping and energy games – it will only cause consequences for me.

I commit myself to look closer at the bigger picture here, and to look deep into myself, about looping /playing games with energies in my mind.

sooo…

loving the fear & the angst… (looking deep inside)

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to feel like I can express more/be more explicit/creative, when I am inn angst and in anxiety and this then gives me a sense of freedom within being lost in angst.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like angst since I feel like I can express more freely.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to addict to angst.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to addict to fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to use fear as a tool to manipulate particular in ways to gain sex and to try to use fear to gain sex to myself.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to “like” fear as a tool to have/gain/manipulate to have sex.

here I talk more on my schizophrenia : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO3fFWY-jh4&t=0s

here is a cool interview: https://eqafe.com/p/interview-request-schizophrenia

Other links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

Day 740 – we have already been programmed

 

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does it not strike you that all humans almost 100 % equally have a mind consciousness system ?

do you dare to ask why we all have that …system and matrix on our shoulders ?

how where we programmed to carry it in the first place, because it definitely seam un natural and like a metaphysical/extra thing/box rather than physical like flesh, bone and blood of the natural body.

very, very many people call upon mind consciousness system (or parts of it) to be God/religion, and the authority they chose to obey. and fail me not to be atheist is just a polarity of this believe, so we are very much left in the dark to figure things out our self. lucky for us there are signs on our path. and the bible is just happen to be one of these signs.

thing is we almost exclusively chose this existence our self, we might have been convinced and corrupted by energies to take this authority and mind/god to our living and practice over millions and millions of years and multiple layers of existence. there have been far more advanced civilizations on this planet earth. lots of it hidden secrets, and mystery not taken into awareness (or schools). I stand to break that silence.

let’s look at a specific example. from the bible. cain killed his brother able. what does this mean ? (realize that the bible is full of equations and riddles and it like a puzzle to help us on our path to awareness and change)

cain killed able

consciousness killed awareness

so we need to restore and bring forth our awareness – again.

 

so we look at words cain:  cain, ein, one, en (one single)

en + able = enable

enable the awareness

and to be here as awareness is key. consciousness is just a trickery show and “smoke and mirrors” of mind. But don’t fear or despise/hate the mind/box, we must learn to live with it, to make it equal to us – so it can do some work for us instead. if you are into conspiracy and youtube videos, you will see that so many videos (01.01.2017) predict ww3 and catastrophe and mayhem. just like our own old con – sciousness making a con/scam out of us with mind trickery.

realize this, mind is held well and in control by us – serving it energies. positive and negative, like a fucking battery cell of matrix,  energies that further create thoughts, and if you are able to realize that thoughts and thinking is NOT the way to go, you have come quite far, because thoughts as it is, manifested in the physical body is a sabotage and a separation of the flesh/physical. thoughts and thinking is separation of life, and then it gets real easy to make it each and everyone’s task to take responsibility for one self and ones living since, hey, it all boils down to the individual, within mind and who we are as thoughts, words and deed. we know all the secrets and we know the human mind, we have all the solutions waiting for us….all the cool new technologies, just a breath away… but governments and big money is preventing it for all to use it. since they have lots of the tool of money they are corrupted by status q, and we allow it to go on.

 

picture this:

 

all the thoughts that you have or have had, that are nasty or cruel, bad thoughts about others, emotions, and perverse fantasy, imaginations, all the stories that  you suppress and deny for, are representing what ? suppression and denial, yes… and just like that all that data of emotions, are stored and stacked away like,  billions and billions and billions of dollars – kept at distance from your and my pocket, because, hey karma strikes. just like we store away all the bad thoughts and mind bothers, endless numbers of money is kept from our common sharing since the system is rigged like that – , so that only a very, very, very few have all the money – and we all have scraps. I am further one voice to break this also. but how ? just knowing it does not break it… I must clean up my mind, in totality. all the nitty – gritty details and stories that I would not share with anyone – it comes out and up and for studying and exposing, I don’t need to criminalize myself by posting my worst fantasy on youtube, but I can write it out, in common sense and self support,  to myself with pen and paper, in self trust and integrity, to my own awareness,  and share how I did it, and what  I used as  a tool to clean up my mind, which is self forgiveness.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself…..”

 

so to empty the mind its demons and energy constructs, and stop the psychology drama/looping and thinking, self forgiveness my friend.  there is nothing like it of this world. let’s change it all – by starting at home.

we are what we create – so within so without.

 

 

here I am doing self forgiveness on points that opened up during writing this blog:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feel like all I do is pointing fingers at others and not sorting out my own shit, that makes my process like a burden like I judge myself, and ending up feeling bothered and sick from that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the world is not yet ready for self forgiveness, “they” need more wake up calls, more con – sciousness, more consequence –  in the face to wake up from the suppression.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear to use the bible, thinking I am a christian or religious because of it, proving I have a emotional relationship to being religious or to believes in general.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this blog as just one more wakeup doom and gloom  post that is lost in the maze.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that it would relive me from stress and pain to have more money and to have more stuff, failing to realize that the amount of money does not matter, what matter is who I am in relationship to it.

 

– thank you for reading

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http://desteni.org/

 

 

Day 739 – Taking my medications, sir; yes sir

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To treat schizophrenia there is not many known treatments that work. If one has schizophrenia one most likely carry it with through oneness life on earth – at least as a blueprint. I have had lots of troubles with accepting medications. Countless arguments and fights  with parents and nurses, on whether, I was to take my medications or not. For a long time I thought I could use weed and hajjis to cure myself. I also used alcohol to medicate myself.

 

Now there is lots of  other treatments and services out there. Holographic Kinetics, self forgiveness, self corrections, self honesty, blogging, communicating, write, workout/gym, healthy diet, daily walks, different activities,  – there is lots. I use in particular self forgiveness and I experience that it has a very good effect on me. I also am very aware of what I eat, and I try to block out things I know that my body does not like.

The pharmacy industry is a big and corrupt business, yes no doubt. But it is still just a reflection of humankind  and our mind and how we treat one another. The outplay of corruption and lies from pharmacy industry is just a reflection of how we humans treat each other. How we live in backchats, and blame, anger, fear, believes, personalities, guilt and separation, (etc)… tell little white lies to each other, and manipulate in our heads/mind.

I have schizophrenia, so for me since we still have all the abuse going on in this world, so within so without, I still take my medications. And I use other therapies as supplement. Such as self forgiveness, it is cool.

So I cooperate with my doctor and take my medications. I am tired of fighting my parents and tired of sabotaging the system.

 

So many millions of people have a emotional/troublesome relationship with taking medications, and it causes a lot of pain and damage/death, to not have a stable and solid, rooted relationship with taking oneness drugs. All the bashing and blaming of drug industry is causing lots of damage, pain and endless rivers of tears. Know thy self.

 

One more time: Yes pharmacy is a huge & corrupt sack of lies. But it is what we have, and to a small degree it works.  But also to consider that big – pharmacy  is just a reflection of humankind and our mind games/psychology. It is what it is, and it could have been much worse. So a note here to all the people being activist and bashing out on medications; change starts with self. If you want change – start self forgiveness with yourself. Because we all have a mind consciousness system, equally, and we all are equally responsible for all the atrocities and abuse that is taking place on earth. all of it.

Try a course of self forgiveness for real change of self.

Check out the links and my talk on this topic below (soundcloud):

 

http://wiki.destonians.com/Self-Forgiveness

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

 

 

 

thanks !

Day 735 – trace.it.back.to.self

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we are born equals. we all have a mind consciousness system to deal with. we are all equally responsible for everything that takes place on this earth of ours. all of it.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to want to give the world some slack, meaning I would think and assume that the words human population has had enough, of suffering and consequences and that I would be (the) one to bring hope or a sense or saying “relax” and “don’t worry it will be fine”, when it will obviously take quite some more self investigation and introspection of mind and living to be able to relax and not worry, because as long as people are not really pointing all things (everything) back to self and becoming equalized with it/matters – things will not become good or pleasant – it will only worsen, with the suppression of responsibility and honesty, life and circumstances – when will we  really wake up ?

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have not been able to realize and fully understand the importance of the words so within so without – meaning what i carry within will be reflected without, and I should clear my insides and my within before i can expect any sort of change without – the math is easy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to refuse to take on points in real time like taking on (sudden) anxiety – with self forgiveness, and if i push it away, instead of forgiving it  it will have consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to  feel a urge to give the world ease, hidden here is the secret mind, or me being in power and in control, to then like a king – grant this ease to people, and tell them to don’t worry, when there is all reason to worry, and to rather than suppressing even more in the cultural glam and to judge system, external,  we must each and everyone or us become responsible – trace it back to self – for everything that takes place on this earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like screaming into the ear of all people on earth – trace it back to self – since that is what we need, to forgive our self for all the layers and energies within to be clear stable and not depending on feelings and emotions and then no longer locked in polarity/mind.

 

I commit myself to be the pioneer in my living with tracing everything back to myself, to cover all parts  with and to forgive myself in detail for everything, and guide others in doing the same.

 

Here I am reading from Marlen life’s blog

about bringing it back to self

enjoy!