Tag Archives: mind consciousness system

Day 800 – To fear my own emotions

Listening to “creating a safe space for emotions and expressions” I realize a particular thing with the my experience of self and mind, that is how I am fearing my own emotions. I can fear and very soon go into judging and reacting of my own emotions. Check out the interview it is really cool.

 

That is quite something to discover. And it is a bit of evidence of how hard wired and complex the mind and the world and our individual consciousness system is. There are reasons why the world have been experienced as complicated and hard to grasp. It is all about self. I can guarantee you. Our mind programming has be complex, tough, delicate, multi layered and vivid. It has been a lot, and it has been omni present instead of life. This has now been changed and life is now in front seat. Individually we still carry all our programming and matrix data/mind. This we have to forgive and become responsible with.

 

So this is me highlighting a component of my programming. The fact that I react and judge my emotions (sort of super-sizing it) by first going into fears. Say for instance that I am about to experience angst. I would most likely first go into fear, and then take it personally and judge or react to my angst, as well as my fear. lol you see it get very manifold within so.

So this is me discovering myself and my programming. Seeing and exposing it for all its details. One more time to explain : I would fall into a emotion, say angst, and within so I would fear that angst, and also on top of that, react or judge my fear and my angst. lol it is simply beyond. By forgiving it all, and realize  our self and standing up within this we can really learn the depth of mind and change our relationships and then create a ripple effect in the world.

DSC_0125 (2)

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

Advertisements

Day 713 : Day 20 : Mind

 

 

10649704_513269325499634_5017825150375003621_n.jpg

artist : Ori Zindel

 

Day 20 of 21 days of walking with self forgiveness

I will take on the challenge from my brother : Gian Robberts on walking a 21 day trial of (only/daily) self forgiveness on points. I will walk these points of self forgiveness for self/world change during 21 days.

Here is Gain’s Blog :

http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.no

21 days of self forgiveness on key points.

The points will be that kind of relevant points as of this world and our living.

Money, sex, politics, work, religion, mind  and so on.

 

Day 20 : Mind

Please read loud for best effect

 

Today I will write about mind. Realize that I use the term MCS – mind consciousness system about mind. Realize that I barely touch in on the wider issue about mind this is just to show what self forgiveness can do…

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to call upon mind from first experiencing temptations and words of flirt & desire, where I realize that mind is all about slaving me to energies and to ego/thoughts/polarity/imaginations.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give mind access because I don’t know what it wants and in give into the insecurity/mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to investigate my mind out of fear that I don’t need to and I do it in spite of what I know.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have not realized or fully understood that I hide my mind in  the darkness, I reverse its function, and that my mind is working for me instead of me for it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear MCS.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have not realized and fully understood that I know a lot about mind that most people don’t and that this knowledge is important.

 

please use my recipe of self forgiveness on points within yourself

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself………..

 

enjoy breathe

 

Day 705 – Day 12 – Sunshine

Day 705 : Day 12 : Sunshine

good-morning-sunshine-254328.jpg

 

Day 12 of 21 days of walking with self forgiveness

I will take on the challenge from my brother : Gian Robberts on walking a 21 day trial of (only/daily) self forgiveness on points. I will walk these points of self forgiveness for self/world change during 21 days.

 

Here is Gain’s Blog :

http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.no

21 days of self forgiveness on key points.

The points will be that kind of relevant points as of this world and our living.

Money, sex, politics, work, religion, mind  and so on.

 

Day 12: Sunshine

 

Please read loud for best effect

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to curse the sun for not allowing me to stare at it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stare/gaze at the sun and feel the energies on my body going into mind and metaphysics and making the experience of sunshine into a unreal situation and like a holy or blessed moment within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make sunshine into more than what it is like a thought, imagination, metaphysical or religious meaning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to not get enough sunshine.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think we deserve sunshine for our harvest of grass for our animals  for the winter:  here at Hogganvik.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how people have been deluded by each other and by mind to make sunshine into something mystical and sacred / powerful and religious making it something else than what it is and creating be – lie – ves between our self as humans, and the sun(shine).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be – lie – ve that there should be two sons, one white and one black, to best balance the human mind and experience.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like mysticism and religion have corrupted and betrayed humans and life and particular in the later “capitalistic times” have people become more obsessed with pushing their be – lie – ves to another and to impose be – lie – ve structures to another and to simply pass on the sins from the fathers and the lies of the past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to desire to live somewhere there is lots of sunshine opposing to live here where I live now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am quite a loon for imagining two suns on the sky one white and one black, like yin yang and that is really how it is meant to be,  we have simply been fooled and deluded and that is why polarity is such a big deal and so complicated as of today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people, global warming and human created chemtrails and  humans who try to control the weather, to judge and blame people, when they are only programmed / robots acting out.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think there is not much wrong with directing or guiding weather, like to have rain in Sahara is a nice thing – but it is being tested and abused, typically for military  reasons and that is not ok.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I must do more to get more out of my days, while it is summertime and forgetting how dark and cold it is during winter, going into stress of thinking I must do more in my time here & now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see how Lucifer is called the devil from the light/sunshine/fallen angel like the light is the disease from old consciousness and white light construct where I accept and allow shit to go on within my mind, how we all need to fall like Lucifer to ever learn something in our life, to correct ourselves,  while having my consciousness eating me up from within calling this process/cancer for “the devil” which is yes the light and also my accepted and allowed consequence of design from the creation of me and my mind consciousness system back in history/creation.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I need to fall like sunshine in my process of correction, to see my faults, to embrace and forgiving myself and to live the change/correction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to ignore the pivotal point of falling and falling like a angel/light/Lucifer to the ground like we fall and tumble in our mind /box and how we struggle with our mind psychology and how it is from there rigged, abuse and commercialized and corrupted for all and everyone to see but until now; we have not been  able to act on this, until this time of self forgiveness.

9995a4c56558d1228e9828f5beb1f1f8.jpg

 

 

 

Day 678 – marginalizing my schizophrenia

 

bord

Living with schizophrenia you soon find yourself in the … rather marginalized parts of society. Or to me this seems like the overall picture and something we all would like to change and heal. But when the overall old establishment is only triumphing away with its insane money system, stress, ignorance, fear/ war systems, abuse etc…  then that is what you get. You get addictions, crime, escapism, drama and psychosis and suffering , from how the old money system is rigged and corrupt to the core and beyond.

Notice that this is all traced back to each and every one of us the way we live our lives according to our very own : mind consciousness system – inn lack of self responsibility, self honesty, real love etc…. the mind consciousness system eats you raw and that is all how we are programmed  – to suit into the system – to like it,  accept it and applaud it. We are forced to like it and approve it from our upbringing and our programming and schooling – because hey: our parents did not know any better either. They where programmed to. There are solutions to this mind consciousness / maze we are inn – if you ask me I would share solutions with you. The solution is you.

 

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2003. I have later studied and understood that I was born with schizophrenia. That is my reality. This is more and more accepted particular in USA  – the blueprint land. The fact that I thought of suicide at age 13 had to come from somewhere and I have traced it back to my conceiving, and my reincarnation process/ my creation – when I was just a fetus. Math of me. I could share a world with you if you care to listen. Things are not what they seem.

 

DSC_0365

 

 

In my 20’s and 30’s I would search high and low for that community and that place to find shelter and care  and compaction, hope, honesty  to be able to live my life with my diagnosis and my experience and my many emotions. I would go into drugging and drinking and the …again marginalized part of society to find meaning and serenity and sanity. When I say the marginalized parts of society I mean the types of places like culture houses, hippie collective, people and institutions that are outside of the ordinary govern-  mind  money rule system of enslavement.

And we do need such places. Such places of anarchy (the perfect order) and a safe haven for so many people.

I could physically not accept that old system of banks, police and govern  – mind etc… It was impossible to me to live with them or should I say according to them. I would oppose them with my everything. Later I learned to trace the origins of these authorities within myself and my mind. All the bullshit/fear/abuse that we see around today, us is traceable back to our mind consciousness systems and our accepted and allowed programming.

I am currently working on establishing self authority. It is all a process to be walked; I welcome you to join me.

 

The ordinary life of .. suppression, ignorance and over all traditions and consumer culture, money system, mass media … you name it.. I had had enough of it. I refused to accept it and I refuse still. I am a politician and so are you : so we damn best live up to it for the  coming generations.  So I would search alternative ways to live. This have led me down many a path, not always safe and sound with what I was getting into still I did it to survive. I would live my life with several addictions and constant suffering and drama where ever I went. I was living like a rocker or a outcast. It was my way of surviving. I was dirty poor, addicted and practically dying or dead from all my voices, and my suffering of mind and body.

From this low down hard lonely and frozen place I was able to hear a message. The desteni message. This was coming through to me in 2010 / 2011. In 2012 I started to walk my process. I committed to the desteni I process. I can tell you for sure that my process have been quite a ride. I am working on my balance with my previous many addictions. I would push myself to reach for that self honest and that realness. To be my own authority. To be directive with myself. I have been on brink of crawling back into myself and into psychosis many times – breathing and grounding myself as breath have helped me many times to stabilize/ground myself. It have been quite a process. From where I was it could almost only go one way. I was so way down dirt and dying. I was at bottom. No questions about it. I could only improve my life from where I was. At desteni you get the truth. There is hardly sugarcoating at all. You are told things that might be painful and disturbing,  but you realize within the core of your being that it is real.  It is best to be told truth on this side of life, because we don’t know what is expecting us on the other side. Best to deal with all the components here in real time. I started to walk my process, and I would evolve and improve my living from day to day. I would have my drivers license back, I would go to work, I have written several hundred blogs about being me with schizophrenia (schizoaffective). I have about 80 vlogs on youtube about my process that I have been walking, with desteni. I have about 20  tracks on soundcloud where I explain my walking and my point of view. Similar on Mixlr.

 

So, I have risen from the ashes, like phoenix the bird. I have gotten myself into the rooms where the new psychiatry and drugs treatment is happening. I make myself heard, with my experience. I am discovering my own directive principle. I am discovering to be the best version of myself that I can be. I am discovering words, to be responsible.  I am discovering to be self honest. I am learning  to  be a leader. I am discovering self discipline and virtue.

I am like a child again.  Because with desteni I process I learn to take away the  energies and the psychology that are holding me back from life !

 

My process right now is about my be – lie – ve within  a perceived righteousness programming and elements within myself. This might sound  strange to many, but I can repeat that. A be – lie  – ve system/complex of seeing myself as superior or moralistic over others/life and having this perceived righteousness as my bother/pain (this construct is a actual pain within me). You don’t find this in  doctors office… only at desteni do we go so deep within the human mind and consciousness experience – and bring it back into physicality and practicality. All of it. Into living words and applications.  Oneness and equality.  It is with accuracy, self honesty and responsibility, I am able to direct myself to share this with you from my walking.

This is who I am today spring 2016 – walking out of be – lie – ve / perceived righteousness. How are you doing yourself ?

 

morningsurf

“morning surf”