Tag Archives: love

Day 795 – Relationship patterns within me/self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have second thoughts and to practically want to dump the relationship when it gets hard within facing some challenges and to have a plan B, a extra girl that I could go into a relationship with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I don’t really want a relationship, I want just the sex and good times the rest can just be, and within this fall back on old patterns of using girls in relationships as objects.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not want the hard parts of a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not know what a relationship is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think a relationship is like “Friends” or “Sex in the city” or any typical TV show or magazine picture that is 100 % fake news – on what a relationship is about.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to trust in TV and Hollywood/whatever lifestyle on what is reality and how things work, living in a bubble, that has no match, it is simply no-good for relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have not defined a relationship to myself, how I would realistic want it to be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can not value or appreciate a girl since I have schizophrenia.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to commit to a girl, out of fear of what I might say or do that would expose me and leave me vulnerable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be honest and to fear to be me, open and vulnerable.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am not mature enough to have a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad and sad for how I have handled relationships in my past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as an abuser of relationships.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate myself or the other being.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not value life as I would like to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not appreciate myself and give myself space.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect someone to love me when I don’t love myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect someone to like me when I don’t like myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect someone to want to be with me when I cant be with myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to open up and communicate on all levels of me to a partner.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that money solves all issues with a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that sex solves all issues with a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that imagining, nice fluffy words, imaginations and projections is any good for a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to believe that Netflix/HBO solves and saves a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to……….(you can fill in on your own terms; self forgiveness goes beyond relationships)

 

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self forgiveness has the best effect : when spoken out load – like self communication

enjoy:

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

Day 699 – Day 6 : Love

Day 6 of 21 days of walking with self forgiveness

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I will take on the challenge from my brother : Gian Robberts on walking a 21 day trial of (only/daily) self forgiveness on points. I will walk these points of self forgiveness for self/world change during 21 days.

 

Here is Gain’s Blog :

http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.no

21 days of self forgiveness on key points.

The points will be that kind of relevant points as of this world and our living.

Money, sex, politics, work, religion, mind  and so on.

 

Day 6: Love

 

Please read loud for best effect

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to view love as a trap that would mess me up.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to place trust in love only to be disappointed later on – every time.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to live and manifest and change the word love into the word live, as the word love is a polarity and the opposite of fear. So you can’t have one without the other no matter how much you like “love” and all that (ego bullshit), love must be redefined to live or else abuse and fear is all you get from the polarity/consequences.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become irritated and bothered, and fearful by people who claim “natural” or “sacred” or genuine and “real” love – that keep pushing their agenda and their ego – that is the real danger of this world and I must look out for them as they would deceive me and you, where I see in clarity how we need to “live it” and not “love it”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear love and to reject love.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see how “love” is treated on social media with hearts and pop glam – all sorts of fake bullshit and brainwashing to make you consume more goods and to NOT live responsible.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to how I feel like a unpopular person with talking about turning down love and for thinking that people who are obsessed with the word love is obsessed and that they are the real danger of this world to not se with real eyes that love is a polarity of a “needle/pin” construct that is real hurtful and abusive, and how I can’t say many enough times that the polarity of love is fear and you can’t have one without the other – time to become responsible and live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that people who claim on to the word love is trying to avoid and bend the natural laws of this world and to push their ego and their bullshit with claiming real love exist when it don’t – it is about to live – not to love as the love polarity construct turns into abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel disgrace form the parental love I had when I was young.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to tell people about this as I fear to be unpopular.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to remember how I was with a girl and we where dating and I was trying to live the word “love” with that special one, totally living in the bother and  game of polarity that was fucking with me – where I was face to face with the fear as the opposite of love which is fear and how I never understood how to handle love since love have been wrong all my life – and how my relationships mostly ended because of the polarity and the game / energies of love and fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it hard to ever find a partner again as I fear to be tempted by desires and energies to be pulled into the deceptive love and the game of love/fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I was hardwired/programmed to follow that trap of love everytime I was dating – it was my programming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my mother or my grandparents or anyone in my growing up that love was something worth of appreciating or to care for, when it was all a game and energies/polarity.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that Kryon refers to the word love, where we (humans) have not yet redefined it to live and we must do that with our thoughts, words, and deeds. The old love is to live – time to release self from the polarity play of love/fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize more and more that people who serve love is the greatest treat and they should be in mental hospital as they serve fear indirect/direct from the polarity and they should be in therapy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to state again and again to myself that love need to redefined to live – plain and simple – that is what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge people who talk about love as they are pre-programmed and living lies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and moralize over people still living in pre-program and how they are living lies and living in abuse without understanding.

 

Thanks

 

I live you; inn oneness and equality

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Day 540 – 1969 Woodstock

How I become emotional from watching Woodstock – videos/music on youtube.

Woodstock music festival, was first and originally held in the town of Bethel, New York, from August 15 to 18, 1969. There where artists like, Joni Mitchell, Jimi Hendrix, Grateful Dead, Joe Cocker, Janis Joplin and many many more. The videos and in particular the music from this festival, from you tube, I have known before and after this festival as a celebration to peace and love and freedom. It was a festival that today is thought upon as a part of the liberation of drugs and of the so called “hippie” or love and light – movement and with having no clothes/restrictions or simply colorful clothes, and a idea that we all need love and compaction to cope with this life. Who would not get emotional ?

The 1969 – Woodstock movement is today, 46 years later, making me emotional every time I think of it. How is this possible ? I think of the aging of the teenagers that where there then. It could have been my parents. I picture their life spans from 1969 and to – today inn 2015 – and what happened in between was just a breath of air. The movement of those days where emotional in themselves. They where challenging the system that we lived in. People like Joe Cocker, who just died this winter, had a certain believe and this certain conviction in his life, and under thus 3 days in 1969 in USA he and others proved that the world could, possibly, change. Into a more open world, or should I say possibilities where made where more people could see that, we do not need military and war, we can live without milllitary and war. It is a possibility and we should NOT let this possibility pass us, we should build down the military. We should eventually remove it. It is something that we needed to bring into practical reality. Today. Our children and our future depends on it. We can start building down the military today. It is a option. Let’s make it real!

I still become emotional when I listen to Jimi Hendrix or Janis Joplin, or Joe Cocker. Why? Because I still see that we need to take love into a further practical reality. And melt all the guns and the bombs. Work is love in action said, Khali Gibrain. It is time to bring a further practicality to life and to build down the world grid structures of military complexes. We need to look at possibilities for military to be deleted and to be vanished. For good. How do we get there?

It is like I am reminded with the music and the posters and the videos from the Hippie movement this warm and fuzzy feeling, through my body, that I am a part of this world and that love is some of the very reason why I am aware and will do what is best for all at all times.

It is this feeling that goes by the name of “Love and Light”, that I bring me to that point of a conscious or a awareness, and then, I am reminded that 40 % of the world population do not have a ordinary toilet. I am reminded that 80 % of the world population is living for les that 5 $ – a day. And this could all be simply solved, through re directing money from military and war – bullshit – into a means tested income to all people in all the nations. It is doable and it is affordable. USA spends 700 billion – or more – on military annually. There is more then plentiful for all to have a fair share. There is abundance for all.

And the USA should defiantly go first and talk to Russia, China, France, UK, Italy, India, Pakistan, and others to build down the military. It is a possibility and it is a world solution. It is best not ignored.

We can live in a world without military. No man should under any circumstances be able to shoot and /or kill another man.   That should not be a possibility. It is possibility to live on this planet without going to war. It is very much doable. I have studied this for some time now. And I have found this one very conclusion. The inequality gap of mankind is the reason of the sickness of mankind. A unfair share and unfair dealing of all the money is the reason that wee se that there is sickness on this earth. It is inn reality the money. I kid you not.

We need to start taking down the military structures. This world cannot take too much more of this torture. And we will not let the greed win. Not at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become emotional and depressed when I hear about the 1960/70 Hippie movement and in particular the Woodstock festival, that I would relate to as this “defender” of love, or of a as the key to bring love further, and to bring love to a more tangible and understandable and somewhat more meaningful purpose where I would think of that the generation that is two or more generations older than me, including my parents, that I would recon like I own something to in debt to them, or like I would simply admire them for opening up the “Pandora’s box” and learning me to think outside the box and to listen to my inside and to myself and find common sense, when I realize that it was all a imagination in my head, from where I created this idea or conviction, that the hippie movement/people are somehow closer or more related to the phenomena of love than others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of the individual processes of Joni Mitchell or Jimi Hendrix or others that where simply, of the audience back then, and I would think thoughts like “you are special because you where at Woodstock” and “You are unique and special” kind of thoughts, that I would place with the individual from these days with the Woodstock movement 46 years ago where I see that I simply worship the stars of yesterday as I do with the stars of today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that this generation that where in the 20 and 30 those days are now in the 60’s, 70’s, and 80’s and older, where I would think that I would own to them to bring love closer to … self, to target and to make military into nothing and to have war to stop existing, where I would think that I own it to them, the older generation to make this life into a better for all and perhaps most to the coming generation: to the children, because we did wrong and we can correct our self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the warm and cozy feeling that I get from listening to the Woodstock music and to look at the hair and the colorful clothes that they wear, that I would think to myself that those where the days, and I would think to myself that I own something to that generation and those people that where participating with that movement.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am doing a continuation of that work that was done back then with the Hippie generation that I see is just another, for me to consume more and that is used as a reason to spend more money on stuff that I do not need, based on commercial and consumerist world religion.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel emotional over listening to some of the artist from Woodstock days that I would consider to be very gifted musicians and artist that I would think of as myself and what I do in my life as a follow up from this engagement and from this point of view to bring love into action meaning the work that I do when I write and share like this, here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that me with my friction within my mind and the life that I live within so without is the continuation of war in this world where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the friction I have against war systems and complexes, where I see that I am simply poring on more gas to the fire and not doing what I can do in my practical physically here, to breathe and to be aware of myself in every way within so without as who I am every day in every way.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad or sorrow from the early deaths of Janis Joplin and from Jimi Hendrix and others, that one can presume or proof that were murdered by some agents, that would get me further “down” from thinking about this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that justice must be served with these early and suspicious deaths from these famous people, where I forget that al life is equal and that for instance 8 million children disappear from the face of earth, every year without anyone in particular, care to investigate about that.

When and as I see myself going into emotions over listening to any of the known artist from those days, and I simply go into feeling bad or emotional, I stop and I breathe. I realize that I should rather enjoy that music and I enjoy that musical arts from then and from today, and be aware of what I am listening to and be aware of things like programming and how I react as a effect from listing to music. And live into the music and simply enjoying it or I really give into myself and I give in my energies and I would be sort of flowing with the music. I realize that I categorize the music from Woodstock as something “special” and something fundamentally cool, because I like it, where it is bring in me to this point off needing to change or leading to a paradigm shift of the world system, or of world construct that I would encourage to change because we need a shift in many element of our living and definitely most in how we share money. I commit myself to be a part of that system that shifts from military and corruption to sharing and love that can help both humans and earth and nature and to be that change in life that I would like to see with others. I commit myself to investigate what music does to me, and how I can be aware of it. I realize that I have addicted myself to emotions.

When and as I see myself listening to the videos and at the tunes from Woodstock festival, or similar “old” music. I stop and I breathe. I realize that I am programmed to feel emotional from these videos and these tunes, and I realize that I have reacted with emotions every time, I listen to it, and it is programmed within me to react emotional and to sort of slip into my old habit of doing weed and drinking again. I realize that I am living my pre programmed reality of who I have been and who I was thought to be before. I realize that I was thought to act in this certain way from my old environment that I would be thought from growing up and what was cool and what was not cool. I commit myself to let go of the old pre – program design and habits and emotions. I commit myself to listen and enjoy music as I go about. I commit myself to a further awareness of what I listen to. I commit myself to be that changing piece of environment that is acting freely and dancing when I would like to and I would do just that; dance and sing when I would like to.

I commit myself to work for ending of all military and all war systems with what I do every day. I commit myself to end all war within so without. I commit myself to what is best for all.

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Democracy against war now: https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

The best immediate alternative : http://livingincome.me/

Living income guaranteed porposal: http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal

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