Tag Archives: life

Day 807 – talking at university – expanding in self trust

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A week ago I did a talk at a university. I was invited to talk from my background and history from schizophrenia and psychiatry. I enjoy such things very much. To explain how I experience schizophrenia and how I reason and manage my living in the system.

I did in total 4 talks to groups on 5-8 people. It was very pleasant and I was comfortable – doing my thing. The words to describe my schizophrenia, psychiatry along with a good dose of existentialism, made the students very content it would seem.
So this is simply a tale of me giving quality, back to society. I did remember to follow the advice of my friend who has experience doing similar things, to not go into the polarity high after doing such a talk. To avoid that high pitch – that is not real anyhow, it is just like a drug and there for suppressing of the real me. That was my big challenge and point right there, for me to remain grounded, and stable in my body was the big deal. It was not always easy, but all in all I managed very good. The day strolled along with me directing it. So you can say I just did my job – nothing less – without me going into that high, energetic, imaginative, energy ride. No I chose to remain grounded and in responsibility with myself. I chose to take direction my living both during and after the talk. I would remain calm and directed. Instead of high and “energized”.

There is lots of math to this equation, many things to learn about energies and the physical. I will not go into that here, but I will tell you that we have been living lies. It has been and it is a world in reverse – this we know both from within and without.

If you are interested in learning about energies – please leave a comment saying so.

 

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Self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel tempted and addicted to go into a high, pitch feeling, like a sugar experience, from how I was happy and content with my talk at the university thinking I must go into this “high” – simply because that is what people do.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I was wrong to feel simply grounded and here in my body and to stabilize myself in the physical (which is negative of math) and to think inn backchats that I was wrong to just feel that quality and comfort of being stable and directed within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge others who do the same kind of talk like me and to think that I am better than them because of how I act – not in the energy high.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like to riddiclue people who have a drug and psychiatry background, like I have, and to judge them for taking on the polarity high – which is the same as taking a drug mathematically – it is possible to change this math – I am living proof.

When and as I see myself doing something where I feel a urge to go into a energy high – feeling. I stop myself, I take a breath and I slow myself down.

I realize that energy high is how so many entertainment stars (music etc) go into drugs and illness, to maintain that “look” of positivity that is simple a lie and a scam against life.

I commit myself to be real and stable in my body. I commit myself to that stable, directive, organized, structured and calm self that I know I can be – also at the same time daring to be a clown and a bit crazy and a colorful artist/myself.

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support
– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

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Day 805 – Simple stamina

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In my process, from consciousness to awareness, I am investigating lots of things on my way. I expose and investigate, explore, breathe, ground myself, realize, pay attention to and consider and dive into….. to be able to do this without going into possession and obsession of simply metaphysics and thinking and reactions in my mind… I have to have a common denominator. A purpose higher than me.

That purpose is equality and oneness. This is my purpose that I hold higher than myself. And I need that life code more than very much else. Because as I investigate and search and study and participate and challenge myself, my mind is exposed to lots of dimensions and constructs and also metaphysics.

There is a saying that goes like this: “investigate all things and keep that which is good”. And I do my best to follow that. I investigate all things and keep to me, to life, what is good. Everything else that does not support life I strive to delete, forgive and discharge within self. And that I have developed into a comfortable structure to live by.

I do my best to read myself every day, to see where I am at, to discover myself. And a key point in my process today is to understand or define who I am between moments and who I am between breathing. So I see into me (Into-me-I-see/intimacy)  And I try to see who am I between breathing, between moments. A part of me is this humble and dedicated, committed worker bee, that is persistent and persevere and that will not give up. Working to explore myself and existence. Discovering me. I can also be quite colourful and expressive almost artistic like. I do strive to be more organized and structured in my application.  Integrity is also a word that shows itself. There are also some bothersome things, that I am working on to get over, like fear even paranoia and judgment, sometimes comparison, blame and stress. These emotions I am less and less dependent on as I progress in life process.

 

Within this process that I then walk to discover myself, I keep to consistent and daily application. To stamina, to keep it simple.

 

“Simple stamina” – to keep process simple and also inn stamina – they very much go hand in hand. Also it has that beat to it lol…. like a pop song like just do it, jump into it. I very much like the combination.

Let’s dance to simple stamina… you & me !

 

Simple stamina. To work with words in such a manner that you can make them your own. To redefine and live words. To change the given reality. Right now simple and stamina are my words.

 

You see we all live words 24/7. But most of us don’t know how we are living in emotional or negative words, from memories, limiting and disempowering words, from pre-programming. Words and memories that act like tripping wires, that are stored in our bodies. This is how most of us are living limited versions of self. This comes from the past, the parts of one self that has not been dealt with or forgiven within properly. All the details – which is a lot of details. This leads to the abuse of life, which will not be allowed to continue.

 

Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have a accepted and allowed myself to think I have covered all my limiting or negative word and that they are all gone, when fail to realize that that there is always something, some dimension for me to work on there is still some friction/reaction of mind,  and I can still evolve and alter myself more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make process more complicated more massive and complex, thinking it is hard – simply by doing so making process more difficult, failing to live the word simple in the totality of me.

I forgive myself that I have a accepted and allowed myself to relate and judge myself within this word simple is a negative word, where I look at the Norwegian word “simpel” – which means “less” and “poor” maybe even “bad” or “sorry” translated.

 

Commit myself to redefine this word “simple” and to change myself as it.

 

For more information on living words se SOUL or the desteni forum on living words !

 

Enjoy !

Day 803 – communication

Opening up the word communication

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This word communication is rather interesting. First I would think to myself that it means  two different things. One is to talk or read and train ones cognitive ability as well as ones speaking and sounding. So one is the writing, reading, listening, sounding and speaking of text and words. Also It means to travel or move objects/people.  I can send a package from Oslo to Rome – and by that communicating between Oslo and Rome. A function operated by humans that are … agreeing to make so happen.

 

So it seem like there is this notion of  something to trade places. Object of substance that change location, either in physical (matter) reality or with information, energies and …words.

So two people that are talking, expressing with speaking and body language, are obviously communicating, but what is it that changes location/placement in such ? To  a very far degree I would say (today) that it is projections, energies, imaginations and pictures. To talk using metaphors. To use the mind and imagination. Which is in itself ok,  though it is not real. With real I mean physically, matter, here and solid. The usage of only metaphors often lead to much misunderstanding – within communication.

 

So this word is to me multiple in extent. By reading the time the buss arrives on a screen I am taking inn information and communication. With talking on the phone I communicate often through pictures and imagination, that is hidden or stored in the words that is used during the talk over the phone lines – from programming and energies within the being. Or talking to my neighbour while standing on the lawn, also using pictures more active using expression of my face and my hands and body to express, and then communicate. And if I ride with the buss between  location A and B, I communicate so.

 

So it is much to do with both expression, movement and transfer. When I during talk to my neighbor in the lawn, and I hold a hand at my hip, I am symbolizing something to my neighbor. If I start waving my arms I would maybe signalize that I am very stressed or angry. This is signals that my head/brain/mind sends to my arm (from unconscious or subconscious)  So then also there are signals and a program running in the back. I would place my hands on my hip, from having seen others do that before me, and learn that it means some sort of pride or firmness or stability. I would have known so from watching my parents, siblings, others, movies, etc. What is referred to as programming – which is massive. And the screen that lets me know of the information of the buss, is also a program, of a computer, like the human mind.

 

So this communication of mine, on programming, mind and computers lets us know that the essence of communication is centered and stored within the human. It has lots to do with expression and voicing of self, and how we are taught. And a very great deal about relationships. Who we are and how we express our selves to others.

 

So communication is quite a huge topic.  It seem that communication is mostly signals and electricity being passed from A to B, my brain/mind/programming telling myself to move my hands to my hip, or the driver of the buss physically moves the buss by operating the buss, systems, or the operator of the screen that holds the information of the buss is programming and typing in the info that the traveler needs. Or how I my fingers are told by signals to type in this very text.

 

So this is my initial awareness of the word communication.

Let’s look at it more creative and try to open up with the word itself.

 

common / – what is usual – what is normal practice,  I /- me the I person,  cation /- creation

/common creation (?)

Common also opens the door to the word communism

So let’s open that further

/come you what is on

/come on can I say some

/open mouth and say some

It is like something within us that needs to express, like something within us tells us to TALK lol… there is this cup, or water, pool, flowing over with info, and we need to talk and express. This overflow or need is often suppressed and denied within the human, this we know, and this suppression and denial of self needing to express, causes, misunderstandings and also conflict/illness that we see all around us. Again:  The usage of only metaphors/pictures of mind, often lead to much misunderstanding. It can be very subtle.

So we flow over with some energy /emotion, angst, fear, judging, blame, depression etc etc … we have a overload within us. And this is very problematic, this we know from our own experience and from watching the news.

So communication is much a human thing – or should I say lack of real communication is a human thing. Animals and plants live in expression, though you might say that a dog will communicate with you for sure. You might very well also say that your house plant communicate with you – though it is not the same as communicating with pictures and imaginations with your human friend/foe.

 

So what is real communication? Communication between humans are currently driven by metaphors, energies, emotion and pictures. It have been like this for some time. The more honest and genuine talk with words and expressions of matter is still not very common. To be physical, to be honest and real, not lost in imaginations, fantasy and mind drama. In other words, today mind is still governing much of the communication. Though this also ruins the communication because it is out of balance. To be able to talk from matter and life substance is not common today, though that is where we need to gain stability.  So to talk in pictures that means angst or depression or addictions, is  still communication – yes indeed.

I would however classify and arrange the figurative/picture (emotional) speaking, in a separate category of communication. A sort of sub-division. Of metaphoric, emotional, energetic/imaginative/channeling  speech.

 

So if we consider the design and appearance, of angst, depression, anger, desire, believes and fear (emotions) we see that the fact that this is prominent with our experience, and inn our communication it clutters up the message to a very far degree. It makes it rather chaotic and not very practical or comfortable at all, to give or receive information and sharing experiences/expressions.

Still my definition of communication is : Life in expression

 

Here is a interesting video on communication:

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

 

Thanks !

 

Day 797 – Learning to know myself as the physical

 

These days I am more and more opening up the level of physicality within me – as my body. This means a awareness, stability and groundedness within my physical body. A intimacy, into-me-I-see. My body is advanced and is processing and changing itself – just like the components of the beeingness and the mind of man, is also complex and are components of who I am with everything what that means.

For a deeper context please investigate these interviews where Jesus talks about redefining the physical :

https://eqafe.com/p/redefining-physical-the-crucifixion-of-jesus-part-109

https://eqafe.com/p/redefining-physical-part-2-the-crucifixion-of-jesus-part-110

https://eqafe.com/p/redefining-physical-part-3-the-crucifixion-of-jesus-part-111

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Because what have the physical been ? All my life I have been living in projections and thoughts, imaginations and mind loops, energetic rides, and not the physical reality. Can you see this? Living as the mind box ?  What I  have been experiencing and living for most of my life,  is the metaphysical, mind, personalities, energies and thoughts. And such have been my reason for defining reality. It has been a long lie. That I have be lie ved inn.

So discovering my body, being with my body, my different parts of me, my intestine,  liver, my heart, being aware of my blood, my cells as one and many, and seeing it all in  a holistic perspective and realization. Slowing down and being with myself  in self support. Enjoying the moment, the plant on my table, the good boot on my feet, the taste of dinner, the coffee, the walk, petting the dog – enjoying life and myself within it. Literally communicating with my body on a totally new way. My body is storage of such a waste load of information, and it will communicate with me. A flue is for instance a way that the body communicates, or a rash, or back pain, all the things that are physical, also sensations and the more “liberating” experiences from for instance yoga or self forgiveness are ways to open up to the body and to communicate with it.

 

For me it is the slowing down and breathing, finding comfort in myself making a self forgiveness statement within myself, or spoken out load. To look into and learn to know my body, to live and act as my body, that is a real challenge. Because the body is my matter of life, and life, is one, equal and one. So for me to live equal and one is the big deal here.  To step by step become real, common sensical and self honest.

You could say that my body is my teacher. Or my master within the trinity of mind, being and body. Learning, expanding and growing with my physical as grounding point.

Me finding the integrity and self honesty to look into my body, to learn to know myself as the flesh, is a big discovery, and it takes time and patience to learn this, and to develop trust within  communication and to live what the physical is teaching me.

 

Basically it is from moment to moment to live self forgiveness in practical terms. To not allow myself to go into reacting and judging/emotions for anything at all. Let me give you some examples of how deep this goes. For instance if I dislike the color of a house, or the way a person is walking or is dressed. Or I judge a tattoo, or I judge  and dislike a picture in the news. It covers anything and all. Literally becoming one with life.

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These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

 

Day 796 – separation of life

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we are all extensions of each other

 

Separation is a highly interesting point. Because as life we are all one. That is a pill to swallow. One. Not two (in separation) – not them or others and ego. Life itself is one. Equal and one. So separation exist. Because of the human experience. This is me balancing myself – bringing me back to me.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give my “will” into the sneaky or calling (somehow) of desire or need or habit/addiction, from the back of my mind, to bring myself to go into separation of myself (physical) as life, from where ever in my body, directed from my mind and patterns, where within this I know that we are all one, the other life form (human, animal, plant, beyond ) is a extension of me, they are from the same origin, like the same as me, we are all equals.

Where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear or dread that it is a human “thing” to go into separation of the self, the physical, by those terms I mean to go into thoughts, thinking, gossip of mind, projections, doubt, angst, blame, etc where, I know that i do not in fact need to go into separation as the separation in itself is self abuse, abuse of life, and self sabotage.

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare to  open up, to expand, learn and evolve as sound, as life without going into the stress, angst, fear for having to prove myself to be of some result that I would imagine is expected of me and then just end up looping myself in my mind/mind fucking myself.

Where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crawl back to my starting point of why would I need to (again) go into separating myself from life (?) where I see and realize and understand that I need to define my starting point and correct myself so.

Within this lies pieces, blueprints and direction of myself stabilizing my schizophrenic mind, me learning self authority and self honesty, me learning to live.

Life is oneness and equality in equilibrium/balance – where are we  ? How are we living ?

 

vivascious tormod

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

Day 794 – What does the Rhino say ?

So today I have been working with mowing the lawn. It was a very decent job and I quite like that type of work. I was able to use my body and to work up a sweat. Which I enjoy !

After dinner and dishes, I went into my apartment where I live, and where I have my computer, and I felt a bit tired, like after having worked well and eaten well – feeling like resting.

So I thought to myself, what would be nice to listen to now ? Music ? Something else ? While dozing on the sofa ? So I went to the online store of eqafe.com where I have a subscribtion, and I found in the animal’s life review section, the consciousness of the Rhino.

That is right; the two sound files, of the Rhinos consciousness was after a few seconds and clicks, sent to me to listen to. It was the Rhino talking about life, the mind, the physical, the beingness and the breathe….

That is where we are at folks ! That is the type of awareness that is out there, at your fingertips, and that we are able to access. Eqafe.com will blow your mind like nothing have done before. Guaranteed. Give time to eqafe – give time to discover self.

Are you ready for this next level shit ? We are moving… are you with us ?

I literally came home from work and dinner, and I lay down on my sofa and listened to the words that the Rhino want to share with humanity. Pretty fucking awesome huh ! If you listen to it: you know deep within, that it is sound, real and honest.
Here are links :

https://eqafe.com/p/the-consciousness-of-the-rhino-part-1
https://eqafe.com/p/the-consciousness-of-the-rhino-part-2

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enjoy !

Day 790 – The reaction game

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Reactions are one of the very core obstacles and points of human psychology and living. It is very much what keeps us in a dead lock position under control of mind. Reaction is that spark, that friction that goes off when we are presented something, we don’t like,  and then we are triggered inside. Reactions are like the effect from something externally that has a impact on us and our psyche. Reactions are, to me, like sparks and spikes that are making friction within my mind. Reactions will always try to validate itself. You would feel inside like the reaction is acceptable. It would let you know that it (the reaction) is right !!

 

examples:

He reacted in anger and slammed the door

There was a gentle reaction in my mind where I would blame my mom

 

 

self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a game of reactions just to prove to myself what reactions are.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reactions over comparing myself and my efforts to others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reactions over thinking this world is lost and crazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reactions over thinking this world is sick with its humans.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reactions over judging humans as bad and wrong no matter.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to accept the design and instrument of my reaction as only that, like it can’t be anything else, than a reaction, and that is it.

 

I realize that my life would be best if there was no reactions and I could just live and breathe without going into any reactions what so ever – that would be nice, and that it is up to me to create this in my own living !

 

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/