self humility
What does it mean for me to be humble with self and with life ?
What makes it so important to be humble in life process ?
I picked up this word “self humility” from a chat I participated in at the popular multi dimensional, internet channel; destonians.com – and I find it peculiar and important for me to investigate the word. I have been living this word for some days now and what I mean by that is, for one dimension, that I can rely on self; as this word. I can “fall back into” this word – instead of falling back into mind (traps and ego) With “falling back” I mean trusting myself and knowing that I have a certain understanding of the word – maybe not the ultimate one – yet, but I am working on understanding myself as this word – to express myself as this word and to redefine this word for me to change, adapt and be a better composition of me totally. To be a better version of me – which obviously is not done over night, but rather a consistent, slowly, step by step, breathe by breathe, forgiving self and living word – process into a better me – a changed me.
So how does this word humility, look like, smell like, taste like – lol – how do I experience it and define it for me ?
With the word “humility” I think of the word “human”. And how I relate that humans are supposed to “do good”, in life, in thought, word and deed. That would be nice – that is the ideal. But that is still not the current reality of this world – among humanity – but then again the reason for me to write this – to change me – to a better – more humble self.
So further than that I would say it adds up to what is best for all. How can I live in practical terms, that which is best for all humans, THAT would be what is good for all humanity. But humanity has lengths to go to fulfill this, to live this – that which is best for all. So there for I make a connection, I build a bridge, between the words human and humility. So humility is for me like a space within me where I can be my own friend. Where I can confess. Where I can look into, investigate, learn, expand, develop, forgive, and come to agreement with myself. Where I can be honest with me. Self humility. To be aware of the self pity dimension though. To be of self support, to be human with me.
Self humility (or humbleness) is the close friend of me. It is a deep expression and point of consideration. So for me self humility is to care for me and others as life. To be that shrink to myself. To be my own therapist. If we add the tool of self forgiveness to this then it’s really easy to see that one in fact becomes oneness own therapist, or mentalist, and best friend, and that is priceless. To reach self honesty and self responsibility, integrity – self humility to merge the expression of humility into self and become one with it. So humility is both to debate, question, consider and investigate, but also to forgive, to show care and accept self.
I do see that I go into a sort of separation when I say that the word is a “friend” of mine, making it an exception from me. But it is only done to show how much I appreciate the word and dimension of humility.
I do also see the point of “humiliating” and that someone could be humiliated from things getting “stirred up” or in typical gossiped about. Rumors. So that is also a further ballpark of this word, for me, and something I take with me. Still though it is the “tough love” to be humiliated. Like there is a lesson with everything. To be humiliated by self – with self – self humility/self care. There also I see self humility as a insurance of sorts that I am aware of my old scars and my minds programming, I am aware of how low I have been, how sick, depressed, and addicted I have been. So that is often where self humility would start. At a low. A deep realizing.
Self forgiveness:
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for not wanting to face humbleness in fear of what I would need to be humble with myself with, to fear being humiliated, to fear what would open up, to fear and basically reject myself as my own therapist, to deny myself that insight and honesty within myself.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be honest with another, in fear of being humiliated, and in fear of gossip and rumors about me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame from thinking I need to be humble with me – and to think that “why” would I need that ? I should manage without being humble and within that seeing humble as weak – and to slow.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into polarity with humbleness where I think that humbleness or humility is weak and poor, little, petty, and down, where I soon find myself being superior and righteous to the situation like I know better than the low/weak humility.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into “self pity” from self humility feeling sorry for myself, and simply dipping myself into that pity pool – where I inferiorize myself and make me into a fool.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am being a “good person” when I live self humility – like I am a “Jesus character”.
I commit myself to with humility to remember to practice embrace me and all of the situations that I am ever in.
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A schizophrenic's journey from consciousness to awareness. In Oneness & Equality! 