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Day 782 – expanding in the life process

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Looking at my current living, where I am, and my livelihood, and how I more or less creative and in consideration define myself to be, I would like to just elaborate on my current process and status. For many years I have defined myself as and within the stigmatizing ground of psychiatry, addictions, and mental illness. I have come to realize that we all, every single fart included of humankind are more or less mentally suffering, being of mind. Stating that I do not close myself into being only psychiatry or that ballpark anyway. How do I define myself today and within walking my process of total change into something more something better and supportive, something of real matter ? It is right there in front of me, like this impression of nature and of detail, and stability, because what am I doing ? I am expanding, including, uniting and cooperating. I discover, reveal and I heal. I learn and I grow. More than anything else. I discover myself, I close down my believes, my fears and my reactions and addictions, by uniting with its origin and life, structure of me is becoming one with the self, and with all that is me.

 

Within here is stored mega bytes of self forgiveness and persistent walking of my process, embracing self as life and uniting, and even creating more of me, what is discovering of my own expression – my living. I find myself more and more in equilibrium with not only nature as I see it, but me, self as life force, and will to live. I more than ever before,  would like to live till I am over 100 years old lol. There is so much I would like to participate with and further create.

 

Today more than ever before, I realize my standing and creative ability and life force. My will to go on with projects, chores, responsibility, daring to be a bit of a “clown” perhaps and taking on new challenges in common sense and self awareness. Many have said this before me that it is the nucleus cell and being of ordinary people, that will eventually change this world – because we change: ourselves, our ingrained patterns and behaviors,  first and become one and equal – physical, responsible as being and life force in where we are.

So for me at the moment it is about nurturing myself within slowing down and taking one breathe at the time, to really get this point of expanding and not falling into old destructive patterns of mind.

Today I notice such a simple thing as not daring to ask for a hug, and to embrace self completely, as another, would sort of bring me down, and I know that I could “take on a clown suit” and simply ask bluntly for a hug – and I would be granted so.

Time to embrace the clown from within huh ? To nurture and grow as a playful clown – myself. To rediscover play (and fun) in my daily life.

So in a way it is also about daring and taking that initiative. Being brave sort of. So that I can continue to walk and make progress and learn as I go. Grounding is perhaps a word I am seeking for.

Either way I am proud of who I am today, I have a level of integrity and self respect. I am someone new at the same time reborn as self in the physical. I live to suit the support of life and to expand myself on all areas of progressing and sustainable creation.

Realizing just now, sitting here typing in front of my screen, that, I have had a long history of being for instance dyslectic. I have still difficulties with writing  by hand – and reading it later. School was not my thing lol. But I will not blame the system – because the system is me. I created it. Together with for instance you. So it is a process of uniting, embracing and forgiving, bringing back to self all parts that I has separated myself from and made into mind fucks and loops, recycling the mind junk. Today I embrace it and bring it back to me- to oneness and equality.

 

Thanks for reading !

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

Day 781 – Dragging along old mind junk – mind recycled

Dragging along old mind junk – mind recycled

Who am I as a creator ? What do I truly create ?

Something that I was recently made aware of, and that I in self honesty also knew of, is how I drag with me old mind junk, and mind data from the past that I would like to say that is gone and that I am done with – that is still here. Some of the old dominating systems of my mind. Things like “self judgment” and “fear” – systems. These two buggers in particular.  Some of the very dominant system that we as humans carry. These systems, have very deep seated roots on the humans experience. And people walk through life without properly dealing with it. This has effect on life as we know it on earth today  – as well as for the afterlife and infinite existence of humans. Now, I have tools to work through this, I know how to heal and how to work through this and … literally I know how to change. It is only myself who is responsible for not changing. I have self forgiveness, self honesty, living words, breathe, etc, and I should know how to balance this by now. There is no excuse for me to not change.

 

Still my mind programming is heavy. And in this interview of Annuaki he explains how this responsibility is mostly missed by humans, that we are not creating for real – we drag with us old systems, still.

So these two systems, self judgment and fear, are poking me like crazy. And they should – because I should not need to be mind slave within such a equation. Thing is that I see that my consciousness is recycling itself like it did before. Making old problems new again, “making suffering great again”…lol…within mind,  making fear into anger, and self judgment into blame and so on. So I must stop it and alter – create a better reality.

 

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self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drag on specifically fear and self judgment, where I think to myself that some of the things I have done is unforgivable to myself as a being, and that I would think in my mind that me in my afterlife/reflection would not be forgiven, by my beingness,  for some of my deeds/thoughts on this earth, missing the picture of how I let my conscious mind dictate me into thinking “I am not good enough” – “I am not forgiven enough”, “I can’t do this” and ending up in fear and in self judgment – mind systems recycled.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a moral obligation to drag with me fear and self judgment thinking everyone does this and so should I, not seeing or reflecting on how the word “moral” in this world,  protects the very abusers (religion, war, government etc), and within so I am not better than anyone else, for dragging with me fear and self-judgment like emotions that I am eager to give away, and look into my beingness/awareness, and how I need to dump & delete these emotions once and for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to undermine, the thought that  I can make a drawing and a picture or some arts about me leaving “my old emotions”, and systems behind and not fully seeing, how drawing and arts it could assist me in quantifying my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it fascinating and yet disturbing to see how I find it very hard to dump of me, these systems (fears, self judgments) and at the same time how eager mind is to pick it up and  recycle it into my living/suffering.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fascinated by my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to give my mind direction, and a “occupation”.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I had not been able to see or fully realize and comprehend, that as long as I drag with me the constructs/concept of fear and self judgment, my mind will know so, detect so,  l and it will make a big thing/addiction/suffering/recycleling out of it – since both fear and self judgment  are mind based systems.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the desire to see into my fears and my self judgment, like  a desire to see it diminish and disappear,  like to kiss it good bye for good where I would indulge in memories and my mind would catch up with me and “boom”… the mind systems are recycled.

 

When and as I see myself going into re – inventing fear and self judgment, I stop myself, I take a deep breath, and I slow the fuck down.  I have come to realize that I must know my fears and my self judgments – and from there “weed them out” from a distance. To see them, within self, to alter within self and change as self so that awareness/focus/reality is something else, and not fear, and self judgment. I realize that I have all the tools I need to get through this, I must simply slow down and find myself stable and ready to create best for all/best for  me solutions.

 

I commit myself to be with my tools, and my support to give myself chores and creative tasks. I commit myself to stay busy, creative but slow and commonsensical.

 

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These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

Day 763 – physical aware

How I am more physical aware than before

The basics of my physical awareness living

faceyoureonwn

I am more physical by focusing on my breathe. First point, 24/7 breathe awareness. Then bring everything together with that breathe, and be one and equal to everything. HAH ! That is a challenge of a life time lol.. so it is a purpose higher than myself – it is still good. I mean look, the way we treat each other and this mother earth, we need something that is greater than our self to reach for. Not like a believe, but practical for the body/physical,  so… equality and oneness is the perfect match. Codes of life.

So breathing in awareness. Inn and out. I breathe inn; I embrace what is here, I breathe out I express myself.

Then, from long time practicing self forgiveness/embracing self completely, once reaching that state of not being in separation, being here, not feeding the thought/paranoia/mind.

The thought and the mind is what keeps this old slavery system/matrix/mind together. You see, I have been searching high and low for “the secret” – seeking outside, failing to see that I in  the flesh/physical is the key. I as the physical is the very key here. To bring equality and oneness (heaven) to earth.  To balance a awareness with my physical with living words is a cool way to treat self. When I do that I live in physical energy, energy of the body, like solid, firm, not signals/lights  in mind/head. But a rather calm, comfortable, warm, yet chill kind of sense. Really cool to experience.

Today I started a yoga practice. I will do this for some time to see what are my effect. But I must say that it is very important to be able to let go of thoughts and thinking of the old mind. I will always carry my mind in this life, but I don’t want to slave to it for energies/eternity. It does not have to be prominent like with consciousness.

So I breathe and ground myself in breathe awareness, find grounding my physical and balance it all with living and redefining words and self honesty.

When I work out my physical it is the same, though a more prominent focus on self honesty. Like digging dirt, I stay focused on my body in full self honesty. And sort of break it off with living words as well as with breathe awareness.  Without pictures of boobs, buts, beers, cars, weed, whatever pictures or any particular energy that I would slave to mind with. But saying fuck of to energies/emotions sneaking inn on me. Telling my mind to fuck off: I am working with my body atm.  Don’t give mind space/energies. Not with anger/fear but in self direction. Be self in charge from the physical. Calm, directed and honest.

sweat

sweaty from farm work

I can learn to use my mind if I need it but I will not give it free range: no more.

It is a cool job. It works, I am living proof.

Enjoy breathe

dem 7

picture of me and my friend Sunette,  desteni europa meeting, Brussel 2017

Check out the links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

Day 753 – more on the word: organized

more on the word: organized

 

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a continuation from blogs:

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/01/19/day-742-living-the-word-organized/

&

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/03/10/day-749-becoming-more-of-me-expanding-through-living-words/

 

 

today I redefine this word again :

 

organized: have a certain structure, to keep it neat and uncluttered and also to have comfort within ones environment.

I today take on this word, within. A new process opens up with walking with words more on my insides – letting words guide me within, and sorting out more of my thoughts and emotions.  so I can birth life from my physical, meaning I can be a example in my own flesh / body for other people to see and realize/wake up within them self/mind, to live more fulfilling living for what is best or all in equality and oneness.

 

I have been walking now with this word organized for quite some time, and I have grown within this word. I notice that I take my time with such a word and I don’t know if it is because I jump to other words to fast, and act within being unorganized. Or if I simply needed to take that time. I guess it is a  mixture of both.

 

I now see opportunities and possibilities as well as response – abilities open up for me with walking with this word on my inside. I find this very interesting and fun to see with my real – eyes. To be intimate (into – me – I – see) with my body.  I think I will take this gradually and really mature within this word.

I go through my day with all sorts of things going on within my mind. Self judgment and certain emotions like angst, or depression,  and I take out and look at how I can live this word organized in such a relation to disturbances like emotions.

My mind is a reflection of me. If I am in my nature grounded, stable, firm and  organized, THEN my mind with be the same in return – to me. It is basic math, that goes to prove the equal and one relationship that one have to develop within ones being (body).  I make most of these realizations from working physical with my body. That is where I nurture my awareness – the  most.

 

Meaning …….. you might not have seen the last definition yet !

 

For more living words and how-to see : SOUL

 

 

other links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

enjoy breathe !

 

 

 

Day 667 – who am I & what is real ?

Who am I ?

..and what is real ?

 

(Is Israel real ?)

Fur further investigation of what lies behind the words we/I use please investigate. Here is a link to a you tube channel about words and meaning/definitions (from “Chiron Last”) and here, is a forum who is taking on words in practicality, and here is how to “live” words.  Also check out the link to the new coming: SOUL – school of ultimate living, on facebook.

 

 

I am a human. I am alive. I breathe. I have a birth name. I am physical. I am flesh and bones, blood, organs and skin. I am physical. I live on planet earth.

 

I have been living slaving to mind for more than 30 years. I have been living like robot. I have been living a lie from childhood years. I have been living in pain and in separation as of thoughts and mind and consciousness.

 

You see: all the trouble in this world/word can be traced back to our self – each and everyone of us. And our personal experience and living of mind and in our metaphysical individual reality/living.

 

I am a delicate balance between mind, body and being.

 

I am today taking responsibility for myself. I am standing up for my past, and to correct myself in present/future, inn oneness and equality. I am walking process to forgive myself. I embrace my dark sides and to learn to live again for real in physical. Balancing mind and being. I am Tormod. I am a male. I am living in honesty and I am striving to be the best version of myself that I can be. I am working on not to limit myself. I am taken by living my utmost potential.

 

I will be creative and create/design a word/world based on oneness and equality, where all life is considered – equally.

Creation is equality.

 

I am here in physical on planet earth. I am living breathing. My physical is my guide. My reality of that we are here on this earth trying to do our individual thing. I am here on earth, seeing abuse, separation, war, poverty, crimes, pollution and so on. I am here on earth to do what is best for all. I am here on this earth to be my very best example to others. To spread my nucleus of calamity, peace and consideration. I am here on earth to create a better life for all of us. All of life. I will honor life.  I am life. I life.

 

Reality:

I see physical reality around me. What I can touch, smell, hear, see and sense. And I keep inn my awareness that this is less that a fragment of what is really going on around me, as of metaphysics and psychology/data. To further investigate what is “real” check out this link: to quantum mind.

I am alive, and I will honor life. I will commit myself to do what is best for all at all times.

What is real is what I sense with my awareness. What is real is my awareness.

My awareness is my reality.

 

Thank you !

arty farty

art by: Tormod Hvidsten Gjedrem