Tag Archives: government

Day 616 – Personality of “letting my mind wonder”

I have this personality of letting my mind drift and dream – take control of me. I can be lying on the sofa and reading a book, and then my mind would convince my ego to go “for a spin of thoughts”, imagining and fantasying about socializing intimacy, girls coffee cups, discussion,  desires, meeting and power games, mind games and so on.

This personality plays out like giving into positive polarity my ideas of what to do in a city and who to talk to what, to wear etc… what cool stuff could happen to me, and at the same time, unconsciously on the down side of it I would be suppressing the negative polarity, my history of drug abuse and my many, many girl friends that I have had and so on suppressing the negative making it a harder blow to my guts as I would realize I was fucked over by my own ego, and personality of “letting my mind wonder” – not being responsible.

That is right. I let my mind drift, giving into my desires and then “boom”: ego is in charge as I let myself be suited by consumer ideas, and desires. Typically from dreaming of city life and the business and socializing with being in the cities that is near to me.


What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative – as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.

– June Roca


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into ego thinking “I desire a break/reward” as I lay on the sofa forgetting the easy triggered thought, that would only guide me into more thinking eventually spinning the Ferris wheel and ending up in obsession or possession in my mind over desires or ego/mind/pictures/games/fucks within my head and through my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see that this typically mind game starts with judging and blaming banks & bankers from the scam that they push through every day from there I try to picture solutions and new ideas to the old scam, failing to realize I should do this in real time and talk to people on solution but also first let them know what scam is being pulled on us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself paint the word “corruption, and scam and lies” on the walls of government, church and banking, where I judge and blame the people who work there, that appreciate it, without any further purpose than negativity and blame, making my purpose and solutions harder and more difficult to bring forth in real time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create distrust between myself and the bank, church and government and all though they are different they are all making life harder for us all, and not doing their specific intent or wanted task that is: what best for all, and not just the very, very, very marginalized elite, who corrupt this world through the institutions, of government, church and banking and so on.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I am superior to them or think I should correct them by judging and blaming them as individuals and calling them crocks and thieves from how money is directed by them as individuals through banking systems.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame the individual banker and secretaries and people that work in the banks, when I forget that they simply live their pre-programmed lives and simply are doing their jobs in the bank business, that is rotten and corrupt to the core and out, where I fail to see that the people that work in banks are not to blame they are programmed to the work that they do, I must rather forgive them and bring forth a better solution for instance to the money issue, that can suit everyone; a win, win solution and end all wars.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the saying “Let your mind wonder” – that I find deceiving and lie full, it is not meant to direct me, my mind is to be a tool to me, my mind have directed my thoughts and being, enough, it is time to direct myself and my life, because my mind leads me into ego and that is not acceptable, I must be, in self honesty – in charge of my mind/life and use my mind as the tool it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I had gotten so far that I would not find myself drifting into ego no more; and I would think of myself as so much changed, within myself that ego had no more place within me, where ego has its revenge with me and fucks me over by letting my mind drift where my ego is taking charge and spinning the old Ferris wheel, of thinking and spinning around in thoughts and pictures; to no good at all; simply separating myself into tiny bits of ego/thoughts, creating friction and giving into energies, spinning the wheels within mind into abuse and ego.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think thoughts like the city is so fine the city is so good to me, I like the city and I prefer the city life, where I would drift within my mind and eventually be easy prey to ego that would fuck things over from within myself, and complicate my living and purpose.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to associate Mr. B, with city life and traveling around in the city, socializing and having fun in the city, where I would picture B, reading a book and I would take on a character from imagining what he reads and dissolve/slip into this fiction, like from infinity design, within my idea/imagination of what B is reading and having mind and ego fucking me over from this imagination and games and fiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let myself be triggered by the picture and ideas that B is reading a book where I see I give into the energies and imagination of what B is reading, and I would create this movie in my head of spinning the wheel of picture in my head that would lead me to realize that I was only existing as energies separated from imagination what B is reading and not being present within my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to slip into desires and imagination from picturing what B is reading making his reading into a this romantic picture and failing to be aware off my own situation and awareness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to get lost in thoughts and pictures and energies within my mind escaping myself honesty and my chores by drifting into fiction and dishonesty/mind games.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to realize that it was ego taking over , and that I was being held a fool from ego using my thought to its very own benefits and my dishonesty and accepting of abuse.

When and as I see myself letting my mind drift and taking part in mind games or the Ferris wheel. I stop myself, I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that I only need my mind at certain times, like a tool. I realize that I do not need to live in my mind live a zombie feeding the mind energies, and serving ego, I can stop my mind and take control of it and end the dishonest thoughts. I realize that I can bring myself back to my being and awareness from breathe and self honesty. Into physical awareness. I realize that I could present solution to this world as of banking or churches or government, no problem, and I do not need to judge them, I need to cooperate with them equally and present solutions that are; what is best for all. I commit myself to present solution to all people and to not give up doing so. I commit myself to snap out of fiction and dreaming and fantasying about desires etc and instead make my game physical and to bring change to this world. I commit myself to stop judging and B – laming and rather bring forth solutions.


Check out the links & have a nice day !

Yo listen : https://eqafe.com/

The platform of all the fun: http://desteni.org/

Walk the talk: http://desteniiprocess.com/

Lets walk the easy first: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

The program: livingincome.me/


Day 567 – Living words: decision

Living words: decision

Current allocation:

A decision is to me, like a choice only more important or sort of more “heavy”. A decision is to me something that one makes. One reaches it after comparing and after validating pro and cons and after having investigated the case of study/matter. And out from this I developed a decision. I would think decisions can be very important, I often find it difficult to make decisions, since a decision would lead to a act, or to / not a act. It would drive me into reactions literally, over not being able to reach my decision. I would think that important decisions are often made by old men in suits in meeting rooms and in conferences and in the various, so called, democratic institutions around this world. I would think of a decision for myself would be like should I have fish or meat to dinner? Or decision like should I have a morning shower or not ? I would weigh the pro and cons of the outcome and make my decision. Decisions to drive to the city to a cafe and by a coffee and a piece of cake, or deciding to work on writings like this here, and ; this is a decision for me to write this. Equally I would think that my life would be better if I did not have to make decisions at all. I think that I struggle a lot with making decisions because of corruption and crime made from decisions/democracies in this world.

Dictionary definition:

decision : a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration.



decision (n.)

mid-15c., from Middle French decision (14c.), from Latin decisionem (nominative decisio) “a decision, settlement, agreement,” noun of action from past participle stem of decidere (see decide). Decision making (adjective, also decision-making) is recorded from 1953.

Sounding of the word:

there – sits – John

the – sion

this – is – sion

d – session ( a lot of D -s)


Negative: I would think that too much decisions are made my corrupt politicians, and “hidden” elite people, and this influences me to make my own, bad, decisions in my life. It causes doubt within me. I realize that decisions made by politicians today, like business deals, are based on corruption and crimes and not much at all, of what is best for all. I realize that I as many others, struggle with making the right decisions – because of how I see the crappy decision made by politicians in this life. And this confuses me big time, to make my own decisions in my everyday life and I feel like I am unable to make good decisions. And with me as with many other, I fall into abuse/reactions, like the so called leaders do, and we all make, or made before, the wrong decisions. I realize that I judge myself, both before and after making my decision and that my decision is wrong and bad anyhow.

Positive: I would like to make good decisions for the best of all. This is a word that I would like to practice well. I would like to see positive results from my decisions. I would like to smoothen my decision making so it is easy. Decisions can be done for what is best for all. And for that, we need change from today’s system, and I will stand up for that change and make it happen.

Creative writing:

Decisions is something that we make after weighing pro and cons. From investigating. To consider the question and outcome for the best of all. There are different decisions, like there is different cultures in this world. I realize that we need to change the whole picture of who is in charge of this world and to take away the world leaders of today. Like there is many “Johns” sitting at the computers and at their desks, in front of the TV screen, doing nothing but feeding the mind its energies, and not participating, in the world, not making actual decisions/change, being decided for from media/elite, simply passive sitting and not doing anything at all. They are ruled over from politicians making decisions for them. They are the salves of this world; they are, part of the 99 %.

The many John’s that are sitting thinking only of themselves, in leading positions, that is not for the good of all. The many Johns that are sitting in the different governments, and in the different chairs of power are not doing what is best for all. I realize that it is a cool solution to stand and make my voice be heard. I prefer to stand and be a change – without reacting/violence. I commit myself to the decision to change this picture so that all voices are heard and that no one is left out that would be real decision making and a community based on what is best for all. Decisions need not be that many or that hard like they are today. There would be fewer and fewer problems to solve in a future where everyone gets to speak. Decisions can be made easy, by letting everyone speak, and for the best of all, like with direct online democracy, where everyone participates. Equally. I realize that when I struggle to make a decision I can write pro and cons to figure out what to do and how to act in the given moment, over the question and then, also, slow down, and make my decision, based on what is best for all.

Self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I make bad decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am programmed to make bad decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to make bad decisions and then blame it on the politician from how they make bad decision, in politics – failing to realize that politics is here now everyday all the time in real life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to make decisions because of how I see politician of today make crappy and corrupt decisions that makes me fearful of making a single decision equally in my life, that might sound easy like to visit someone or to go swimming , or take a morning shower. It all becomes so damn hard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I consider it my big weakness to not be able to make good decision at all, and I would start to react within this question of making good decisions and I would judge myself as week and wrong because of how I see politicians as corrupt and wrong, and fearing to do the same myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of the word “there sits John” like, he (John) is a boss or a ruler of some kind and I would think of John the Baptist from the Bible, and how we would Baptize people in the water/river and I align this with how hard it could be to achieve good personal hygiene and to have a clean and cozy home, that is difficult for many, many people, that I would see is relevant for this word and the sounding of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to fear how people in power are really bad leaders and I would fear that they would should “do” much bad decision making, and that their decisions are harmful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to make a decision for myself on the many different things that I can take part in within my life that I would fear to take part in because I would fear the decision making involved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame all the passive “Johns” out there for simply sitting doing nothing in front of the TV and not taking active part in changing this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel a urge to hide and suppress my desire for good decisions within my physical and within my being so that I am eventually ending up with a lot of surprised wrong decisions within me, feeling bad for making wrong decisions over how I would think of humanity and life as one, and think that I would corrupt myself by the idea of finding my answers from my thoughts and my thinking, which I would consider wrong, to go into thoughts/stress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the believe that there is a certain awareness with the “sitting John” like “sitting bull”, that we are all waking up to a new era of time and a change in the wind like Bob Dylan would have said it in his song – and that we are the change we have been waiting for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I find that I need more time to make the right decision in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that in the future we would not need to decide that much because we would live like it was heaven – for all and everyone on this planet.

When and as I see myself, standing in front or a type of question or something where I need to make a decision and I notice resistance/fear. I stop, and I slow myself down, and I breathe. I realize that I need to take my time to make, the very best choice within a decision. I realize that I can write pro and con’s to the matter and to have the mathematical result of pro and con. I realize that I can gather my results from my experience of making a pie chart and looking at what factors that are there, and what is positive and what is negative and forgive for the charges, and release the energy that are charged within the pro and the con/result. I realize that I must take my time with this process of all my choices and my decisions. I commit myself to slow myself down within my decision making. I commit myself to slow myself down, within my decisions, and to take it more easy, and not stress or haste my decision/choice.

For more living words: http://forum.desteni.org/viewforum.php?f=147

Day 512 – Nuclear radiation is a scam

I watched this video and I was quite surprised by what was said and proven. For years and years I have been living in fear of nuclear science. I have bought all the scare propaganda from groups like Greenpeace and Hollywood, through brainwashing and news, telling me that nuclear radiation is so very dangerous. This video and other videos tell a different tale. Now there are radiation from nuclear energy and bomb production, yes there is, but the radiation is not that dangerous as one have been told.

Nuclear science may not be totally “clean” but it is not that dangerous as one first was told from the fear and scare stories from Hollywood and groups like Greenpeace telling us that this is so very scary and bad.

The sun provides, together with wind and other energy sources, totally renewable resources, enough energy for this planet and more than that. We must chose the best solution, which is the 100% renewable energies. Sun and wind power. Nuclear energies is not renewable, at least not to my opinion.

TV and media have scared me enough and many times from even considering nuclear reactions as a way to have energy. That is now settled and I suggest for you to watch this video that is linked here.

And I want to ask of you not to simply give into things that you hear or read. Investigate and find the back ground stories, read it all and draw your conclusion based on what is best for all. Main stream media is growing more and more corrupt. For instance how the white house in USA, now owns parts of the channel CNN. That is simply not cool. There is a lot of stories like this. And we have to evolve and change. Join us in Equal Life Foundation and learn how you can contribute to a life that is best for all. Investigate LIG and have a nice day!