Tag Archives: god

Day 777 – Heart of Matter

Heart of Matter

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a eqafe.com series by Jack

If you want more of Jack : you can check out some of his earlier productions on YT:

History of mankind, by desteni

 

What really matters !??

Here is the interview that I talk about :

https://eqafe.com/p/a-wake-up-call-heart-of-matter

In this very fine interview  (!) I learn from Jack, a inter-dimensional being: (I can tell you more of him if you ask me)  about how I/you can express self more honest, to take more part in life on this earth. For myself to dare to be more lighthearted,  to slow down and be more real (!) – and to really be responsible with my every breathe. That is right with my breathe – who I am as breathe is what is created. You might say “who I am as breathe” –  what sort of language is this ? It actually holds great potential and value. To understand breathe (!!!) which is worthy a life time study, we can look at religion, and the Bible. It tells us in the Bible that Jahve/Yahweh (or God) is the same as our breathe, breathing is equal to Jahve/God… meaning my breathe is equal to God. Now, if this brings up programming of religious believes and polarities, within you – please drop that. Forgive it within self. You see with breathe we are creators. We create and manifest our own reality, and I don’t think it is a good idea to call myself God – though I have creational abilities. In the series of this interview Jack further tells us about how we can create change with our self, right where we are. Right here  & now where we are at: we can create change. You know it and I know it. We can do that extra thing to make the situation and the world just a little bit better for our self and our neighbor.

This interview tells me that I have the possibility to be more responsible, daring, loving, lighthearted, and honest with my word/world, my life and my creation. I don’t want to abuse that awareness… do you ? So this is about documenting self further. To be that living change and to share how,  when and where you or me go through changes. To share with the world ones empowerment. To write, film and capture ones living changes – and share it with as many as possible. Please…. there is no need to criminalize or over – expose self. There are tools and ways to write, express, ones issues without doing “damage”. Your blog might be anonymous.

Point is to get the message out for people to be able to pick up how YOU change. Your insight and experience is worth something to other people. Lets expand and evolve ! We are one humanity – that right there is a awesome starting point !

(for a blog series etc)

 

We all can do THAT little thing more for a greater good  ! Agree ??

 

Thanks for reading, enjoy: eqafe.com

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For more info on life challenges, solutions and issues:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

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Day 740 – we have already been programmed

 

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does it not strike you that all humans almost 100 % equally have a mind consciousness system ?

do you dare to ask why we all have that …system and matrix on our shoulders ?

how where we programmed to carry it in the first place, because it definitely seam un natural and like a metaphysical/extra thing/box rather than physical like flesh, bone and blood of the natural body.

very, very many people call upon mind consciousness system (or parts of it) to be God/religion, and the authority they chose to obey. and fail me not to be atheist is just a polarity of this believe, so we are very much left in the dark to figure things out our self. lucky for us there are signs on our path. and the bible is just happen to be one of these signs.

thing is we almost exclusively chose this existence our self, we might have been convinced and corrupted by energies to take this authority and mind/god to our living and practice over millions and millions of years and multiple layers of existence. there have been far more advanced civilizations on this planet earth. lots of it hidden secrets, and mystery not taken into awareness (or schools). I stand to break that silence.

let’s look at a specific example. from the bible. cain killed his brother able. what does this mean ? (realize that the bible is full of equations and riddles and it like a puzzle to help us on our path to awareness and change)

cain killed able

consciousness killed awareness

so we need to restore and bring forth our awareness – again.

 

so we look at words cain:  cain, ein, one, en (one single)

en + able = enable

enable the awareness

and to be here as awareness is key. consciousness is just a trickery show and “smoke and mirrors” of mind. But don’t fear or despise/hate the mind/box, we must learn to live with it, to make it equal to us – so it can do some work for us instead. if you are into conspiracy and youtube videos, you will see that so many videos (01.01.2017) predict ww3 and catastrophe and mayhem. just like our own old con – sciousness making a con/scam out of us with mind trickery.

realize this, mind is held well and in control by us – serving it energies. positive and negative, like a fucking battery cell of matrix,  energies that further create thoughts, and if you are able to realize that thoughts and thinking is NOT the way to go, you have come quite far, because thoughts as it is, manifested in the physical body is a sabotage and a separation of the flesh/physical. thoughts and thinking is separation of life, and then it gets real easy to make it each and everyone’s task to take responsibility for one self and ones living since, hey, it all boils down to the individual, within mind and who we are as thoughts, words and deed. we know all the secrets and we know the human mind, we have all the solutions waiting for us….all the cool new technologies, just a breath away… but governments and big money is preventing it for all to use it. since they have lots of the tool of money they are corrupted by status q, and we allow it to go on.

 

picture this:

 

all the thoughts that you have or have had, that are nasty or cruel, bad thoughts about others, emotions, and perverse fantasy, imaginations, all the stories that  you suppress and deny for, are representing what ? suppression and denial, yes… and just like that all that data of emotions, are stored and stacked away like,  billions and billions and billions of dollars – kept at distance from your and my pocket, because, hey karma strikes. just like we store away all the bad thoughts and mind bothers, endless numbers of money is kept from our common sharing since the system is rigged like that – , so that only a very, very, very few have all the money – and we all have scraps. I am further one voice to break this also. but how ? just knowing it does not break it… I must clean up my mind, in totality. all the nitty – gritty details and stories that I would not share with anyone – it comes out and up and for studying and exposing, I don’t need to criminalize myself by posting my worst fantasy on youtube, but I can write it out, in common sense and self support,  to myself with pen and paper, in self trust and integrity, to my own awareness,  and share how I did it, and what  I used as  a tool to clean up my mind, which is self forgiveness.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself…..”

 

so to empty the mind its demons and energy constructs, and stop the psychology drama/looping and thinking, self forgiveness my friend.  there is nothing like it of this world. let’s change it all – by starting at home.

we are what we create – so within so without.

 

 

here I am doing self forgiveness on points that opened up during writing this blog:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feel like all I do is pointing fingers at others and not sorting out my own shit, that makes my process like a burden like I judge myself, and ending up feeling bothered and sick from that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the world is not yet ready for self forgiveness, “they” need more wake up calls, more con – sciousness, more consequence –  in the face to wake up from the suppression.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear to use the bible, thinking I am a christian or religious because of it, proving I have a emotional relationship to being religious or to believes in general.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this blog as just one more wakeup doom and gloom  post that is lost in the maze.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that it would relive me from stress and pain to have more money and to have more stuff, failing to realize that the amount of money does not matter, what matter is who I am in relationship to it.

 

– thank you for reading

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http://desteni.org/

 

 

Day 706 : Day 13 : Physicality and God

Day 13 of 21 days of walking with self forgiveness

 

 

I will take on the challenge from my brother : Gian Robberts on walking a 21 day trial of (only/daily) self forgiveness on points. I will walk these points of self forgiveness for self/world change during 21 days.

 

Here is Gain’s Blog :

http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.no

21 days of self forgiveness on key points.

The points will be that kind of relevant points as of this world and our living.

Money, sex, politics, work, religion, mind  and so on.

 

Day 13: Physicality and  God

 

Please read loud for best effect

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my physicality as more or less than what it is:  my body my natural body with flesh, skin, blood, organs and skeleton, within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be lost in the maze of what it represents from how I was brought up to be – lie – ve, that God was a external force and “someone else” except from  me, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need 37 years to learn that my body is my “God”, my temple, my flesh is my God – like the Bible tells us.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame Christians who dare not realize or comprehend that the flesh is the God and, the body is the temple of the trinity of mind, body and being, and that is the answer to the riddle of God: (the math of God)  It is the physicality of man.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame other people why are stuck in thought patterns and thinking/mind with what they very correct experience in their head as “God”, that is a separation, sabotage of self with cutting a very small piece of muscle tissue of to “have a thought”  that entity and tiny piece of muscle is then the experience of a separate “God” entity who is like mighty and powerful from the experience of  mind, thinking, personalities, energies, polarity and psychology.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that just like “God” from my physical, and like the creators of existence, I am unlimited and a creator who can create a better life for all here on earth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to separate clearly between the God and the creators of mankind, and that to understand the complexity of this it is needed to study and investigate the desteni message.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to claim that within this, I don’t need to be – lie – ve in myself or in anything at all really since,  be – lie-  ves are just that : lies…

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I have to share with other people my insight and how I try to tell everyone and also children about my experience and my findings so that they don’t have to go through so much hardness and suffering  like I did to realize this truth.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to talk about this as I fear to  go into arguments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to confront my family with this as I fear to be stepping on their toes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find comfort and calamity with reading the Bible, since now I understand the world system  and it as myself and can read between the lines of mysticism and “hidden” messages.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself  how I would despise and hate the Bible  because I did not understand it, and from school I was thought to hate/fear what I did not understand did wrong would haunt me long after.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to go back to my childhood years of  fear of seeing the moment of playing nude games with my second cousins and within that being caught at innocent play and how this along with my schizophrenia created a deep impact of trauma of sex and sexuality within my physicality and mind programming.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I own something to my second cousins, or anyone else, since I have fond self forgiveness to forgive myself and I would fear that they would be suffering and not have a cure.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have addicted to self harm of my physicality/my body  with burning myself with hot water, as a ritual and addictive pattern to hurt myself and to be punished with self harm.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find euphoria and a “feel good” within burning myself with hot water and punishing myself and to have this sensationalism within this and that it would addict me to self harm.

This harming of my physicality have to end. It have addicted me for too long. Hereby I stop such deliberate self harm, and will not go at it again. I commit myself to not once again harm myself deliberate with hot water.

 

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Day 669 – my beliefs

 

In this world (word) I find one thing more prominent and important, as I go through life. And that is to work on my words. To be aware of words. To school myself all over again and to re – learn and reset myself and my knowledge – most importantly to live the new words, physically and to change. To become a life – hacker. Of living practicing words.

So this word came up BELIEVE. If we investigate this word, we can look at the following BE – LIE – VE. Be the lie (we). It tells us to be the lie. To live a lie. This word tells us (plain and simple) to be, and to practice a lie. That is not optional. That is the clear and naked truth of this word (world).

 

So what does this mean ? Well if I was to tell you that chocolate is better than ice cream. That is something up to you to choose to believe. Or if I was to say that “porn is bad”. That is my believe that “porn is bad”. If we study these designs and origins or words and matter – we find that there is nothing that is good or bad – right or wrong, it is all a lie … be lie ve.

 

To find and realize that there is no right or wrong, right or left, blue or red, god, satan etc.. all this is based on be – lie – ve – systems and programming. All lies. Like the word says.

 

I have for a quite some time been living a lie. I have been living a believe system giving this entity (name) god status in my mind and in my body/being. I have been living this believe system making myself righteous over another people. Granted myself perceived righteousness. I have given into this ego that I know better since I have this (entity) god in my mind and being. Very much like early missionaries or preachers on the street. Telling me that “god is this” and “god is that”. People speaking from a – lie. Plain and simple. Like I did about this entity within my mind.

 

This is not post to bash Christians or Muslims or any other group or identity. This is not a attach on anyone. If you are experiencing reactions – you should investigate the reactions in commons sense. I am simply looking at the word(world) and pointing out to you (?) how it is a lie – in believe. And for you to further see and investigate : I am making “god” out of any entity in my life ? Am I living with demigods ? Am I making Obama god, or this type of cigarettes god (?) or my car or my favorite coffer cup, my caps, weed, movie, book, thought pattern, memory, fantasy, music, idea, theory,  or any believe system behind it;  god or entity (??)

Am I holding a variety of entities in my belonging and possession (?) consuming myself into a believer of consciousness ? Is science my god ? Or my computer ? any person or guru? thoughts ? these are all relevant questions to investigate for anyone. If you drag with you believe system – you will face consequences sooner or later, for your entities demigods and … lies. It have all be programmed into us from our upbringing, school, TV etc…

How to spot believes ? Mostly from thoughts and thinking, or from conviction and personalities. What we base of values on. Our pattern and behaviors. “X told me chocolate is better than ice cream, so I choose chocolate.” You making a choice based on believes, or “I am convinced that there is a God, because my parents told me when I was a baby – and they want only my best.” This is a example of following believes as programming. You parents have been programmed just like the parents before them. Making values, and judging things as “such or so” is typically a belief. “I favor this person over this person” is making judging on basis of believe/belief.

My believes ? I strive to live with having no (!) believes. I strive to live self honest. I want to find myself here, physical without believes. As they are all full and complete – lies. I am currently working on loosing/dumping my believes, of data, psychology. To forgive it and leave it all and not look back.

“There is no truth there is only denial of what is here” – Bernard Poolman

 

It boils down to this: To have a or to live with a believe; is living a lie. Deceive of oneself (others). Plain and simple. Self honesty and honesty is on the opposite of this. I commit myself to leave/dump all be – lie – ve’s and to live in honesty and in specific self honesty. If I have caused a believes with you, I would investigate that. If you carry believes, I would investigate that to. I don’t want any believes what so ever. I recon believes as poison. ¨

Note: this is the time of consequence. If you are living a lie – it is time to deal with it.

 

“You can hurt me with truth – but never comfort me with a lie.”

“The road to hell is paved with good intentions.”

 

asterix

 

 

 

Day 665 – understanding god – self forgiveness

This is a continuation from my previous post “Understanding god”

 

What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative – as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.

– June Roca

http://desteni.org/

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat within my head saying “I am stupid”, “I am dumb”, “I am weird”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear having others read my thought out of fear of being bullied.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to ask questions in my childhood, about “god”, existence of so, and religions out of fear because I felt it as a great taboo.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to ask my parents about god and religions and believes, as I was thought that It was a “off the record” – subject and not to be talked about in normal settings and I did not have the vocabulary to even start talking about it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame myself from deep, deep within of this judgment of backchats, and for suppressing it away below within my physical and my body.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel low like not alive from this backchat of “I am stupid” and “I am dumb”, “I am a idiot” or “I am weird” that I  was participating with in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel helpless and hurt like a “road kill” animal hit by a truck, left crawling in its pity and blood from seeing myself back then being 7, 8 or 9-ish of age living this pattern of backchats/fearing to ask about god, living the pattern today/living the error.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face myself from this programming and fearing to judge or moralize over my parents and my upbringing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to let in the thought “where do you want to go, with your life Tormod” ?, “What are your goals”, that I would feel deep within of emotional burden and blame, and I would along with this thought experience this horrible backchat of “I am dumb” and “I am stupid”, “I am a idiot”, “I am weird”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like waking from the dead from picking up this emotional backchat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fuel my emotions by living this word, “stupid”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to open up the word stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself as stupid.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face my consequences and my responsible self living this programming of “stupid” and “dumb”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it hard , damn hard, to even vaguely understand the brainwashing of people simply living the past programming/sins of the fathers and brainwashing/programming of others/children/passing it on, like I was done to in my upbringing and my past.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bash out and moralize over how people have been living in programming and brainwashing over and over like a fuckings whirlpool – washer machine, going over and over, serving the very same crap/lies over and over again non – stop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a “freak” or to feel different and weird, from seeing how I was programmed to fear, hate and disgrace what was seen as “dumb”, “not smart” or “stupid”, like how we are thought to dislike people with down syndrome, add, schizophrenia or any other “things” that occurs within our lives and in society.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to take responsibility for myself as having lived these words, deep, deep within my past and my physical having suppressed it and lied to myself created believe systems around myself and lying to myself and people around me through these lies of god, not getting it and ending up judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge of moralize of how I was brought up as a child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create this believe system based on how I was fearing to talk of god, and creating a huge emotional pit within myself and living in complete dishonesty and in pain from a very young age.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see what is backchats within this as I was living it so very, very compromised and rooted deep within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to act shocked and scared over seeing how bad rooted this backchat was and failing to see it before the other day, during a kinesiology session.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to “understand” or firmly be-lie-ve in a God, and for always opposing such issue with my being and physical.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to call out in the debt of my being and body, that “God is dead”, “God have never exited”, “Kill God”, “Kill the Ego”etc.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see how “God” is just a huuuge scam (!) and lie – bases on ego and irresponsible and brainwashed people.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I speak with a split – tongue, as I can call out religions as bullshit and at the same time participate in Christian traditions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I would think that calling out the abuse/brainwashing of religious traditions would do more harm than good.

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Day 664 – Understanding god

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I have been living with a emotional reactive pattern from waaay back in my child hood. A backchat within my head, little demon thoughts in my mind, as of present.

From childhood suppressing I live today with specific backchats within my very mind and being. Thoughts/bakchats of blame and guilt, and emotions.

It goes back to being a young boy, and not understanding the concept of “GOD”. I don’t understand the concept of god, being 5,6 years etc… so I start thinking less/inferior about myself. I started this emotional play of being “stupid” and “dumb” to my own awareness. Calling myself a idiot.

This goes into my schooling specifically within the subject of mathematics. I start to do mistakes in school, in math and language. So I see, I drag with me the error of not understanding “god”, into math and language. Doing wrong and spinning in it. Not getting out of it before… 20 – 30 years later; today.

All that pain…

 

I enroll within my characters of being dumb or stupid from school/child programming. I think to myself that I am stupid and dumb/weird/different. And I am terrified at the same time. I am terrified that this should leak out and that people should hear about myself thinking about myself that I am “stupid” or “dumb” from not being able to accept that there is/is not a god. I am shit scared that someone where to know what I tell myself in my thoughts. I tell myself I am dumb and I am stupid in my thinking. This is also at the same time my schizophrenic mind growing on me. And I suppress it all. Deep, deep down within my physical and being. Waaay below. I suppress all this from not being able to live with the fact that I can’t understand or grasp the concept of god.  I see that I abandon myself and separate myself out of fear from being seen by others as different.What fucking’s pity to grow up like that.

I would fear that these thoughts would be picked up by someone else. But it is then that fear; that is visible. It is from this fear of being spotted, that made me into a victim of bullying. Fear is visible. Dogs can smell it. Yet it is a illusion and it does not exist. Just like g..

 

 

Self forgiveness in next post..

 

Day 660 – Schizophrenia and the bible

I started to read the bible some days ago. This world and its rules and design of matrix, psychology and components are very much based on the bible and the christian teachings. I guess that is why we have corruption, separation, fear, rape, murder, poverty, war, and all sorts of crime and abuse. That is not the only reason – but you get the picture… I started to read the first books of genesis. It is quite stunning to read. How it is designed from ones directive principle, to entwine oneness consciousness into the text and feed oneself with the words and concept of the bible and the books of genesis literally brainwashing while reading it. These books are filed with insanity, manipulation, psychology and crime. To put it short.

 

Some hours later I started to hear thoughts or a voices in my head. Like demanding voices and orders within my mind and thinking. It was not a cool experience. I was quite scared and also triggered by it. And I realize that I started to have these authoritarian voices in my head because of having read 2-3 first chapters of genesis inn the bible. This book, is so interwoven in society and in our lives from be – LIE – ves that we don’t see the crime. It is right in front of our noses.

 

I did not read a lot, but I understood that I was quite taken by what I was reading. And like I said I started to have these authoritarian voices after having read it. No wonder there is war in this world, from how we are directed by this book (amongst others) to live our lives.

 

I will work through self forgiveness to release myself from this construct of authoritarian conscious voices. And I will gently put the bible aside for now.

 

What this all means to me is that, I am quite sensitive. Apart from that, I see how the old system tries to play itself in the new system, but the old system is failing and falling apart. Collapsing. Still religious programming and brainwashing,  is huge and deep, deep within humanity.

 

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What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative – as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.

– June Roca

http://desteni.org/

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into consciousness with my energies of fear from reading about the violence and crimes in the books of genesis, where I later started to hear voices and having thoughts in my head from this experience of reading about this “god” that said this and that and literally make life hell on earth from genesis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my voices as they were demanding and ordering, like they were from my dad, or a teacher or a master or of the Lord, major of the crown city of London, because he is the only true lord of this earth of the old rules and system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to open up my ideas and thoughts about this voices and from where it came from out of fear to open up, like a can of worms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to related to the word “god” as my father as my own father that is my dad, that in fact is not him but the “papa”, by the old system the pope and the leaders of the Vatican, that have been rulers of heaven (the Vatican ) and its laws like “umnun sanctum”, preaching, and so on.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to break loose from the kings and the priests of this world and to fear consequences of what would happen to me as of consequences of ending my own matrix, ending my game by stopping participating in the game and rather honor life and live my life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my voices in my head where autotarian like from the millgram’s experiment and how we are all programmed to follow voices and concepts of authority like teachers or police or royalties etc, that is all together completely brainwash and lies all from constructs like the bible and the books of genesis and you might say, day to day life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I that since all these people from the bible, could “hear”; “god” in sound, they where all schizophrenic, voice hearers, and not sane.

If things are not clear or you juts want to send me a picture of a flower, my facebook url :

https://www.facebook.com/tormod.hvidstengjedrem

 

Thank you for reading; enjoy your computing and breathing.

 

 

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