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Day 796 – separation of life

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we are all extensions of each other

 

Separation is a highly interesting point. Because as life we are all one. That is a pill to swallow. One. Not two (in separation) – not them or others and ego. Life itself is one. Equal and one. So separation exist. Because of the human experience. This is me balancing myself – bringing me back to me.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give my “will” into the sneaky or calling (somehow) of desire or need or habit/addiction, from the back of my mind, to bring myself to go into separation of myself (physical) as life, from where ever in my body, directed from my mind and patterns, where within this I know that we are all one, the other life form (human, animal, plant, beyond ) is a extension of me, they are from the same origin, like the same as me, we are all equals.

Where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear or dread that it is a human “thing” to go into separation of the self, the physical, by those terms I mean to go into thoughts, thinking, gossip of mind, projections, doubt, angst, blame, etc where, I know that i do not in fact need to go into separation as the separation in itself is self abuse, abuse of life, and self sabotage.

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare to  open up, to expand, learn and evolve as sound, as life without going into the stress, angst, fear for having to prove myself to be of some result that I would imagine is expected of me and then just end up looping myself in my mind/mind fucking myself.

Where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crawl back to my starting point of why would I need to (again) go into separating myself from life (?) where I see and realize and understand that I need to define my starting point and correct myself so.

Within this lies pieces, blueprints and direction of myself stabilizing my schizophrenic mind, me learning self authority and self honesty, me learning to live.

Life is oneness and equality in equilibrium/balance – where are we  ? How are we living ?

 

vivascious tormod

 

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Day 555 – Restless at spring

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It is spring time in Norway. The first flowers have emerged from the ground and the first birds have arrived from the south. It is that time of year where new life is born. The farmers, in the rural area where I live, are having lambs born of their sheep. And it is that time of year where we can be allowed to play outside without a jacket, and without the extra clothes that winter forces on us.

A phenomena that I have discussed lately, that is just sad and wrong, is the winter/summer times, that comes with turning the clock to a different season/light. This is just lunatic and wrong. It is like we are told that we do not handle light and darkness. Come on. This is mockery and it have got to stop. There are 5 % more heart attacks in Norway during this shift. That have got to end.

But back to my point. During spring I get, anxious, I feel like moving, traveling, exploring, meeting girls, sing and shout, and … I feel like I want to do something, there is a urge within me. Like I am more superior.

What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative – as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.

– June Roca

http://desteni.org/

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live this urge over and over again each spring like a automate pattern that is simply reoccurring over and over again. I want to live without this urge and my need to move and get anxious.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am allowed to feel superior because it is spring.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that spring is the farmers time to work on land and to care for animals and that this time of year is specially dedicated to the farmer and that this again creates a urge within me to become farmer.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the urge I get when there is lambs being born and there is Easter and the tradition around the world with Easter, that is supposed to celebrate Jesus dying and living again where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself my tradition of boiling eggs and burning a fire on the mountain with my family and the people that I hold dear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I think that we have created a cool solution to celebrating Easter that is like to be with family and friends on a mountain, that is a cool new tradition to give each other time and to be with.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am living my life from the past, like seed buried in the snow and that I am living life over and over again with the same urge like a pre – program.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my desires are born during spring and that this is the good time to have sex and meet women because of my urge to be more active and have less clothes on inn general programmed, feel more free.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project out blame on to the government and officials because of how they still cling on to the old summer winter time schedule, of truing the clock, where I realize that it is my ability to be social and to make new friends, that is the root of this blame, where I realize that I need new friend and I need to socialize more and to be more “out there”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that every time the spring comes I need to follow my dreams and my desires, thinking that I could become a farmer or to set plants and seeds for the future and be a part of nurturing life and to see life grow and develop.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the spring is better than fall or summer or winter.

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When and as I see myself going into this urge or doing something extra or more like I get superior during spring, I stop myself and I take a deep breath and I slow myself down. I realize that spring time in Norway is that time of year that life is reborn and that life is re – created. I realize that spring time is that time of years that I relate to Easter and to be with my family on a mountain and burn a fire. I realize that I like to be with my family/friends, and to bring on traditions that are the best for all life. I realize that all people have spiritual sides with them that they need to or want to live out. I commit myself to root my spirituality and to be here and as my spiritual self, like I am a spire, I spire, I inspire, within life on what is here in front of me and to not limit myself spiritually but to use commonsense and to do what is best for all. I commit myself to let people have their spiritual or religions in peace and to not confront or attack anyone, in any way about their spiritual lives, but to follow the golden rule of do onto others like I would like to be done unto myself.

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