Tag Archives: expand

Day 812 – taught

 

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Or how the people we find the most challenging are in fact the very ones to be our greatest teachers.

I live in a village. I live with about 25 other people together on a farm and we are all different and unique beings with different past and programming.

For me in the beginning It was tough and hard to face the people that I would characterize as difficult. I would feel reactive and emotional around them, thinking “damn, what is her deal” or “why can’t he just be normal”. Or just irritated and upset about how certain people behave.

A important thing to realize here is that all the confusion and reactions, anger, fear or emotion that comes up in me, when people are difficult, is because of me. I am the keeper of the reactions and the anger and programs of mind, not them. The anger or reactions come from within me, and is triggered on how I experience this other being. It is my experience. In other words, they can’t bring up emotions within me. That is totally within my own experience and so responsibility.

I have learned to approach these people with a new “tool” – and that is complete and full embracing of who they are as beings – and also to thank them, for who they are and for what they show me – about myself. I would sit during dinners and imagine that I fully and unconditionally embrace that person. I live the word “embrace” when with those people. I would sound “thank you” within myself in consideration to their expression, manners and living – again – for what they show me of myself. Now this was not easy for me to see or live and realize, it was times where I felt so “abused” by the others behaviors lol and I felt like giving up !

But consistent and persistence diligence living the word “embrace” without a second thought, would make a path for me to see that not only did I see changes in me how I could learn patience and care, consideration and compassion, but they would also change and become “easier” to work with. It is like the situation would heal.

So; it is to do against others the way that I would like to be treated. Place myself in their shoes. Imagine the lives and the programming of mind that they represent.

This is a deep rooted skill to practice and learn to utilize and use to anyone that experiences difficult and challenging situations. It is about learning and understanding to be humble; that the most challenging people and experiences we go through, are our greatest teachers to learn from in life.

So to live the word “embrace” and imagine myself to embrace the person that is difficult. And also I find it convenient to thank them, also within myself as a thank you to the teacher that they are to me.

Here are two links on how to deal with difficult people:

Here are two links on how to deal with difficult people:

 

https://eqafe.com/p/dealing-with-difficult-people

 

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Day 796 – separation of life

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we are all extensions of each other

 

Separation is a highly interesting point. Because as life we are all one. That is a pill to swallow. One. Not two (in separation) – not them or others and ego. Life itself is one. Equal and one. So separation exist. Because of the human experience. This is me balancing myself – bringing me back to me.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give my “will” into the sneaky or calling (somehow) of desire or need or habit/addiction, from the back of my mind, to bring myself to go into separation of myself (physical) as life, from where ever in my body, directed from my mind and patterns, where within this I know that we are all one, the other life form (human, animal, plant, beyond ) is a extension of me, they are from the same origin, like the same as me, we are all equals.

Where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear or dread that it is a human “thing” to go into separation of the self, the physical, by those terms I mean to go into thoughts, thinking, gossip of mind, projections, doubt, angst, blame, etc where, I know that i do not in fact need to go into separation as the separation in itself is self abuse, abuse of life, and self sabotage.

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare to  open up, to expand, learn and evolve as sound, as life without going into the stress, angst, fear for having to prove myself to be of some result that I would imagine is expected of me and then just end up looping myself in my mind/mind fucking myself.

Where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crawl back to my starting point of why would I need to (again) go into separating myself from life (?) where I see and realize and understand that I need to define my starting point and correct myself so.

Within this lies pieces, blueprints and direction of myself stabilizing my schizophrenic mind, me learning self authority and self honesty, me learning to live.

Life is oneness and equality in equilibrium/balance – where are we  ? How are we living ?

 

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These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

Day 793 – Book of life – self authority

I just had the most amazing discovery last night !

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Let me share with you, I was going to bed and doing so, going over some words that have been afloat in my awareness the last days. Some living words. The word “self authority” would peak out. And I would look at it. Close. To see what lies hidden within this word for me ??

First thing i would imagine is a police-man, being all authority and “hard”. Or a thought that “God” is the ultimate authority. Or an old teacher perhaps ? All such things I have now laid behind me and forgiven in detail.
After forgiving the energy addictions within so, I have come to open up this word to myself further – beyond actually – and what it would show me was absolutely amazing. Have you heard about term: “the book of life ” ? Well the saying goes that everyone has a book of life that is being read by self and in that manner – lived by self. It may seem complicated to understand but the basic is that we create our own reality. Abracadabra. So myself authority is me, and within me being the author of my book of life, I create and shape my words to go into my own book of life – that is my life and my reality that I create breath by breathe. Word by word.

Soooo that leads to the very bold but sane conclusion that I am my own self authority – by being the author of my own book of life. Creating my own book of life with my next breathe.

I know that there is no God that is ruling us like we are often led to believe. But now grounding it more back to self, back to reality, oneness and equality and what is best for all – and within all is also me. So I get what is best. By creating, in this second/breathe my own reality.

The book of life is my life – I will not leave it up to some projection of a bully, to rule me. No more !

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Check out the links; they assisted me to come to this very awesome discovery:

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

living words & school of ultimate living: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCuBohSdyFq2Dyr5CJikvhsA

Day 791 – The personality game

What is the personality game ?

It is a game of learning self to know. To spot self as personalities and to notice the polarity within a personality.

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For instance….

I would have one personality with talking to my dad at home in the living room. In this situation I am playing a part in a known personality. There might be many, many points with this personality all based on how my relationship is with my father and how I experience such a communication, in mind, and being a physical.

This is a example of a first personality. Talking to dad in the living room.
Another example is the personality of talking to the cashier lady at the supermarket. Then in that situation I have another, different personality, than who I was talking to my dad. This personality would be based on my relationship to shopping perhaps, or that particular store, or according to other factors.

A third example is when I talk to a little girl in the kinder garden. Then I have yet another personality – that plays out according to my relation to the girl to where I am at in that moment etc.

From situation to situation I am not the same self ! …it is like I am not honest ! Can you see this ?

It would help to see the polarity within. Comparing self in the different environment could be assisting. Meaning the positive relations and the negative relations to the persona that is playing out. Meaning there are positive (feelings) that play out and there is also negative (emotions) also present. Here it is to be trained in being self honest. To call it for what it is. To say that this is such and such… to trust self to know what is positive polarity and what is negative. Remember to be honest – you are dealing with self. It is a deep going quest to learn about self. The ultimate ride… You learning to know you – through mind.

So we are seldom quite honest you could say, we are seldom the same, like one, or genuine, with how we live our lives. It is more like we live in a “prison/person/personality” – imprisoned in our mind by our own “sentences” and living. It is like we trick our self to live personalities that suit the mind. And most of the time not the physical or what is most practical or what is needed.

We all strive to be more honest, genuine and real. From the heart/physical you might say. So see for yourself if you can identify your personalities that play out during a day. See how many different you can spot within self. Write them out, it would help to forgive the energy addiction/polarity within, using self forgiveness. It is quite remarkable to be able to see ones personalities within oneness mind and to take charge of oneness living as such.

Enjoy learning about self and discover personalities of mind

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If you are curious about self-forgiveness – the best self help tool in town – please ask me !

 

Here is a awesome (!)  interview on polarity: https://eqafe.com/p/the-design-of-polarity

 

Day 786 – Feeling loss of mind (component) – going into fear

Feeling loss of mind (component) – going into fear

Just now I was listening to a eqafe interview  that very delicately describes the process that I now walk. Feeling empty and feeling loss: Just today and the last hours, I have been feeling like I Iost something within my mind and within such going into fear thinking I had lost something vital or important when it was “only” from within my mind.

 

 

I would feel angry as a direct link to a fear of loss, fear of loss of possessions, objective, things, money anything from seeing and witnessing a loss of  mind system or components and within that specific loss, feeling empty, silent, depressed, feeling loss, fear and anger lol.. quite a lot to clean up after a simple loss of a mind system component.

Quite specifically I lost a sort of blame component (to my awareness) a sort of deliberating or consequence, call it blame system component. It would simply not be “there” in my mind’s programming no more.

 

self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into automated anger and irritation with self from losing something within my mind that I, within my mind automation,  would consider important to me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel fear of loss from losing this detail within mind and its mechanics, that I would lose and for my mind going into fear of loss, and me feeling helpless, alone, scared within the change of a second, not seeing that it was only a part of minds programming that I would let go of, where mind feels naked or in fear, and I as a being go into fear, automated with my schizophrenia into anger and further fear.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not feel like diving into this mechanics and details, where I think it is only mind and it is only bad news, not seeing the whole picture of what went down.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not until now see and realize some of the picture of how I can open up to myself and communicate, share and LEARN to me about such happenings and event in the life of me, here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hesitate to not ask myself questions and talk to me about what is going on in my mind – in self honesty what is going on and  trust myself to know self and communicate to self.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to seek to know what the future holds, when that is literally impossible, I am here, as breathe, I have to work here with the tools that I have.

 

When and as I see myself feeling a sudden, unexpected drop, or fall, scare, fear or anger, seemingly out of nowhere. I stop I take a deep breath and I slow myself down. I realize that it is in such happenings and moment I can learn, evolve and grow to understand the situation, to understand my mind. I realize that such situations holds great potential for me to open up, and communicate to self and learn about me here.

I commit myself to in such moments, to open up, write, or talk in a considerate way to others about what is going on within. To open up first and for most for me to learn how to live my life.

 

I commit myself to communicate more to me – about me. I commit myself to make each moment matter – more.

 

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These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

 

Day 784 – Holding Back and Imprisoning My Life – Life Review

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Living the words “What are you waiting for ?” I think we all can see our self face to face with our limitations somehow, and that most of us have lived this sentence, within our experience. Like sentencing our self. “I sentence you/self to so & so..”

https://eqafe.com/p/holding-back-and-imprisoning-my-life-life-review

So within this interview from some ones living and experience, this is then explained how these words, this sentencing of self is making our life – less. Often we find that it is some specific thing from our past that we cannot take responsibility for. It is some event or story from our past, that we will not become one with, where we really would benefit, grow and expand if we really dare to look behind this sentencing. And how it is fear and fear of losing control that will make us abdicate and further separate from these events from our past. Emotional things, that has command on us, in a deadlock. So we end up simply recycling or mind systems and our past emotions and live those systems over and over again.

Listen to this person unwrap the life process that was walked with challenges starting to accumulate at art school and how life is limited from a experience at school.

It is about taking that little leap of self communication, being open and honest with self. Learning to know self, and work ones way through the limitations.

 

Looking at the words “what are you waiting for ?”, or “what is holding you back?” can be used, written out with pen and paper, to really investigate self and see within self, into me I see…. forgive the energy components within and realize self from those points that had self in prison by self.

You would be amazed of your potential if you could start with listening to this interview, and then go asking self, some real deep and existential questions, like what is holding me back from living me ? We all know and have dreams of utopia, and our outmost potential. Individually we are the key.  The change starts with a really deep look into our self. Into me I see. Don’t forget self forgiveness.

 

So really:  what is holding you back ?

I recommend pen and paper.

 

Enjoy !

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

Day 781 – Dragging along old mind junk – mind recycled

Dragging along old mind junk – mind recycled

Who am I as a creator ? What do I truly create ?

Something that I was recently made aware of, and that I in self honesty also knew of, is how I drag with me old mind junk, and mind data from the past that I would like to say that is gone and that I am done with – that is still here. Some of the old dominating systems of my mind. Things like “self judgment” and “fear” – systems. These two buggers in particular.  Some of the very dominant system that we as humans carry. These systems, have very deep seated roots on the humans experience. And people walk through life without properly dealing with it. This has effect on life as we know it on earth today  – as well as for the afterlife and infinite existence of humans. Now, I have tools to work through this, I know how to heal and how to work through this and … literally I know how to change. It is only myself who is responsible for not changing. I have self forgiveness, self honesty, living words, breathe, etc, and I should know how to balance this by now. There is no excuse for me to not change.

 

Still my mind programming is heavy. And in this interview of Annuaki he explains how this responsibility is mostly missed by humans, that we are not creating for real – we drag with us old systems, still.

So these two systems, self judgment and fear, are poking me like crazy. And they should – because I should not need to be mind slave within such a equation. Thing is that I see that my consciousness is recycling itself like it did before. Making old problems new again, “making suffering great again”…lol…within mind,  making fear into anger, and self judgment into blame and so on. So I must stop it and alter – create a better reality.

 

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self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drag on specifically fear and self judgment, where I think to myself that some of the things I have done is unforgivable to myself as a being, and that I would think in my mind that me in my afterlife/reflection would not be forgiven, by my beingness,  for some of my deeds/thoughts on this earth, missing the picture of how I let my conscious mind dictate me into thinking “I am not good enough” – “I am not forgiven enough”, “I can’t do this” and ending up in fear and in self judgment – mind systems recycled.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a moral obligation to drag with me fear and self judgment thinking everyone does this and so should I, not seeing or reflecting on how the word “moral” in this world,  protects the very abusers (religion, war, government etc), and within so I am not better than anyone else, for dragging with me fear and self-judgment like emotions that I am eager to give away, and look into my beingness/awareness, and how I need to dump & delete these emotions once and for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to undermine, the thought that  I can make a drawing and a picture or some arts about me leaving “my old emotions”, and systems behind and not fully seeing, how drawing and arts it could assist me in quantifying my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it fascinating and yet disturbing to see how I find it very hard to dump of me, these systems (fears, self judgments) and at the same time how eager mind is to pick it up and  recycle it into my living/suffering.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fascinated by my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to give my mind direction, and a “occupation”.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I had not been able to see or fully realize and comprehend, that as long as I drag with me the constructs/concept of fear and self judgment, my mind will know so, detect so,  l and it will make a big thing/addiction/suffering/recycleling out of it – since both fear and self judgment  are mind based systems.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the desire to see into my fears and my self judgment, like  a desire to see it diminish and disappear,  like to kiss it good bye for good where I would indulge in memories and my mind would catch up with me and “boom”… the mind systems are recycled.

 

When and as I see myself going into re – inventing fear and self judgment, I stop myself, I take a deep breath, and I slow the fuck down.  I have come to realize that I must know my fears and my self judgments – and from there “weed them out” from a distance. To see them, within self, to alter within self and change as self so that awareness/focus/reality is something else, and not fear, and self judgment. I realize that I have all the tools I need to get through this, I must simply slow down and find myself stable and ready to create best for all/best for  me solutions.

 

I commit myself to be with my tools, and my support to give myself chores and creative tasks. I commit myself to stay busy, creative but slow and commonsensical.

 

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These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/