Tag Archives: equality and oneness

Day 808 – thanks to desteni…..

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I was just listening to a interview of anuaki in the reptilian series, on eqafe, and I wanted to share this post on that concern. Walking my life process, I learn a great deal from others who are walking the same as me, or something similar.

I would like to take this opportunity and audacity of writing a blog in gratitude. I am so lucky to live and breathe in Norway, so I can write pretty much anything and post it from free (!) online, for millions to be able to read…. THAT in itself is a pretty fucking fantastic thing, and I am grateful for so !

I would like on this day to bring out some thanks. The first thanks goes out to my parents. My parents have through thick and thin stood by me, for almost 40 years.  They have supported me, so many ways and lengths so that there is hardly no way to measuring it.

I owe you everything, though I don’t hold that as a energy,  but I am forever grateful – thank you two, for the life that I have been given.

My boldness and my openness, sharing, consistent, persistent nature, my consideration and honesty I have discovered within myself, self discovery – after starting to walk with desteni.org and learning from the people within that group – literally to realize me! I have been able to free myself from several addictions. I rose up to realize myself beyond polarity, personality, believes, emotions and consciousness. I was to discover me and my life potential. I am grateful for what life gives me to live, today I embrace each morning and bring thanks every night  !

The one and true solution to bring me to realize self and my being is without any comparing the online group we know as desteni.org

So I want to honor some destonians here. In fact all !

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From our gathering in Brussel, spring 2017

 

Thanks you all destonians who I have walked with the last decade – your existing is intriguing and deeply appreciated. I have learned a lot from walking with you all. In particular I would like to mention a few bloggers and walkers who I have particular learned very much from walking with, and that is first of all Kristina Salas. And the blog equality walk ! You are a  awesome example of consistency. That blog and those selection of words have taught me A LOT. Your example is very much appreciated Kristina ! Thanks for all the investigation and realizations, support and sharing of your life ! I have learned lots from your words and your living over the years. I think it is about to realize self, to become better from self. So totally awesome equality walk – humble thanks.

Also I would like to thank Anna Brix Thomsen who I have been walking with now for many years – and that I have shared my online life with, from the desteni I process and from managing self in this world. Your support is awesome and I learn from you all the time: to manage self and to find life hacks – great thanks !

 

Also I would like to mention the persistent and convincing Marlen Vargas Del Razo – for  the support that you have given me unconditionally for many (!) years. The short by efficient comments to my many youtube videos and your comments and questioning and appreciation of my blogs is simply breathtaking and I owe you first a good hug and to let you know how deep I appreciate and value the support that you still give. It may not be that visible what you do but in the long haul we see the marvel of marvels, birthing of life,  and the message of quality comes through.

You have taught me persistence and perseverance. And that realizing of reward to “keep at it”, to give up the giving up basically. Your presence is deeply appreciated.

 

I would like to mention Kim Klein for the example of walking through with OCD, I have still to manage my mentality and the awareness and example of you makes my days more structured and doable.

Also I want to thank the very awesome man of Matti Freeman – your example is magnificent ! Big inspiration.

Andrea Rossouw. You assisted me and saw my potential early on I guess. Walking with me through my demons and pain. Your dedication is very much appreciated and your humor and insight is also something I precious dearly.

Lets keep walking & supporting !

 

There are sooo many people I would like to hug and thank… People at our farm in South Africa – great support – thanks all: 100 % ! ….and everyone I work with everyday, From New Zeland to Europe, to China and All over this world. Humble thanks ! The message of equality and oneness is coming through in our living practicality – and that is what matters !

 

I can’t do this post without mentioning you Sunette. You teach me to be honest, simple, daring  and physical. You all are great examples and exceptional being. I have learned lots from you all and the many events, and communications and project we commonly share. May there be many, many more for the generations to come!  I got to meet and say “Hi” to Sunette in Brussels 2017. I got a short glimpse to who you are, and I find it very interesting that you want to show yourself, not only as the portal but also as you the girl from the farm – that you are. So I double appreciate you then Sunette lol. The LF chat is super cool to be a part of – you have thought me so much… man. Heavens Journey to life…   is sooo cool. All the things you have showed me I appreciate perhaps most : the small things that we take for granted (?) stability, presence, internet, breathe, clean water, warm shower, my body, grass, animals… you are very dear to me and I want to honor you as best I can ! So thank you Sunette for your awesome example !

 

 

Offcorse I have also learned lots of key ingredients and honest perspective from the one and only Bernard Poolman. A truly unique being, whom I still visit on youtube and the blog creations journey to life, to remind myself:  what is life about.

 

From desteni the group, all of you, buddies and newbie’s, bloggers, forgivers, mothers and children, I have been given the ingredients to learn self trust, self responsibility, self honesty. Integrity. Humbleness. So many deep qualities and wonders it completes my every day.

Check out the 7 year journey to life page on FB

 

So thank YOU for reading this and let’s keep walking and sharing and exposing our process and learn from each other.

 

I just realizes that I am greater than my schizophrenia – from the words (!) that I live…

equality and oneness – until it is done

 

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The ultimate store online: https://eqafe.com/

Try out our free online course to learn self forgiveness : http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

 

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Day 796 – separation of life

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we are all extensions of each other

 

Separation is a highly interesting point. Because as life we are all one. That is a pill to swallow. One. Not two (in separation) – not them or others and ego. Life itself is one. Equal and one. So separation exist. Because of the human experience. This is me balancing myself – bringing me back to me.

 

 

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to give my “will” into the sneaky or calling (somehow) of desire or need or habit/addiction, from the back of my mind, to bring myself to go into separation of myself (physical) as life, from where ever in my body, directed from my mind and patterns, where within this I know that we are all one, the other life form (human, animal, plant, beyond ) is a extension of me, they are from the same origin, like the same as me, we are all equals.

Where, I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear or dread that it is a human “thing” to go into separation of the self, the physical, by those terms I mean to go into thoughts, thinking, gossip of mind, projections, doubt, angst, blame, etc where, I know that i do not in fact need to go into separation as the separation in itself is self abuse, abuse of life, and self sabotage.

Within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not dare to  open up, to expand, learn and evolve as sound, as life without going into the stress, angst, fear for having to prove myself to be of some result that I would imagine is expected of me and then just end up looping myself in my mind/mind fucking myself.

Where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to crawl back to my starting point of why would I need to (again) go into separating myself from life (?) where I see and realize and understand that I need to define my starting point and correct myself so.

Within this lies pieces, blueprints and direction of myself stabilizing my schizophrenic mind, me learning self authority and self honesty, me learning to live.

Life is oneness and equality in equilibrium/balance – where are we  ? How are we living ?

 

vivascious tormod

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

Day 782 – expanding in the life process

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Looking at my current living, where I am, and my livelihood, and how I more or less creative and in consideration define myself to be, I would like to just elaborate on my current process and status. For many years I have defined myself as and within the stigmatizing ground of psychiatry, addictions, and mental illness. I have come to realize that we all, every single fart included of humankind are more or less mentally suffering, being of mind. Stating that I do not close myself into being only psychiatry or that ballpark anyway. How do I define myself today and within walking my process of total change into something more something better and supportive, something of real matter ? It is right there in front of me, like this impression of nature and of detail, and stability, because what am I doing ? I am expanding, including, uniting and cooperating. I discover, reveal and I heal. I learn and I grow. More than anything else. I discover myself, I close down my believes, my fears and my reactions and addictions, by uniting with its origin and life, structure of me is becoming one with the self, and with all that is me.

 

Within here is stored mega bytes of self forgiveness and persistent walking of my process, embracing self as life and uniting, and even creating more of me, what is discovering of my own expression – my living. I find myself more and more in equilibrium with not only nature as I see it, but me, self as life force, and will to live. I more than ever before,  would like to live till I am over 100 years old lol. There is so much I would like to participate with and further create.

 

Today more than ever before, I realize my standing and creative ability and life force. My will to go on with projects, chores, responsibility, daring to be a bit of a “clown” perhaps and taking on new challenges in common sense and self awareness. Many have said this before me that it is the nucleus cell and being of ordinary people, that will eventually change this world – because we change: ourselves, our ingrained patterns and behaviors,  first and become one and equal – physical, responsible as being and life force in where we are.

So for me at the moment it is about nurturing myself within slowing down and taking one breathe at the time, to really get this point of expanding and not falling into old destructive patterns of mind.

Today I notice such a simple thing as not daring to ask for a hug, and to embrace self completely, as another, would sort of bring me down, and I know that I could “take on a clown suit” and simply ask bluntly for a hug – and I would be granted so.

Time to embrace the clown from within huh ? To nurture and grow as a playful clown – myself. To rediscover play (and fun) in my daily life.

So in a way it is also about daring and taking that initiative. Being brave sort of. So that I can continue to walk and make progress and learn as I go. Grounding is perhaps a word I am seeking for.

Either way I am proud of who I am today, I have a level of integrity and self respect. I am someone new at the same time reborn as self in the physical. I live to suit the support of life and to expand myself on all areas of progressing and sustainable creation.

Realizing just now, sitting here typing in front of my screen, that, I have had a long history of being for instance dyslectic. I have still difficulties with writing  by hand – and reading it later. School was not my thing lol. But I will not blame the system – because the system is me. I created it. Together with for instance you. So it is a process of uniting, embracing and forgiving, bringing back to self all parts that I has separated myself from and made into mind fucks and loops, recycling the mind junk. Today I embrace it and bring it back to me- to oneness and equality.

 

Thanks for reading !

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

Day 757 – How I found desteni: Part 2

Part 2

continued from : part 1

 

I was first introduced to the demonology forum. This might sound scary, but we are serious about what energies and possession can do. Realize that “possessions” is what a hospital/doctor would call “psychosis”. Since I have been carrying schizophrenia and having lost of energy addictions, it was natural for me to start at demonology forum. It was logical for me, with my condition of illness. I was guided there and shown some basic structures of mind, thought, what therapy and resonance to apply. The origin and psychology. Common sense and responsibility. Thing is that I was so loooong gone corrupted of slaving to energies, I was simply very, very fucked after many years of drugs and addictions. I had to realize that I am the system, I am responsible, within my mind, my being, my body and myself breathing, something like a human. This would make up a system that is me. So within so without.  I had to take responsibility for me being me. For me accepting and allowing myself to participate, in a world of abuse.

 

 

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Two things in particular was crucial for me to grasp. One thing was to build up and write my own self forgiveness sentences. That was not as easy as it sounds lol and there were some newbie  strange attempts to do so in the beginning. So it was rather challenging to learn the writing and spelling of self forgiveness. I have been half way a dyslectic, and to be comfortable with writing have been challenging.

 

The second thing that I found challenging was to see the difference between feelings and emotions. I would think that feelings is the high and emotions is the low, of a wave of energies. Just like that. It took me some time to see  the clear difference of the two. To come to terms with that feelings is one thing and emotions is another thing. This was hard for me to grasp. My programming was so hard wired it would refuse this awareness.

 

 

Gradually I started to speak self forgiveness to myself, and this was the big innovation of me. Like going backwards, finding my own innocence. Becoming physical, forgiving the great mind enslavement.

 

And there was lots to study within this new me. Equality and oneness. Who are we really as humans ? What is our origin ? Why are we here ? Why is there abuse/war ? All these questions and many more is found within the language and writing of desteni.org

 

It is a waste database of knowledge and investigation to see and study. To listen to Bernard Poolman on YT. To hear his words and to see what he would see. To not believe the portal but take it all into consideration and just hear it and then apply it, within the system of self. The messages of desteni.org  is a very practical and common sensical message. It is sanity and what is best for all. It is what this world is literally screaming for.

 

For me with schizophrenia, desteni.org was through the portal able to show me what is schizophrenia, and how to best deal with it. Now be clear we are not doctors at desteni.org, we are ordinary people investigating life/dimensions. I have been able to reduce and marginalize my schizophrenia with the tools taught to me at desteni.org  In particular the self forgiveness have been of great support, and I have deleted lots of bother within me – physically/interdimmensjonally/of mind. I have gained lots in practical terms, of where I am and how I live. Also self honesty, self trust, self responsibility, self aware, consideration, regard, living words…. the list goes on and I am truly grateful and humble to be. With the tools of desteni.org I saved my life. I am still puzzling myself together.

 

So who every YOU are – desteni.org holds something truly unique to offer you and your living. From my experience I would not waste a second more – but get right on it and start the process to walk – to make it a good world for us all. We are the system(s). Lets walk into equality and oneness – for what is best for all.

 

Thank you for reading

 

links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

Day 753 – more on the word: organized

more on the word: organized

 

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a continuation from blogs:

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/01/19/day-742-living-the-word-organized/

&

https://tormodhvgj.wordpress.com/2017/03/10/day-749-becoming-more-of-me-expanding-through-living-words/

 

 

today I redefine this word again :

 

organized: have a certain structure, to keep it neat and uncluttered and also to have comfort within ones environment.

I today take on this word, within. A new process opens up with walking with words more on my insides – letting words guide me within, and sorting out more of my thoughts and emotions.  so I can birth life from my physical, meaning I can be a example in my own flesh / body for other people to see and realize/wake up within them self/mind, to live more fulfilling living for what is best or all in equality and oneness.

 

I have been walking now with this word organized for quite some time, and I have grown within this word. I notice that I take my time with such a word and I don’t know if it is because I jump to other words to fast, and act within being unorganized. Or if I simply needed to take that time. I guess it is a  mixture of both.

 

I now see opportunities and possibilities as well as response – abilities open up for me with walking with this word on my inside. I find this very interesting and fun to see with my real – eyes. To be intimate (into – me – I – see) with my body.  I think I will take this gradually and really mature within this word.

I go through my day with all sorts of things going on within my mind. Self judgment and certain emotions like angst, or depression,  and I take out and look at how I can live this word organized in such a relation to disturbances like emotions.

My mind is a reflection of me. If I am in my nature grounded, stable, firm and  organized, THEN my mind with be the same in return – to me. It is basic math, that goes to prove the equal and one relationship that one have to develop within ones being (body).  I make most of these realizations from working physical with my body. That is where I nurture my awareness – the  most.

 

Meaning …….. you might not have seen the last definition yet !

 

For more living words and how-to see : SOUL

 

 

other links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

enjoy breathe !

 

 

 

Day 678 – marginalizing my schizophrenia

 

bord

Living with schizophrenia you soon find yourself in the … rather marginalized parts of society. Or to me this seems like the overall picture and something we all would like to change and heal. But when the overall old establishment is only triumphing away with its insane money system, stress, ignorance, fear/ war systems, abuse etc…  then that is what you get. You get addictions, crime, escapism, drama and psychosis and suffering , from how the old money system is rigged and corrupt to the core and beyond.

Notice that this is all traced back to each and every one of us the way we live our lives according to our very own : mind consciousness system – inn lack of self responsibility, self honesty, real love etc…. the mind consciousness system eats you raw and that is all how we are programmed  – to suit into the system – to like it,  accept it and applaud it. We are forced to like it and approve it from our upbringing and our programming and schooling – because hey: our parents did not know any better either. They where programmed to. There are solutions to this mind consciousness / maze we are inn – if you ask me I would share solutions with you. The solution is you.

 

I was diagnosed with schizophrenia in 2003. I have later studied and understood that I was born with schizophrenia. That is my reality. This is more and more accepted particular in USA  – the blueprint land. The fact that I thought of suicide at age 13 had to come from somewhere and I have traced it back to my conceiving, and my reincarnation process/ my creation – when I was just a fetus. Math of me. I could share a world with you if you care to listen. Things are not what they seem.

 

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In my 20’s and 30’s I would search high and low for that community and that place to find shelter and care  and compaction, hope, honesty  to be able to live my life with my diagnosis and my experience and my many emotions. I would go into drugging and drinking and the …again marginalized part of society to find meaning and serenity and sanity. When I say the marginalized parts of society I mean the types of places like culture houses, hippie collective, people and institutions that are outside of the ordinary govern-  mind  money rule system of enslavement.

And we do need such places. Such places of anarchy (the perfect order) and a safe haven for so many people.

I could physically not accept that old system of banks, police and govern  – mind etc… It was impossible to me to live with them or should I say according to them. I would oppose them with my everything. Later I learned to trace the origins of these authorities within myself and my mind. All the bullshit/fear/abuse that we see around today, us is traceable back to our mind consciousness systems and our accepted and allowed programming.

I am currently working on establishing self authority. It is all a process to be walked; I welcome you to join me.

 

The ordinary life of .. suppression, ignorance and over all traditions and consumer culture, money system, mass media … you name it.. I had had enough of it. I refused to accept it and I refuse still. I am a politician and so are you : so we damn best live up to it for the  coming generations.  So I would search alternative ways to live. This have led me down many a path, not always safe and sound with what I was getting into still I did it to survive. I would live my life with several addictions and constant suffering and drama where ever I went. I was living like a rocker or a outcast. It was my way of surviving. I was dirty poor, addicted and practically dying or dead from all my voices, and my suffering of mind and body.

From this low down hard lonely and frozen place I was able to hear a message. The desteni message. This was coming through to me in 2010 / 2011. In 2012 I started to walk my process. I committed to the desteni I process. I can tell you for sure that my process have been quite a ride. I am working on my balance with my previous many addictions. I would push myself to reach for that self honest and that realness. To be my own authority. To be directive with myself. I have been on brink of crawling back into myself and into psychosis many times – breathing and grounding myself as breath have helped me many times to stabilize/ground myself. It have been quite a process. From where I was it could almost only go one way. I was so way down dirt and dying. I was at bottom. No questions about it. I could only improve my life from where I was. At desteni you get the truth. There is hardly sugarcoating at all. You are told things that might be painful and disturbing,  but you realize within the core of your being that it is real.  It is best to be told truth on this side of life, because we don’t know what is expecting us on the other side. Best to deal with all the components here in real time. I started to walk my process, and I would evolve and improve my living from day to day. I would have my drivers license back, I would go to work, I have written several hundred blogs about being me with schizophrenia (schizoaffective). I have about 80 vlogs on youtube about my process that I have been walking, with desteni. I have about 20  tracks on soundcloud where I explain my walking and my point of view. Similar on Mixlr.

 

So, I have risen from the ashes, like phoenix the bird. I have gotten myself into the rooms where the new psychiatry and drugs treatment is happening. I make myself heard, with my experience. I am discovering my own directive principle. I am discovering to be the best version of myself that I can be. I am discovering words, to be responsible.  I am discovering to be self honest. I am learning  to  be a leader. I am discovering self discipline and virtue.

I am like a child again.  Because with desteni I process I learn to take away the  energies and the psychology that are holding me back from life !

 

My process right now is about my be – lie – ve within  a perceived righteousness programming and elements within myself. This might sound  strange to many, but I can repeat that. A be – lie  – ve system/complex of seeing myself as superior or moralistic over others/life and having this perceived righteousness as my bother/pain (this construct is a actual pain within me). You don’t find this in  doctors office… only at desteni do we go so deep within the human mind and consciousness experience – and bring it back into physicality and practicality. All of it. Into living words and applications.  Oneness and equality.  It is with accuracy, self honesty and responsibility, I am able to direct myself to share this with you from my walking.

This is who I am today spring 2016 – walking out of be – lie – ve / perceived righteousness. How are you doing yourself ?

 

morningsurf

“morning surf”