Tag Archives: details

Day 783 – serious

Living serious



Who am I as the word serious ? The word serious can be quite interesting.

Let’s look at this word in my native tongue – Norwegian, let’s play and investigate this word.

Ser I oss ?

Ser dere oss ?

Can tho see us ?

Can you see me ?

Ser I ous –  can you see me/us ?

It ends up like a question, if I am visible or not. If anyone can see me. So what should make one stick out in a crowd ? What draws our attention on what premises ?

Let’s dive into this… We humans are a result of cultural and multilayered programming and upbringing. Consisting of memories, words,  data, energies, conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious mind that have made a myriad of impacts on us as beings. I mean we have gone thought some nasty shit to end up like we have, with constant war, crimes, inequality, pollution, abuse of life, rape, murder, ignorance and that list goes on & on. The human creation. Not a lot to be proud of – so far !


Most of us live under cultural influence and a undisputable demand to consume and  live according to polarized and painful energy surges and experiences  – constantly chasing the newest gadget, theme, movie, tech, money, porn, clothing, mobile, drug, hype etc.


We are driven by our minds (!) desire to do “this” over “that”.  Within a fraction of a  second we make our minds to chose, Paris Hilton over Naomi Klein, or Simone de Beauvoir,  we chose a coca cola, over a carrot or water, or porn instead of self investigation,  we choose violent computer games over writing our life story and reading books about perma culture. Can you agree to this  ?? We drive and chase porn, video games, and celebrities, energies, we do anything, all the time to have more money, and to improve our status above others in compare. This is still the core human drive of mentality.  This have been going on for some time now.


So why should I be serious, why should people look at one ? What makes one so special ?

To be special today, in a smart way, to be serious,  is to chose to be responsible to have awareness, and self honesty with ones living. To see and work with how minds has us in a dead lock position.  To address the programming within self, of energies and imagination within, being it emotions, believes, thoughts, addictions, personalities, behaviors, ingrained patterns, judgment, fears or desires. To see it all and I expose it, document it, chose to delete it with self forgiveness. To know how it came about, to prevent it to come again.

Here is a catch, If I don’t know what is driving me into fear then how can I stop fear ? If I don’t know the details and specifics of fear, how it origins and operates, then how to delete it ? And we know that fear feeds anger and so the spiral of abuse goes. And we see the conflict in the world as a direct result.

I am serious because I in full debt and consideration take measure of my mind, and chose to work through it, with the very best tool of self forgiveness.


I use myself and my life and living as example. I puzzle all that I have been, all my parts I dissolve and place back together after deleting the energy (addiction) involved. I am ser – I – us because I make myself un-corrupt in relation to energies/money. I delete all the element that have led me to the reactions, voices in the head, addictions, fears, judgments, ignorance, believes and so on. I take life serious. Still though;  I don’t want to separate myself into a “good person”,  a “Jesus character”, personality construct, no. I just want to share my earnest, sincere, and honest consideration of how I live my life and the experiences such.

Either to blame any type of programing – because that is all it is. Programs. If I blame something or someone that is a signal that I have something to take responsibility for in my living.


So again it is to “know thy self”  – meaning to know the physical, to know self from the flesh. To have a certain awareness of oneness energy relationship. To know how mind works, and gradually take charge of oneness mind and then ones living. To change. To be serious. It does not mean to be boring and dull and grey… no then we have missed the point. And besides that is a assumption and a judgment of others or self. To be serious it to learn self as all the self is, and to become responsible with ones process and living. To know the minds yoga and to learn how systems of mind works. To dissolve the mind systems before it manifests. To take a stand for change. Real honest and genuine. And fail me not: being serious, can be done in a clownish way. That is serious. I chose to be serious, I chose to stand up !


These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof










Day 765 – To much help ?

With walking my desteni I process, being a living breathe on this earth with applying the tools that is offered generously by the desteni – group… I have come to realize a sneaking pattern within my mind and living experience. So I already mention that desteni offers allot of solutions. Assistance for self to apply. Like self forgiveness, breathe awareness, self honesty, self trust, self responsibility, physical awareness, living words and so on. These are some of the main pillars and tools/applications that is offered by desteni. Like you can see they are many.


And this point of the assisting tools being many my mind have used against me. Like my mind would project out a picture and “feeling” like all these components like a rack, stacked on top of each other… unorganized and very chaotic. Like a big mess. Make a big deal of a small point – which of mind is a expert lol…


One more time: my mind would try to use the multitude of assisting tools to tell me and convince me to discard and sort of give up my assisting applications, by telling me they are chaotic and unorganized. Like a mess of help lol.




So… ” Mind is a beautiful servant but a dangerous master” – Osho





Mind will work (if allowed) against life. Against me. So I must find ways to not give mind place/room/space within me – by using my applications – by being physical. I must not fear or hate my mind, simply take charge of it. It is not done over night.


So this is a point for me to look into. The word “organized” also the multitude of things and applications that I have. Question is if take them for granted ? Do I take my assisting tools for granted ? What do I take for granted in my living ?  Important questions to ask self.

Thanks for reading


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Day 594 – Deleting a personality : Worried over details personality

Worried over details/seemingly small things – personality.


For context on worry I suggest investing this interview:


To implement the change that genuine is best for all to this earth, it takes some effort. One must psychologically convince other people the direction you are walking is the right direction. You must be certain that your direction is the best, safest and most honest, and then live that. It may sound easy but it takes some effort and strength. It is not done over night and we have to walk stead steps, day by day, until we finally reach our goal. A lot of work, compound, can look small inn the big picture. A lot of hours work can be compressed down to tiny details over space and time. This have had me go into worrying. Worrying that the little things that I see, is not accurate, that it is not perfect, not good enough, or that it shows failure and that it is not paying off. I worry over the, seemingly small things in life.

This personality is playing as of polarity, as very inferior, and seemingly weak, bad , wrong, judging myself, within the negative pole, and at the same time sort of trying and testing and sensing, still not giving up, in the positive end.

Details, small steps, and what could seem insignificant in the big picture that real is important because it is the everyday walking, working, pushing that eventually pulls through. It is that walking and working towards a further goal to reach perfection that drives humans. It is a part of compound interest.

I find within myself that I often go into worrying over the seaming small things. Things I cannot see. Thing that are hidden, like esoteric, the details that I make out to be worrying and sad or wrong. Judging myself for my own worrying.

It is a genuine fear that surrounds me of fearing that the effort will not be enough and that I do not have control of what other people are contributing of little things and I fear to fail.

I fail to see that I am pushing in the right direction and that I am doing what is best for all. I fail to see that I am living the best for all solutions. I fail to see that I am already living it.

I am also experiencing the common, “What if thoughts”, “What if this bad thing should happen” and “What if the skies fall down”. Further giving into fear and worrying.

So within my mind and personality I go through what could happen if things are not accurate and perfect in place. I have these balls or entities within me bouncing from side to side out of worry and fear is also let lose. It is a personality of worrying over small things. Failing to realize and clearly see that we are pulling in the right direction, and we are doing the correct stuff. It is simply these thoughts of “what if” – that I must learn to block out and stop participating within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the moment when I feel like there is space or time to go into thoughts or thinking and I suddenly lose control of my mind and being, and I go into what if thoughts and worrying.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into feeling inferior and failure from thinking I will not succeed and I thinking, what I do or did, is not good enough and I should have done some details another way and I should have taken better time to do a better job, where I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into fear out of investigating details because of how I think there are ways to do things better, for what is best for all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into judging over imaginary faults and mistake that I convince myself that I have done, creating regret and anger within, where I judge myself for the past and for what I have been doing.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deliberately do mistakes out of thinking “What if thoughts ” and programming myself to do mistake and to sabotage myself with such reactions and such thoughts and within this I forgive myself for having accepted and allowed myself to later judge myself for this programming within “What if thoughts” and doing mistake thereof.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry and feel like I am insignificant when I look at the big picture, and i fail to see my hours go work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry over time and space.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to worry over things that are small.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to realize how I could trust myself to a further degree, by realizing self honesty and living self honesty on day to day basis.

When and as I see myself going into giving myself space and time to think, and sort of planning to go into thoughts deliberately. I stop myself, I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that I should find myself within self honesty and to rather use time to study and to learn new things, repeat things to myself learn new words, new skills and go for walks in self honesty. I realize that I thoughts will eventually trick me with it overload and egoism. I commit myself to breathe awareness and to self honesty, in my daily life. I commit myself to learn new thing every day and to embrace and forgive, what is here, esoterically, and physically and express myself as I breathe inn and out. I commit myself to stop living this personality of fear and worry, that is not supporting me at all. I commit myself to live in breathe awareness and to live my fullest potential. I commit myself to self honesty.

When and as I see myself keep going back at a point that I am working with and I get frustrated because I keep going back over and over again. I stop myself, I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that if there is like a alarm that keeps going of I need to go back, and reinforce that point and empower myself. I realize that it is a process to walk to commit to cover all energies and all dead – ends and all the mistakes from before, I realize that It is my chore to clean up my old mess that I have been living. I realize that I must take responsibility for myself by forgiving all and every minute detail of my past – that is energetic and loaded. I commit myself to listen if there are any alarms going of that I need to handle.I commit myself to go back and cover all areas so that I eventually can breathe more clear and more pure, without that much pain/friction within myself/my chest. I commit myself to not worry over details that are alarming and simply take action to embrace and delete them, and  release the energy from the memory/case.I commit myself to work through all details of my past without worrying.

If you want to learn more on self check out : http://desteni.org/

Thank you