Tag Archives: definition

Day 783 – serious

Living serious



Who am I as the word serious ? The word serious can be quite interesting.

Let’s look at this word in my native tongue – Norwegian, let’s play and investigate this word.

Ser I oss ?

Ser dere oss ?

Can tho see us ?

Can you see me ?

Ser I ous –  can you see me/us ?

It ends up like a question, if I am visible or not. If anyone can see me. So what should make one stick out in a crowd ? What draws our attention on what premises ?

Let’s dive into this… We humans are a result of cultural and multilayered programming and upbringing. Consisting of memories, words,  data, energies, conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious mind that have made a myriad of impacts on us as beings. I mean we have gone thought some nasty shit to end up like we have, with constant war, crimes, inequality, pollution, abuse of life, rape, murder, ignorance and that list goes on & on. The human creation. Not a lot to be proud of – so far !


Most of us live under cultural influence and a undisputable demand to consume and  live according to polarized and painful energy surges and experiences  – constantly chasing the newest gadget, theme, movie, tech, money, porn, clothing, mobile, drug, hype etc.


We are driven by our minds (!) desire to do “this” over “that”.  Within a fraction of a  second we make our minds to chose, Paris Hilton over Naomi Klein, or Simone de Beauvoir,  we chose a coca cola, over a carrot or water, or porn instead of self investigation,  we choose violent computer games over writing our life story and reading books about perma culture. Can you agree to this  ?? We drive and chase porn, video games, and celebrities, energies, we do anything, all the time to have more money, and to improve our status above others in compare. This is still the core human drive of mentality.  This have been going on for some time now.


So why should I be serious, why should people look at one ? What makes one so special ?

To be special today, in a smart way, to be serious,  is to chose to be responsible to have awareness, and self honesty with ones living. To see and work with how minds has us in a dead lock position.  To address the programming within self, of energies and imagination within, being it emotions, believes, thoughts, addictions, personalities, behaviors, ingrained patterns, judgment, fears or desires. To see it all and I expose it, document it, chose to delete it with self forgiveness. To know how it came about, to prevent it to come again.

Here is a catch, If I don’t know what is driving me into fear then how can I stop fear ? If I don’t know the details and specifics of fear, how it origins and operates, then how to delete it ? And we know that fear feeds anger and so the spiral of abuse goes. And we see the conflict in the world as a direct result.

I am serious because I in full debt and consideration take measure of my mind, and chose to work through it, with the very best tool of self forgiveness.


I use myself and my life and living as example. I puzzle all that I have been, all my parts I dissolve and place back together after deleting the energy (addiction) involved. I am ser – I – us because I make myself un-corrupt in relation to energies/money. I delete all the element that have led me to the reactions, voices in the head, addictions, fears, judgments, ignorance, believes and so on. I take life serious. Still though;  I don’t want to separate myself into a “good person”,  a “Jesus character”, personality construct, no. I just want to share my earnest, sincere, and honest consideration of how I live my life and the experiences such.

Either to blame any type of programing – because that is all it is. Programs. If I blame something or someone that is a signal that I have something to take responsibility for in my living.


So again it is to “know thy self”  – meaning to know the physical, to know self from the flesh. To have a certain awareness of oneness energy relationship. To know how mind works, and gradually take charge of oneness mind and then ones living. To change. To be serious. It does not mean to be boring and dull and grey… no then we have missed the point. And besides that is a assumption and a judgment of others or self. To be serious it to learn self as all the self is, and to become responsible with ones process and living. To know the minds yoga and to learn how systems of mind works. To dissolve the mind systems before it manifests. To take a stand for change. Real honest and genuine. And fail me not: being serious, can be done in a clownish way. That is serious. I chose to be serious, I chose to stand up !


These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof










Day 761 – symmetry and play

About a year ago I  was given some specific words to investigate, to redefine and live. One of these words was the word symmetry. Now I have been studying some various sources of what is the definition of symmetry. And it seem to me that most have several meanings to this word. It holds several definitions.

I would think , to myself,  I need to break it down in one core definition. Like this ultimate definition of this word. Failing to see that it can actually mean more than one thing. It can have multiple definitions.


So with these thoughts spinning in my mind, with its pro an con’s. I  thought, I have to nail this in one definite meaning.  So I posted on facebook this picture, of what I thought was the definition of this word.



I posted it without much consideration on facebook, and thought it is mostly word play. I wanted to play with this word so I posted it, not taking it ever to serious what definition I had given this word. I was like testing it out.

To me it was mostly play. And that right there is my core issue. If I post something out of play and … testing out to myself, like playing with the word/issue. Then do I have to say that – hey this here is play ? Do I have to make a sticker on the post saying obs, obs, be aware this is me playing ??

What is play ? How do I define play ?


Because in the eyes of the observer, who reads my facebook post, how should he or she know that “hey, this is a joke” – more or less.  This is not serious or .. real, it is a  joke. And how is it that I hereby make play invalid and wrong ?

Interesting huh ?


If someone is playing, than it should then show, that this someone is playing.  No?  Is this not about being clear in ones stand ? Yes it does. So if I was clear in my stand, It would show that this was playing ?…  I am not sure if this is right, and that is from not knowing myself good enough. From not knowing 100% my standing and purpose. It creates insecurities and doubt, do you agree ?


So for me this was a alarm going off. Saying to myself to be clear. To know myself. And to work on de constructing and removing my personality of uncertainty and doubt. So it seem like my personality of uncertainty and doubt have been playing me for a fool here.

So this goes to show that I need to redefine play to myself – because as of now it is not clear.  And to continue on finding my definition to the word symmetry.


Thanks for reading


Check out the links:









Day 749 – Becoming more of me – expanding through living words


my beingness signature drawing



Becoming more of me – expanding through living words.

Rediscover writing and redefining living words.

How to push through limiting believes about self, empower, learn and expand.


I have come to believe that I am lazy and bored, slightly depressed, and that is how my schizophrenic life should be like. A believe. That have become the result of how I defined the words, organized,  structured, symmetrical, and also colorful. I have been pushing this notion or idea that I can’t write any longer. My writing skills are apparently gone, or that I have written it all out already. That I am done and my process is complete. Like I have now transcended into the skies and there is nothing more to write about lol.


This is a typical believe of limitations. My definition of the word organized (and the other words) was simply not the “right” definition. It was not what is best for all. It left me bored and dull… slightly depressed –  and that is something specific for me to learn from. What within my definition of these words was so wrong that it led me to boredom/lazy/depression ?

So my thinking and limiting believes have been; “I am done”, “It is complete”, “I don’t want to bother no more”, “I have done my share” – ending up within my definition of these words – as a lazy bum. Boredom and depression as backchats within my mind – creating the limiting believes.



picture i did


So from here I must rise up and find a purpose for myself  – by redefining these words – again – and expand within so. And by exactly using these words (organized, structured, symmetrical, colorful) within this process of organizing/rising up. Taking in organized to my “within” taking it in to direct my emotions and my thoughts. How the fuck does one take in a word to direct one emotions and thoughts ? lolol

It is as simple as it is hard. First one must understand the basics of mind and energies and thinking. I would strongly recommend to  investigate to learn such in depth and understanding, through the platform of desteni.

My emotions usually rise from my solar plexus, and from there up into the system of me/mind/system. So I take in the word organized to live within, and to direct my thoughts and my emotions to something better than the usually programming/system. How can I adjust myself, to take direction of my emotions and my thinking ? I know a thing or two on how energies work in the body and in the mind. So if I can make my definition of these words a more specific one, so that these words could help me sort out my ; emotions and thinking.


A very specific thing here is to see that believes are so very limiting of our being. Believes that are created from backchats. ” I believe that my life must be dull and grey – from old habit” – and so on. I made a believe that my writing skills had vaporized or that I had changed so much there was  nothing more for me to write on. Like I was too good for it. I believed to had ameliorated myself to a new level. To cool for school lol. I realize that I have made my life difficult and hard by not writing. Writing is a such a gift to not be underestimated, I had suppressed my writing by thinking I was done.


So now I take on this living word, organized within, to give it a new definition and a clear direction.  I have limited myself enough from believing in different personalities, and constructs of mind. Now it is time to look at the word organized in depth and see how it can assist me in my life.

I now need to expand myself within these words. So what I need to look at is to see within these words to see what with my previous definition went wrong ? My previous definition was by organized; to have such a arrangement of details that all involved parts are comfortable.


So how do I redefine a word ? To redefine a word I must learn the word  to know,  and then after knowing it I can make a definition – based on what is best for all. For more living words check out SOUL  and destonian wiki.


Organized. New definition:

is to have the comfort and mobility to take action and do what is required to become empowered.

self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on limiting believes from backchats like “I am done”, “this is it for me”, “I am done with writing”, “till here no further with writing”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in backchats/voices of mind saying “you suck”, “you are not worthy”, “you are to lazy”, “you are a retard” – manifesting as believes.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live this believe within myself as I would start to give more and more energies and thinking to it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad for defining a word “wrong”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not see myself the deceit within my process of refusing to write.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself and blame myself for making a “wrong” within redefining words.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad and judgmental from having all these playoffs  that I tell myself I should have noticed before they made my reality so filled with believes/personalities.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to participate in the backchat, “I am too week for this”, “I suck at this”, “I am no good at this”, “I should not do this”, “I should just be elsewhere.”


Now that I see this and have pushed through there it is a clarity within.

Clarity/realizations  are:

– If I postpone my writing it easily piles up and becomes difficult the more I postpone it.

– Backchats/voices/thoughts makeup the believes that eventually limit me.

– I can take on these words again and redefine them as many times as I need to make it perfect.

– Writing is fun and creative, I learn lots from writing.

– I also learn from pushing through and seeing what makes up what of components and energy, so I can  avoid going into the same trap again.


I will now take on the word organized and see how I can live it within, and to direct my systems within.










Thank you !


Day 732 – against

Living words : against



Current allocation:

I was made aware of how important it is to also live the more common, usual words. This blog from Matti Freeman.  Words that describes ones weaknesses and strength, in everyday life, in self honesty. So I decided or more or less fell on this word:  against. To me against have been typically a wall. A stop. Or a rule like or a authority telling me something that I am rebelling against. Against; is to me that physical stop and till here no further physical wall. Against is like a point of friction. I will live this word for a few days to see how it suits me and how I can redefine it. I would also picture a violent scene of someone being ordered; “up against the wall” – from my fear/rebeling against autorities.

From the dictionary:

1.in opposition to.

  1. 2. in anticipation of and preparation for (a problem or difficulty).

From etymology:

early 12c., agenes “in opposition to,” a southern variant of agen “again” (see again), with adverbial genitive. The parasitic -t turned up mid-14c. and was standard by early 16c., perhaps from influence of superlatives.

Sounding of word:

a giant ice tea

again + sergeant



anger – st

anchor st


positive: it would seem to me like this word holds much principles and moral. I would think one can build character with being against violence, being against alcohol and so on, but it is also a point of moral and separation or even diversity.

negative: it is like one is opposing the establishment. one is fighting the existing rule. one is against something within oneself thought, backchats or authority program one is against something and that is a point of separation or denial.

Creative writing: it holds that force of being against something very physically like it is forcing something like a birth or a push. it is almost like violence to see or abuse/separation a violent or brutal force.

Self forgiveness:

I have walked spoken self forgiveness on this point on how I experience this word. Which was essential to see with clarity my self within it.

New definition:

against  : prevention is the best cure. against is to restrict or to use a specific force to prevent something.


For more living words see: forum


enjoy breathe !

Day 674 – living words : integrity

@desteni we are living words.… check out SOUL to investigate how you can live words to…




Current allocation:

I would think of teachers and masters, and scholars that educate others. Or I would think of being able to make your statement and to be able to say your opinion/thing in a debate.  It is that pushing to have your say. To tell the other people your opinion, your point of view and your side of the story. Integrity to me is to have  real news and experiences, and something teachable to tell others.

Dictionary definition:

-adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

-the state of being whole, entire, or undiminished: to preserve the integrity of the empire.

-a sound, unimpaired, or perfect condition: the integrity of a ship’s hull.



  1. 1400, “innocence, blamelessness; chastity, purity,” from Old French integrity or directly from Latin integritatem (nominative integritas) “soundness, wholeness, completeness,” figuratively “purity, correctness, blamelessness,” from integer “whole” (see integer). Sense of “wholeness, perfect condition” is mid-15c.


Sounding of the word:

inter gritty

inner gritty

nitty gritty

(name on a person)







negative: I would think I need integrity – that I lack it – that I don’t know my complete self yet. I would think I lack the influence of integrity. I would think of the word nitty – like in nitty gritty that I would find bothersome and embarrassing within myself with sounding this word.

positive: I see quite a potential for me to take on this word. I can learn from this word a great deal. My world around me can benefit from this word.


Creating writing:

Inter – gritty – it sound like a mess or a meeting within what is nitty – gritty(dirty) – it is about debating what is nitty – gritty (dirty) about a situation.  Being able or experienced to talk and explain what is with a situation that makes it nitty – gritty. Like a comedian making fun of things – pulling out and exposing the nitty – gritty. It is knowing the nitty gritty and making a point how to deal with it.


New definition:

Integrity is a skill to handle the nitty – gritty


ogna m.m 023


thanks for reading – enjoy your day !



Day 668 – reaction

For a long time I have wanted to write out about reactions. Here goes:

Current allocation:

I would think of muscle reactions, like to pull my arm to myself from fear within petting a animal. Like to reach out one hand and the pulling it back out of fear. Or a psychological reaction within my mind. A thought, or a backchat within my head/mind. It could be a chemical reaction, or a movement.

How do you spot mental reactions ? It is friction, movement, fear, sparkles going off within you. Like warning signs.


reaction (dictionary definition)

  1. a reverse movement or tendency; an action in a reverse direction or manner.
  2. movement in the direction of political conservatism or extreme rightism.
  3. action in response to some influence, event, etc.:

the nation’s reaction to the president’s speech.

  1. Physiology. action in response to a stimulus, as of the system or of a nerve, muscle, etc.
  2. Medicine/Medical.
  1. the action caused by the resistance to another action.
  2. a return to the opposite physical condition, as after shock, exhaustion, or chill.
  1. Bacteriology, Immunology. the specific cellular response to foreign matter, as in testing for allergies.
  2. Chemistry. the reciprocal action of chemical agents upon each other; chemical change.



“action in resistance or response to another action or power,” 1610s, from re- “again, anew” + action (q.v.). Modeled on French réaction, older Italian reattione, from Medieval Latin reactionem (nominative reactio), noun of action formed in Late Latin from past participle stem of Latin reagere “react,” from re- “back” + agere “to do, act” (see act (v.))



What are reactions ? What does reactions do to us ? How can we prevent reactions ? The reactions I mention here, is mostly psychological and related to the human psyche.

A reaction is like to experience of friction, and noise within when someone says something that triggers you. You are inn “reaction”. Reaction leads to further friction, noise, pain of the physical.

Reactions can be fear or anger or spite, blame, guilt, backchats of mind and so on. Reactions is like the start of a train of thoughts, or metaphysical reactions in the head/mind. Reactions is the first sign of a road to psychosis/possession.

Let’s say I am sitting at cafe with friends, and we are talking about things that interest us, and we are enjoying our self. All of a sudden one person tells me ” You are a idiot”. Just like that. I would most likely go into reaction and frictions within. Within my mind and my physical/metaphysical. I would probably go into anger and stress, feeling all insulted, and I would be angry or annoyed at this person. I would feel intimidated. That is a typical reaction. Someone stepping on your toes. Where you are taking things personal. It is not a cool thing to go into reaction, it is confusing and filed with thoughts/noise and it is in general a painful experience. Reacting is not a cool experience.

Looking at the word it is are occurring action. Something that one does on repeat, or over again or in reverse. Something is being done over again or on repeat, it is being done in spite of plan/best for all.


I live with schizophrenia, and I experience reactions quite often. I can feel like someone is stepping on my toes even though they do not mean to. I can experience feeling insulted and hurt, from taking things personal, from the design of my schizophrenia, where I see that I am more sensitive than others.


Carrying my schizophrenia makes me more sensitive to reactions, and my path from reaction to psychosis/possession can be waaaay shorter and quicker in escalating than other peoples psychology and mental experiences. Reactions within mind is simply sickness. Early signs of separation from path/plan.


Reaction is like a start of metaphysical pain and noise. Psychology, emotions anger and literally: sickness and possessions. What we all want is to have a balanced, nice, good, gentle life and living. Without too many “surprises”. We want to be able to predict, plan, be flexible, to empower from peace, balance within, and to have comfort. We want safety, peace and harmony within our self and our lives.

How do we avoid reactions ? Well that question have a lot of different answers. It is all about finding something that suits you. To avoid reaction I would say one have to investigate oneness past and to embrace/forgive ones old memories so one does not step in the same old patterns or reactions again and again. Embracing self is key, self forgiveness is key. Finding balance in physical is key. Yoga and meditation, eating right, can get you quite far. Still I would say you need to be free from “the hook of the past”. Those hooks can drag you down misery train when you least expect it. And this is definitely the era of consequences where such “hooks” can grab you, if you do not have standing in all your past and present. To avoid reactions is to have a go at the patterns that lead to reactions.


Sounding of the word:

read cash in

pay one more time

redeem and putt in

redeem and place in

no action

new axe inn

ax – en (the axe)

dagsrevyen (Norwegian news hour on TV)

the taxing

read taxi

read tax sin


tuxedo in

tuck me inn

ride the dachs




Polarity of word

negative: this is a word with overall negative polarity to me. I don’t like reactions and I want to avoid reactions.


Positive: I first end up in reactions I would like to empower from that reaction, into a more solid and grounded being. I would like to learn from my reaction and better myself and correct myself.


Self forgiveness:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am excused to have more reactions from how my mind is designed, and for thinking I can allow myself further reactions simply because of how I have schizophrenia.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am excused to have reactions because of my diagnosis, of schizophrenia.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to confront myself in reactions out of fear what I might find.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to take responsibility for my life out of fear of what I might find that I don’t like and there for go into reactions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face people that might cause a reaction within me.


New definition:

Reaction is that sparkle of energies, friction/firecrackers going of trying to create series of events within separation, like progressive happening/change. Reaction is the start of separation. Reaction is opposing plan/path/virtue.



Day 667 – who am I & what is real ?

Who am I ?

..and what is real ?


(Is Israel real ?)

Fur further investigation of what lies behind the words we/I use please investigate. Here is a link to a you tube channel about words and meaning/definitions (from “Chiron Last”) and here, is a forum who is taking on words in practicality, and here is how to “live” words.  Also check out the link to the new coming: SOUL – school of ultimate living, on facebook.



I am a human. I am alive. I breathe. I have a birth name. I am physical. I am flesh and bones, blood, organs and skin. I am physical. I live on planet earth.


I have been living slaving to mind for more than 30 years. I have been living like robot. I have been living a lie from childhood years. I have been living in pain and in separation as of thoughts and mind and consciousness.


You see: all the trouble in this world/word can be traced back to our self – each and everyone of us. And our personal experience and living of mind and in our metaphysical individual reality/living.


I am a delicate balance between mind, body and being.


I am today taking responsibility for myself. I am standing up for my past, and to correct myself in present/future, inn oneness and equality. I am walking process to forgive myself. I embrace my dark sides and to learn to live again for real in physical. Balancing mind and being. I am Tormod. I am a male. I am living in honesty and I am striving to be the best version of myself that I can be. I am working on not to limit myself. I am taken by living my utmost potential.


I will be creative and create/design a word/world based on oneness and equality, where all life is considered – equally.

Creation is equality.


I am here in physical on planet earth. I am living breathing. My physical is my guide. My reality of that we are here on this earth trying to do our individual thing. I am here on earth, seeing abuse, separation, war, poverty, crimes, pollution and so on. I am here on earth to do what is best for all. I am here on this earth to be my very best example to others. To spread my nucleus of calamity, peace and consideration. I am here on earth to create a better life for all of us. All of life. I will honor life.  I am life. I life.



I see physical reality around me. What I can touch, smell, hear, see and sense. And I keep inn my awareness that this is less that a fragment of what is really going on around me, as of metaphysics and psychology/data. To further investigate what is “real” check out this link: to quantum mind.

I am alive, and I will honor life. I will commit myself to do what is best for all at all times.

What is real is what I sense with my awareness. What is real is my awareness.

My awareness is my reality.


Thank you !

arty farty

art by: Tormod Hvidsten Gjedrem