Tag Archives: decision

Day 729 – I place a guard…

My words. How, or who… is making choices to pick my words ? Do I chose words for what is best for all ? Do I build and create, consider, care and love with my words ?

 

Or… do I destroy, and hurt and ruin with my words ?

What is the intention of my words ?

I chose my words based on my mind, body, being and time/preprogrammed  experience. On what is common sense and what is best for all.

 

Now I would like to filter my words more precise, and more accurate and genuine. More organized, and structured. This is a change in my process :

So… how do I “control” myself to live this ?

Well it is as simple, as it is hard:

 

I place a guard at my mind

I place a guard at my mouth

I place a guard with my actions

 

I will tell this guard to make sure I create what is best for all to care, to embrace… I will tell this guard to guide me to do the right thing, to word myself for what is best for all,  and to not give into mind, ego and reactions…

Swiss_Guard-_LobozPics.jpg

I place a guard at my mind at my words and my actions… to live the desteni message of oneness and equality – what is best for all that must come through –  in my daily life.

 

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Day 572 – My relationship to ants and making a decision.

For further perspective I would suggest to also check out this link:

https://eqafe.com/p/the-consciousness-of-the-ant-part-1

full_the-consciousness-of-the-ant-part-1

My home have been invaded by ants for some time and I have been feeling helpless and lost in searching for what to do. I know that I should respect all life equally and treat them with consideration. But I cannot have them all over my kitchen. That would drive me into insanity. I have tried to talk to them but they seem not to listen. I am renting this apartment. It is the council that owns it. I know that if I should go to them and let them know that I have a ant issue – they would provide me with solution such as bug killing devices. Now, I have tried to talk to the ants. I have told them many times that they must leave. But they will not leave like that, and I feel helpless. So I have killed several of them with my own hands. They did not listen to my warning that I would throw them out so I killed them. Now this makes me sad and sometimes, almost sick to my guts, that I have had to do this, but I do not see other options. I realize that it is the emotions of self judging and regret that gets to me.

I was reminded of this one time, when I was a kid, I and a older guy would be terrorizing ants, where we were really cruel to them and we did what we could to ruin their nest. I remember we would throw water balloons at the ants nest to triggers a reaction with the ants.

I realize that I have been living this old character of being cruel to ants and other life form over in my head and over in my mind. I have been living that old character within my mind and by doing so providing myself with more to a bad feeling inside. A bad consciousness. l realize that I have been living this character over again. I feel bad from killing the ants in my kitchen, from my old memories of how I was zoosadistic as a young child. Particular to bugs. I realize that I have had no other choice but to kill the ants from my kitchen, since I could not see myself living with them. And my old histories of being cruel to bugs as a child have playing out within me.

Another point that is very essential is that I have not been consistent with my making a decision. I have killed some ants and then felt bad and going into regret. I have not stood my ground so to speak.

I will work through self forgiveness to take away the energies from this relations. Enjoy:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel bad for murdering some ants inn my kitchen and for making this into a big bad emotion ball within me, simply from my memory of being a young boy and having this urge to be mean to bugs and to torture bugs any way possible, where I see that I have been placing self judgment at myself simply from this older memory and living this over again and doing so I have been judging myself like telling myself that my process with fail as of this and making this into a huge point within me and real judging myself for this experience of making a decision to kill my ant in my kitchen.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to kill my ants in my kitchen as it would have been the solution any how from the council or other vise, and that I gave the ants a chance by telling them that they had to go, and where they did not listen so I killed them. And I see that it is the point of how I am not confirm and solid and strong and consistent with my choice, but going into regret and judging myself of actually taking action with my ants, that would make them stay and not crawl away, like the ants would notice that I was not consistent with my choice, and that I was not stabile within my choice that would make them come inn again time and after time, when I would be killing them, and then go back from my decision time and after time being all wiggly in my decision and not standing my ground at all and ending up with judging myself and feeling regret.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see how the points of regret and self judging is playing huge part within me of how I feel like I cannot trust myself and I end up all reacting and emotional thinking that I cannot make my process at all.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see how I was not standing my ground and standing by my decision at all that could have helped me in my situation of making firm decision of my choice but I was not 100 % certain, so the ants came back time and after time and I felt bad time after time.

When and as I see myself making a decision that is important, of doing something or to have a say in a matter. I stop and I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that when I make a decision I must stand by it. I realize that I cannot go back and change my decision over and over again it is not cool for anyone. I realize that I must learn to stand my ground. I realize that I cannot change my opinion on mater over and over again I must make a choice and stand by it. I realize that this happening with ants is simply one more occasion where I am not standing my ground – and there for I feel regret and judge myself. I realize that I should be able to make a decision and stand by it. I commit myself to stand by my descriptions and not fall down from my decision. I commit myself to have no ants inn my apartment and I see that it is also my responsibility since I rent this place. I commit myself to not have ants in my kitchen.

When and as I see myself heading into regret or self judging, I stop and I slow myself down, and I breathe. I realize that I have to overcome regret and self judging by taking my time and really investigating what is the issues at hand and debating and talking to myself what is this issue and making a best for all solution to the issue. I realize that I could have cleaner kitchen and that might keep bugs away. I commit myself to not make a big deal out of this and to keep blocking out regret and self judging as options, by doing what is best for all. I commit myself to my decisions. I commit myself to take my time, to further develop self communication and to talk to myself on what is best for all. I commit myself to block out regret and self judging by making the solution that is best for all.

The best immediate alternative : http://livingincome.me/

Living income guaranteed porposal: http://livingincome.me/wiki/The_Living_Income_Guaranteed_Proposal

Equal rights:

Desteni I process

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Desteni Stands for Oneness & Equality

http://desteni.org/

Free online writing course:

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

Destonians

http://destonians.com/

Develop self perfection:

https://eqafe.com/

Day 567 – Living words: decision

Living words: decision

Current allocation:

A decision is to me, like a choice only more important or sort of more “heavy”. A decision is to me something that one makes. One reaches it after comparing and after validating pro and cons and after having investigated the case of study/matter. And out from this I developed a decision. I would think decisions can be very important, I often find it difficult to make decisions, since a decision would lead to a act, or to / not a act. It would drive me into reactions literally, over not being able to reach my decision. I would think that important decisions are often made by old men in suits in meeting rooms and in conferences and in the various, so called, democratic institutions around this world. I would think of a decision for myself would be like should I have fish or meat to dinner? Or decision like should I have a morning shower or not ? I would weigh the pro and cons of the outcome and make my decision. Decisions to drive to the city to a cafe and by a coffee and a piece of cake, or deciding to work on writings like this here, and ; this is a decision for me to write this. Equally I would think that my life would be better if I did not have to make decisions at all. I think that I struggle a lot with making decisions because of corruption and crime made from decisions/democracies in this world.

Dictionary definition:

decision : a conclusion or resolution reached after consideration.

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Etymology:

decision (n.)

mid-15c., from Middle French decision (14c.), from Latin decisionem (nominative decisio) “a decision, settlement, agreement,” noun of action from past participle stem of decidere (see decide). Decision making (adjective, also decision-making) is recorded from 1953.

Sounding of the word:

there – sits – John

the – sion

this – is – sion

d – session ( a lot of D -s)

Polarity:

Negative: I would think that too much decisions are made my corrupt politicians, and “hidden” elite people, and this influences me to make my own, bad, decisions in my life. It causes doubt within me. I realize that decisions made by politicians today, like business deals, are based on corruption and crimes and not much at all, of what is best for all. I realize that I as many others, struggle with making the right decisions – because of how I see the crappy decision made by politicians in this life. And this confuses me big time, to make my own decisions in my everyday life and I feel like I am unable to make good decisions. And with me as with many other, I fall into abuse/reactions, like the so called leaders do, and we all make, or made before, the wrong decisions. I realize that I judge myself, both before and after making my decision and that my decision is wrong and bad anyhow.

Positive: I would like to make good decisions for the best of all. This is a word that I would like to practice well. I would like to see positive results from my decisions. I would like to smoothen my decision making so it is easy. Decisions can be done for what is best for all. And for that, we need change from today’s system, and I will stand up for that change and make it happen.

Creative writing:

Decisions is something that we make after weighing pro and cons. From investigating. To consider the question and outcome for the best of all. There are different decisions, like there is different cultures in this world. I realize that we need to change the whole picture of who is in charge of this world and to take away the world leaders of today. Like there is many “Johns” sitting at the computers and at their desks, in front of the TV screen, doing nothing but feeding the mind its energies, and not participating, in the world, not making actual decisions/change, being decided for from media/elite, simply passive sitting and not doing anything at all. They are ruled over from politicians making decisions for them. They are the salves of this world; they are, part of the 99 %.

The many John’s that are sitting thinking only of themselves, in leading positions, that is not for the good of all. The many Johns that are sitting in the different governments, and in the different chairs of power are not doing what is best for all. I realize that it is a cool solution to stand and make my voice be heard. I prefer to stand and be a change – without reacting/violence. I commit myself to the decision to change this picture so that all voices are heard and that no one is left out that would be real decision making and a community based on what is best for all. Decisions need not be that many or that hard like they are today. There would be fewer and fewer problems to solve in a future where everyone gets to speak. Decisions can be made easy, by letting everyone speak, and for the best of all, like with direct online democracy, where everyone participates. Equally. I realize that when I struggle to make a decision I can write pro and cons to figure out what to do and how to act in the given moment, over the question and then, also, slow down, and make my decision, based on what is best for all.

Self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I make bad decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am programmed to make bad decisions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to make bad decisions and then blame it on the politician from how they make bad decision, in politics – failing to realize that politics is here now everyday all the time in real life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to make decisions because of how I see politician of today make crappy and corrupt decisions that makes me fearful of making a single decision equally in my life, that might sound easy like to visit someone or to go swimming , or take a morning shower. It all becomes so damn hard.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I consider it my big weakness to not be able to make good decision at all, and I would start to react within this question of making good decisions and I would judge myself as week and wrong because of how I see politicians as corrupt and wrong, and fearing to do the same myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of the word “there sits John” like, he (John) is a boss or a ruler of some kind and I would think of John the Baptist from the Bible, and how we would Baptize people in the water/river and I align this with how hard it could be to achieve good personal hygiene and to have a clean and cozy home, that is difficult for many, many people, that I would see is relevant for this word and the sounding of it.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to fear how people in power are really bad leaders and I would fear that they would should “do” much bad decision making, and that their decisions are harmful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to make a decision for myself on the many different things that I can take part in within my life that I would fear to take part in because I would fear the decision making involved.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame all the passive “Johns” out there for simply sitting doing nothing in front of the TV and not taking active part in changing this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to feel a urge to hide and suppress my desire for good decisions within my physical and within my being so that I am eventually ending up with a lot of surprised wrong decisions within me, feeling bad for making wrong decisions over how I would think of humanity and life as one, and think that I would corrupt myself by the idea of finding my answers from my thoughts and my thinking, which I would consider wrong, to go into thoughts/stress.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the believe that there is a certain awareness with the “sitting John” like “sitting bull”, that we are all waking up to a new era of time and a change in the wind like Bob Dylan would have said it in his song – and that we are the change we have been waiting for.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I find that I need more time to make the right decision in my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that in the future we would not need to decide that much because we would live like it was heaven – for all and everyone on this planet.

When and as I see myself, standing in front or a type of question or something where I need to make a decision and I notice resistance/fear. I stop, and I slow myself down, and I breathe. I realize that I need to take my time to make, the very best choice within a decision. I realize that I can write pro and con’s to the matter and to have the mathematical result of pro and con. I realize that I can gather my results from my experience of making a pie chart and looking at what factors that are there, and what is positive and what is negative and forgive for the charges, and release the energy that are charged within the pro and the con/result. I realize that I must take my time with this process of all my choices and my decisions. I commit myself to slow myself down within my decision making. I commit myself to slow myself down, within my decisions, and to take it more easy, and not stress or haste my decision/choice.

For more living words: http://forum.desteni.org/viewforum.php?f=147