Tag Archives: court

Day 752 – self judgment

 

 

self goat

painting by me

 

 

Self judgment:

I notice today that I live in self judgment. This is noticeable by me mostly from seeing the core design of the self judgment.  I have been able to take a step back and see where does it come from ? And funny enough (this time) it comes from TV and movies, documentaries and fiction.

I have seen so many movies and series/drama about court rulings and layers life. I have made a very energetic picture/drama of the lawyers and the judges, and the happening within so.

I would think of a court as a game. A game to win or lose, and from history the game is rigged against me. Because the court is the rich – system – powers play ground. It is there together with for instance doctors to make the gap, wider between classes in society.

So I have been projecting this onto others, how I “dislike” lawyers (and doctors) and I have been living in that self judgment myself where I am the judge, lawyer, police man, victim and criminal. It is like a circus of role play to me. Very common to my schizophrenic mind. This all strikes back at me and causes pain and disturbance within me. I see now that I live this self judgment and I need to come to a acceptance and embracing of me. And let go of the energetic looping/judging of mind.

 

Self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play on the polarity of positive pole, popular rich lawyer, and winning in court; and negative pole;  looser criminal and being sentenced in court.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my issues of law and the court/lawyer life onto others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I will not be a celebrity or a star simply a looser clown from the polarity of LA – LAW series I relate to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of myself as the loosing/sad clown and that I am lost as of present since courts still have a say in this world (today).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I suck at being a clown, but it is still a mask to hide behind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to the voices of the sad clown in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mock myself with judgments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mock myself with law.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play on the polarity of taking law serious or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play myself in my clown – circus of court/law.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the TV series LA-LAW where I live and act like a playboy from California in the 80’s.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to the phrases from TV drama and documentaries in my head over and over again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so obsessed with judgments that I  have a energetic party within the room of court and judges.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I know enough about law to outsmart a judge, and to play the court for a fool.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cling on to different  theories about law and justice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deep down fear judges and lawyers and to think that they as a group don’t serve life, and they are abuse within the system and should not be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that deep down the court system is a scam and a mind trickery, and it just tricked me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel abused by the law system of this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play myself out like clown and a comedian about law trying to mock the court that is in my head/mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take myself serious when I say that courts and lawyers of today are by structure, definition and design not supporting life – they should not be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play myself out like clown and a comedian about law trying to mock the court that is in my head/mind – fooling myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attack the law/court system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play myself out like clown and a comedian about law trying to mock the court that is in my head/mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can distance myself from self judgments, failing to realize that I then  distance myself from me/my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see nothing but judgments and to live in this sentence of “I sentence you to” or other similar words from TV/movies court rooms drama.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel stuck and fucked by the design of self judgment and within this addicting to it and feeling like I can let it go it is on me like a magnet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my self – judgments with my eyes/seeing and my own moral of judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on the self judgment like my pair of glasses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I have to live with myself judgment failing to see the solution to accept myself and to embrace and value my self – instead of judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel fucked by the law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel raped by the law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel deeply abused by law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel corrupted by law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like shit from law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like puking and “giving up” from law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that law is not me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the law that we see today (protecting greed/ego) is doomed.

 

 

Self corrections to be lived:

I commit myself to accept myself and to investigate myself and my mind and sort out all my shit.

I commit myself to expose the old system / self /mind /law and to remove it all breathe by breathe, step by step, and create a new system that is a system that is best for all.

I commit myself to embrace myself – no matter what.

 

Realizing / clarity:

  • I need acceptance of me to be able to see into me and this grants me access/accept into my mind/body/world/imaginations.
  • self judgement is not real it is fiction and imaginations.
  • courts and such law we see today is not going to last.
  • I have a response – ability to create new systems  to replace the old.
  • To me with my schizophrenia, self judgement is still very real/in my eyes.
  • There is no need to judge – we are all equals.

 

 

Link to another blog on self judgments:

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/03/day-704-self-acceptance-vs-self.html

 

 

 

other links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

 

 

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Day 687 – Dominant personality of self judgement

When working with the self and with mind/psychology, you can’t miss to deal with personalities. We all have lived and are living personalities and characters. So what is a personality ? A personality is a person / prison of self. I look at it like we are pin- needles. A personality is like a pin needle from design, or a battery – with plus and minus. Positive and negative. This is the clean, methaphysical  essence of it. And it is also important to understand that it is a polarity. From that containing of positive and negative. Like fear is polarity of love.  And remember that you can’t have the one without the other polarity. A universal and natural law. We all have to deal with this matters – sooner or later.

pinfearlove.jpg

I am here looking at my personality of self judging, where I judge myself. A rather tough and dominant character who I would like to see gone. Dissolved like … nothing.

And it is possible. From self forgiveness, I can release all the energies, voices etc  and all the polarities from my body and from there walk self corrections to change.

So I delete the pin needle and let go of the energy suffering. You can do it to, just check out how with the tools of desteni.org

 

enjoy:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I was done with personalities and thinking they are all gone ; it is over, but now coming “back” and doing a good job with it all clearing out all leftovers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel dragged of bored with “having to start with personalities again”

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make this personality of dominant self judgment into a  more and stronger personality by calling it “dominant”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I see myself making up this game of judgment to myself where I see that it is ultimately me in a type of dominant judge character that is making up all the backchats and thoughts where I judge myself, and where I see that this person where I needs to change to eventually let go of self judgment and victimizing of myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to take responsibility for this person because it seems so well established within myself within my programming and that it goes so deep within my physical, that I fear to take on the task.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that this person/prison character is more than a personality or character where I give this person or character value for being more than what it is.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face this personality out of fear of consequences or that this personality should become angry at me  for that reason.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on sexual dominant words and voices from this character, where I learn that is my schizophrenia, and I let the words from this dominant character spin in my head/mind and make my life hell.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take orders, voices and messages from this dominant character/troll within.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that all is not yet known with this character of a judge/judgment archetype.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see myself in court in the ordinary owned by the crown city of London, under Roman catholic law; court, since I don’t suit into mind and the old system and since, I oppose it with a better solution, to reverse it from a debt/death system to  life/responsible system that is good for life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to stand trial to myself and my likings and my desires with and as thoughts, imaginations and backchats.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to dream away in ideas and thoughts about how a court could be a good court and to suit life and not like currently death and corruption.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I reason with myself with thinking it all related back to substance, to life, me, here, physical and my actions.

kingcrimson