Tag Archives: change

Day 797 – Learning to know myself as the physical

 

These days I am more and more opening up the level of physicality within me – as my body. This means a awareness, stability and groundedness within my physical body. A intimacy, into-me-I-see. My body is advanced and is processing and changing itself – just like the components of the beeingness and the mind of man, is also complex and are components of who I am with everything what that means.

For a deeper context please investigate these interviews where Jesus talks about redefining the physical :

https://eqafe.com/p/redefining-physical-the-crucifixion-of-jesus-part-109

https://eqafe.com/p/redefining-physical-part-2-the-crucifixion-of-jesus-part-110

https://eqafe.com/p/redefining-physical-part-3-the-crucifixion-of-jesus-part-111

full_redefining-physical-the-crucifixion-of-jesus-part-109

Because what have the physical been ? All my life I have been living in projections and thoughts, imaginations and mind loops, energetic rides, and not the physical reality. Can you see this? Living as the mind box ?  What I  have been experiencing and living for most of my life,  is the metaphysical, mind, personalities, energies and thoughts. And such have been my reason for defining reality. It has been a long lie. That I have be lie ved inn.

So discovering my body, being with my body, my different parts of me, my intestine,  liver, my heart, being aware of my blood, my cells as one and many, and seeing it all in  a holistic perspective and realization. Slowing down and being with myself  in self support. Enjoying the moment, the plant on my table, the good boot on my feet, the taste of dinner, the coffee, the walk, petting the dog – enjoying life and myself within it. Literally communicating with my body on a totally new way. My body is storage of such a waste load of information, and it will communicate with me. A flue is for instance a way that the body communicates, or a rash, or back pain, all the things that are physical, also sensations and the more “liberating” experiences from for instance yoga or self forgiveness are ways to open up to the body and to communicate with it.

 

For me it is the slowing down and breathing, finding comfort in myself making a self forgiveness statement within myself, or spoken out load. To look into and learn to know my body, to live and act as my body, that is a real challenge. Because the body is my matter of life, and life, is one, equal and one. So for me to live equal and one is the big deal here.  To step by step become real, common sensical and self honest.

You could say that my body is my teacher. Or my master within the trinity of mind, being and body. Learning, expanding and growing with my physical as grounding point.

Me finding the integrity and self honesty to look into my body, to learn to know myself as the flesh, is a big discovery, and it takes time and patience to learn this, and to develop trust within  communication and to live what the physical is teaching me.

 

Basically it is from moment to moment to live self forgiveness in practical terms. To not allow myself to go into reacting and judging/emotions for anything at all. Let me give you some examples of how deep this goes. For instance if I dislike the color of a house, or the way a person is walking or is dressed. Or I judge a tattoo, or I judge  and dislike a picture in the news. It covers anything and all. Literally becoming one with life.

49423d23-72ab-40cb-bfa4-bd2f1e674f5f

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

 

Day 789 – Change without to change within

full_change-without-to-change-within-quantum-systemization-part-157

Interview here: https://eqafe.com/p/change-without-to-change-within-quantum-systemization-part-157

 

In this interview we are presented the case study of a individual, who walked consistent with yoga to be able to embody and live words to further quantify the process of self. From consciousness to awareness.

Consistent and doing what one know will assist one. We all know deep within what can be of assistance and of support.  Also this describes the method to change without to change within. To live the words that we use of support. Like with yoga, it is self who has to become relaxed and patient, slowing down, and calm. It is not the yoga that provides these words that is the self. But the structure of yoga can assist with this and bring words forth, then the individual can grow and evolve and expand in these words – as these words.

 

To integrate such words, relax, patience, slow down, calm, gentleness, – words we all more or less strive to live in our daily life. Words that can be relate to the yoga or a stretching experience, can be assisted with yoga for self to embody, as living words to expand self.

 

So yoga can be a touch of difference and change in the process of becoming more of self through living words and to expand self.

 

Check out the interview to further understand how to embody and live words, through applications such as yoga.

 

I also started doing yoga a week ago, consistent every night before bed. Looking forward to see what fruits this will bring me and my process of change.

 

 

Let’s change  !

 

Enjoy !

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

 

Day 783 – serious

Living serious

 

andre-bjerke-amor-fati-tormod-hvidsten-gjedrem

Who am I as the word serious ? The word serious can be quite interesting.

Let’s look at this word in my native tongue – Norwegian, let’s play and investigate this word.

Ser I oss ?

Ser dere oss ?

Can tho see us ?

Can you see me ?

Ser I ous –  can you see me/us ?

It ends up like a question, if I am visible or not. If anyone can see me. So what should make one stick out in a crowd ? What draws our attention on what premises ?

Let’s dive into this… We humans are a result of cultural and multilayered programming and upbringing. Consisting of memories, words,  data, energies, conscious, sub-conscious and unconscious mind that have made a myriad of impacts on us as beings. I mean we have gone thought some nasty shit to end up like we have, with constant war, crimes, inequality, pollution, abuse of life, rape, murder, ignorance and that list goes on & on. The human creation. Not a lot to be proud of – so far !

 

Most of us live under cultural influence and a undisputable demand to consume and  live according to polarized and painful energy surges and experiences  – constantly chasing the newest gadget, theme, movie, tech, money, porn, clothing, mobile, drug, hype etc.

 

We are driven by our minds (!) desire to do “this” over “that”.  Within a fraction of a  second we make our minds to chose, Paris Hilton over Naomi Klein, or Simone de Beauvoir,  we chose a coca cola, over a carrot or water, or porn instead of self investigation,  we choose violent computer games over writing our life story and reading books about perma culture. Can you agree to this  ?? We drive and chase porn, video games, and celebrities, energies, we do anything, all the time to have more money, and to improve our status above others in compare. This is still the core human drive of mentality.  This have been going on for some time now.

 

So why should I be serious, why should people look at one ? What makes one so special ?

To be special today, in a smart way, to be serious,  is to chose to be responsible to have awareness, and self honesty with ones living. To see and work with how minds has us in a dead lock position.  To address the programming within self, of energies and imagination within, being it emotions, believes, thoughts, addictions, personalities, behaviors, ingrained patterns, judgment, fears or desires. To see it all and I expose it, document it, chose to delete it with self forgiveness. To know how it came about, to prevent it to come again.

Here is a catch, If I don’t know what is driving me into fear then how can I stop fear ? If I don’t know the details and specifics of fear, how it origins and operates, then how to delete it ? And we know that fear feeds anger and so the spiral of abuse goes. And we see the conflict in the world as a direct result.

I am serious because I in full debt and consideration take measure of my mind, and chose to work through it, with the very best tool of self forgiveness.

 

I use myself and my life and living as example. I puzzle all that I have been, all my parts I dissolve and place back together after deleting the energy (addiction) involved. I am ser – I – us because I make myself un-corrupt in relation to energies/money. I delete all the element that have led me to the reactions, voices in the head, addictions, fears, judgments, ignorance, believes and so on. I take life serious. Still though;  I don’t want to separate myself into a “good person”,  a “Jesus character”, personality construct, no. I just want to share my earnest, sincere, and honest consideration of how I live my life and the experiences such.

Either to blame any type of programing – because that is all it is. Programs. If I blame something or someone that is a signal that I have something to take responsibility for in my living.

 

So again it is to “know thy self”  – meaning to know the physical, to know self from the flesh. To have a certain awareness of oneness energy relationship. To know how mind works, and gradually take charge of oneness mind and then ones living. To change. To be serious. It does not mean to be boring and dull and grey… no then we have missed the point. And besides that is a assumption and a judgment of others or self. To be serious it to learn self as all the self is, and to become responsible with ones process and living. To know the minds yoga and to learn how systems of mind works. To dissolve the mind systems before it manifests. To take a stand for change. Real honest and genuine. And fail me not: being serious, can be done in a clownish way. That is serious. I chose to be serious, I chose to stand up !

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

12238440_743707765773568_3625376800591571375_o

Day 781 – Dragging along old mind junk – mind recycled

Dragging along old mind junk – mind recycled

Who am I as a creator ? What do I truly create ?

Something that I was recently made aware of, and that I in self honesty also knew of, is how I drag with me old mind junk, and mind data from the past that I would like to say that is gone and that I am done with – that is still here. Some of the old dominating systems of my mind. Things like “self judgment” and “fear” – systems. These two buggers in particular.  Some of the very dominant system that we as humans carry. These systems, have very deep seated roots on the humans experience. And people walk through life without properly dealing with it. This has effect on life as we know it on earth today  – as well as for the afterlife and infinite existence of humans. Now, I have tools to work through this, I know how to heal and how to work through this and … literally I know how to change. It is only myself who is responsible for not changing. I have self forgiveness, self honesty, living words, breathe, etc, and I should know how to balance this by now. There is no excuse for me to not change.

 

Still my mind programming is heavy. And in this interview of Annuaki he explains how this responsibility is mostly missed by humans, that we are not creating for real – we drag with us old systems, still.

So these two systems, self judgment and fear, are poking me like crazy. And they should – because I should not need to be mind slave within such a equation. Thing is that I see that my consciousness is recycling itself like it did before. Making old problems new again, “making suffering great again”…lol…within mind,  making fear into anger, and self judgment into blame and so on. So I must stop it and alter – create a better reality.

 

e775f728-61c8-47e5-8656-c718453c4ea6.jpg

 

 

self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to drag on specifically fear and self judgment, where I think to myself that some of the things I have done is unforgivable to myself as a being, and that I would think in my mind that me in my afterlife/reflection would not be forgiven, by my beingness,  for some of my deeds/thoughts on this earth, missing the picture of how I let my conscious mind dictate me into thinking “I am not good enough” – “I am not forgiven enough”, “I can’t do this” and ending up in fear and in self judgment – mind systems recycled.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel a moral obligation to drag with me fear and self judgment thinking everyone does this and so should I, not seeing or reflecting on how the word “moral” in this world,  protects the very abusers (religion, war, government etc), and within so I am not better than anyone else, for dragging with me fear and self-judgment like emotions that I am eager to give away, and look into my beingness/awareness, and how I need to dump & delete these emotions once and for all.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to undermine, the thought that  I can make a drawing and a picture or some arts about me leaving “my old emotions”, and systems behind and not fully seeing, how drawing and arts it could assist me in quantifying my process.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to find it fascinating and yet disturbing to see how I find it very hard to dump of me, these systems (fears, self judgments) and at the same time how eager mind is to pick it up and  recycle it into my living/suffering.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be fascinated by my mind.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to give my mind direction, and a “occupation”.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I had not been able to see or fully realize and comprehend, that as long as I drag with me the constructs/concept of fear and self judgment, my mind will know so, detect so,  l and it will make a big thing/addiction/suffering/recycleling out of it – since both fear and self judgment  are mind based systems.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the desire to see into my fears and my self judgment, like  a desire to see it diminish and disappear,  like to kiss it good bye for good where I would indulge in memories and my mind would catch up with me and “boom”… the mind systems are recycled.

 

When and as I see myself going into re – inventing fear and self judgment, I stop myself, I take a deep breath, and I slow the fuck down.  I have come to realize that I must know my fears and my self judgments – and from there “weed them out” from a distance. To see them, within self, to alter within self and change as self so that awareness/focus/reality is something else, and not fear, and self judgment. I realize that I have all the tools I need to get through this, I must simply slow down and find myself stable and ready to create best for all/best for  me solutions.

 

I commit myself to be with my tools, and my support to give myself chores and creative tasks. I commit myself to stay busy, creative but slow and commonsensical.

 

b617830a-3ca6-4655-b951-ddf5325296f0.jpg

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

Day 780 – Master of War – Life Review

link to product:

 

https://eqafe.com/p/master-of-war-life-review

 

full_master-of-war-life-review

This is a product from eqafe library, called a life a life review. Where the portal brings through a being from the other side, literally  from the dead. A being comes through the portal to share its life review. In this particular interview a being shares the deep regret after having lived a life within pushing the measures of war. A being who lived on earth, creating and pushing war, corruption, militarism,  and war systems onto this world.

 

It goes to tell us what this means, and how this war system really is a deep rooted disease, that is ruining lives and livelihood of people who it affect. It lets us know how the war and conflict created by this individual has a effect on others. People look up to this individual for living war. Spreading the disease and infection of war and military, into generations beyond. And within so, the masters of war are being admired. It explains how this person who lived a life in war, is simply deeply sorry, for having lived like a life like that causing conflict, military and war.  And that it affects this being even in the afterlife.

 

Who we are in thought, word and deed matters – beyond.

 

It goes to show that even after death (!) this person becomes this infectious disease of war, violence and militarism. It also creates this concept of people looking up to the masters of war like they are heroic and brave form being so militant and possessed by war. People would and are still making such a characters into heroes and leaders and that are followed.

Investigate this very fine and detailed interview to see what lies behind the militant behaviors and drive, the militant leaders and how we can learn to see through this and create solutions beyond the contagious disease of war.

 

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

Day 767 – choice

If I can make that choice

Right now I have Michael Jackson in my head.. :

“I am looking at the man in the mirror…”

 

I am looking at me in the mirror, and In self honesty and integrity, I can see that there are things within myself that I can change. I am sure it is that way with you also. 100 % sure!

Thing is we all want a better world. We want a good life, peace and prosperity for all… right ? If that is not the case – then I would say that you are mentally ill, and many of us are, mentally ill without taking it into consideration. Such a shame.

 

That choice can be a turning point in self, like it is to me. We all have choices in our lives. We all have that something we can do for the greater good. We all can do more to assist self to a better living. We can listen to the common sense, what the body tells us – and to not listen to minds, energetic desires – that will always, always deceive us.

So if I can make that choice in my life maybe I can assist others on doing the same. My choice is about several things, but mostly it is me and my living where I am. It is about being more physical. It is also about writing more. I have been focusing on to do more physical work. Living on a farm there is always work to be done and my body very much enjoys the work. Though my mind will reject it from losing its grip on me and at the same time I also bring forth my being. And that is what this is about; to honor the physical and bring forth ones being and not give mind its space and attention. It is a big job and it may seem difficult, but consistent work and pushing self will carry through. To just do it and jump out of comfort zones and do the work, what needs to be done.

 

Because it s from honoring and caring for my physical and bringing forth my being, together with living words and self honesty that I can change, expand and evolve – be better myself.

Not giving mind attention and space.

And through writing I can understand, realize, forgive and direct myself.

 

Bilder fra iphone 270

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to avoid physical work and to avoid taking part in it, making excuses that my body hurts and it is weary.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make excuses about my living to not have to go to work simply from fear of confronting my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see the reward in doing physical work.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to jump out of my comfort zone.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear the unknown.

 

I commit myself to be more consistent and also flexible with my physical like to do more yoga.

I commit myself to do more yoga.

I commit myself to write more and to expose and share more of my living.

 

 

 

Check out the links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

Day 752 – self judgment

 

 

self goat

painting by me

 

 

Self judgment:

I notice today that I live in self judgment. This is noticeable by me mostly from seeing the core design of the self judgment.  I have been able to take a step back and see where does it come from ? And funny enough (this time) it comes from TV and movies, documentaries and fiction.

I have seen so many movies and series/drama about court rulings and layers life. I have made a very energetic picture/drama of the lawyers and the judges, and the happening within so.

I would think of a court as a game. A game to win or lose, and from history the game is rigged against me. Because the court is the rich – system – powers play ground. It is there together with for instance doctors to make the gap, wider between classes in society.

So I have been projecting this onto others, how I “dislike” lawyers (and doctors) and I have been living in that self judgment myself where I am the judge, lawyer, police man, victim and criminal. It is like a circus of role play to me. Very common to my schizophrenic mind. This all strikes back at me and causes pain and disturbance within me. I see now that I live this self judgment and I need to come to a acceptance and embracing of me. And let go of the energetic looping/judging of mind.

 

Self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play on the polarity of positive pole, popular rich lawyer, and winning in court; and negative pole;  looser criminal and being sentenced in court.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project my issues of law and the court/lawyer life onto others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I will not be a celebrity or a star simply a looser clown from the polarity of LA – LAW series I relate to.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of myself as the loosing/sad clown and that I am lost as of present since courts still have a say in this world (today).

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I suck at being a clown, but it is still a mask to hide behind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to the voices of the sad clown in my head.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mock myself with judgments.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to mock myself with law.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play on the polarity of taking law serious or not.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play myself in my clown – circus of court/law.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to live in the TV series LA-LAW where I live and act like a playboy from California in the 80’s.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to the phrases from TV drama and documentaries in my head over and over again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be so obsessed with judgments that I  have a energetic party within the room of court and judges.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I know enough about law to outsmart a judge, and to play the court for a fool.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to cling on to different  theories about law and justice.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deep down fear judges and lawyers and to think that they as a group don’t serve life, and they are abuse within the system and should not be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to realize that deep down the court system is a scam and a mind trickery, and it just tricked me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel abused by the law system of this world.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play myself out like clown and a comedian about law trying to mock the court that is in my head/mind.

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to take myself serious when I say that courts and lawyers of today are by structure, definition and design not supporting life – they should not be.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play myself out like clown and a comedian about law trying to mock the court that is in my head/mind – fooling myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to attack the law/court system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to play myself out like clown and a comedian about law trying to mock the court that is in my head/mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can distance myself from self judgments, failing to realize that I then  distance myself from me/my mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see nothing but judgments and to live in this sentence of “I sentence you to” or other similar words from TV/movies court rooms drama.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel stuck and fucked by the design of self judgment and within this addicting to it and feeling like I can let it go it is on me like a magnet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify my self – judgments with my eyes/seeing and my own moral of judgment.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on the self judgment like my pair of glasses.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I have to live with myself judgment failing to see the solution to accept myself and to embrace and value my self – instead of judging myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel fucked by the law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel raped by the law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel deeply abused by law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel corrupted by law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like shit from law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like puking and “giving up” from law/court/lawyers.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that law is not me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the law that we see today (protecting greed/ego) is doomed.

 

 

Self corrections to be lived:

I commit myself to accept myself and to investigate myself and my mind and sort out all my shit.

I commit myself to expose the old system / self /mind /law and to remove it all breathe by breathe, step by step, and create a new system that is a system that is best for all.

I commit myself to embrace myself – no matter what.

 

Realizing / clarity:

  • I need acceptance of me to be able to see into me and this grants me access/accept into my mind/body/world/imaginations.
  • self judgement is not real it is fiction and imaginations.
  • courts and such law we see today is not going to last.
  • I have a response – ability to create new systems  to replace the old.
  • To me with my schizophrenia, self judgement is still very real/in my eyes.
  • There is no need to judge – we are all equals.

 

 

Link to another blog on self judgments:

http://activistsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2015/03/day-704-self-acceptance-vs-self.html

 

 

 

other links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/