Tag Archives: bothers

Day 684 -Suicide is not a solution to the problems

girl face

 

I have been going into corrupting myself , the last days/weeks, with thoughts,  that suicide could help me and get over my problems. I think my life is too tough to live so I think of suicide. I look at death as a solution to my problems.  It is like I think that my pain and my bothers would then disappear if I would die. That is not so. I know now from having investigated, and having support from other destonians,  that if I die I take with me all my bothers and all my troubles from this here life to the afterlife, only multiple in matter.

So that relief is not there. When I think that death is a solution and I picture myself as dead, everything is sad and depressive. I picture myself as  dead and everything becomes black and sad. So death is not a relief of oneness problems. Hell no.

Please check out this important video about suicide :

Self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for the fact that I am schizophrenic and within that thinking about suicide as a sort of revenge to end my life to get back at them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my problems and issues would simply disappear, with ending my life, when it proves that is not so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents experience of mind  and how that experience created schizophrenia within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my trouble and issues with  schizophrenia would disappear if I should die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can escape from  myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think there exists a quick fix within suicide.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I need a quick fix.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I miss and long for people that I knew that have died and that I could reunite with them in the afterlife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to go back into old addiction patterns of sex addictions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to start to do drugs or to drink again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to end up giving into energy addictions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous at other people that I imagine has a better life and they look so special and cool etc.. when they live in the same world as me, they shit like me and they live within this world of atrocities; like me, telling me that we are all in this together.

 

When and as I see myself ending up thinking death is a solution or that I will be saved with death etc… I stop myself I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that if I should die I take with me all my bothers still to the afterlife. I realize that I must sort out my shit here where I am at in this life. I realize that I miss lot of people that have died but dying myself will not be a party or a relief as I take with me all my bothers to the afterlife. I realize that death is not a solution as I see that I take with me my issues and bothers.

 

I commit myself to live and to honor life

I commit myself to be of assistance

I commit myself to breathe

I commit myself to be with my physical

I commit myself to self honesty

I commit myself to self forgiveness

 

b r e a t h e  – check out desteni.org

 

here is another blog on the topic :

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/06/day-412-suicide-is-never-act-of-self.html

 

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Day 521 – Equal and one with shame.

I have for a long time carried a certain degree of shame within me. The shame that is present within me is rooted in my childhood and within the experience of being thought that, there is a specific difference between right and wrong, good and bad, and most specifically, heaven and hell. This false awareness would stain my conscious through almost all my life. A child is taught that there is a difference between heaven and hell, good and bad, and the difference between good and bad, black and white. And still children of this earth is not thought, the specific difference, between a emotion and a feeling. They are the same as energies but difference in the actual living life. And further how we are enslaved to thoughts, feelings and emotions, round and round into infinity. We are thought that there is good and bad, positive and negative but we are still not taught to express our emotions specifically. We are taught this trough TV and mass media, school and society to think positive. Focus on the plus pole, while wee are also then, feeding the negative polarity within unconscious. Which is a creating war, within so without.

So that explained. I have a certain degree of shame within me. I am shameful and I would like to move beyond this shame. Enough is enough. I realize that I let this shame direct me into having more and more shame and ending up with judging myself within this shame, and experiencing that this shame is making my life hell because I was not thought in school or elsewhere to be prepared for this. If you want to be kind to your child, teach the child words. All sorts of words. Tell them words where they can learn to express, and evolve from the ordinary enslavement off thoughts, feelings and emotions from Disney & My little Kitty etc.

I was, as millions before me and millions after me have been taught that there is good and bad, right and wrong, mostly as of the outside world. How to blame. That the energies that we have within our bodies are simply feelings, all of them, and that one is not allowed to show emotions and that only feelings are allowed. I realize that I have grown quite extensive with joining desteni team. Desteni I process pro. l had to learn that, there is heaven and there is hell, but there is also in between, there is also here now me physical. That we can create into heaven. But I have had a hard time to understand there is emotions, also. I had been completely brainwashed by school, and society. But now I have learned that there is more than just feelings to a feeling. There is also emotions, this can be hard to understand to very many people. As it was to me.

I realize that through living the Jesus message I can change myself. Love thy neighbor as thy self. I realize that through teaching others and the coming generation about emotions and energies within the physical and also within life in general about how energies are in relations to humans and to our minds. I commit myself to teach from my knowledge and awareness that there are distinct differences between feelings and emotions.

So I have these marks on my past within my mind conscious system a degree of shame from my past. How do I move from that ? How can I lay behind me and move on within my life from this shame after forgiven it ? I need to make a clear statement of commitment to myself to nail it to physical sort of.

I commit myself to learn other people what I have learned of what emotions are. I commit myself to teach children and others that there is more than just feelings to a expression and that there is more to mind than conscious.

I commit myself to break down taboos within my world where I see that they are causing corruption and fear. And I commit myself to learn methods of teaching away my knowledge and information and to let other people learn from me and to become that cool old teacher that I dreamt of as a child.

I commit myself to be solution oriented and to provide myself with commonsense perspectives and to do what is best for all always. I commit myself to think like a child and to use my brain and my body to evolve and bring solutions to life from all the problems that I face. I commit myself to let shame be where shame is and to move myself in awareness from shame and stop myself when I go into self judging from such a reason. I commit myself to teach children new words and to help them evolve as who they are within their lives. I commit myself to leave behind shame and to leave behind shame that is making life hell for me. I commit myself to leave shame behind as to rather think like a child within my living and life possibilities. I commit myself to take my possibilities with me further inn life and to engage in work for instance. I commit myself to live my life and to realize myself and to realize my fullest potential.   I commit myself to stand in absolute equality and oneness to everything that I may face. I commit myself to within my life to do what is best for all.

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Investigate: http://desteni.org/
Check out a free writing course: http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/
Lets delete poverty: http://livingincome.me/
Self perfection: https://eqafe.com/