Tag Archives: bible

Day 769 – Camphill living

Perspective on living in a ecological farm

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cows out to grass

Camphill villages is ecologically driven villages and farms and communities that is suited and designed to people with disabilities and needs, who don’t usually fit into the larger hectic/capitalistic society/system. Personally I am diagnosed with schizophrenia.

My camphill life is structured so I can work my way through my schizophrenia with walking with the tools of desteni.org

I just realized that from me living on a ecological, camphill farm and village it gives me the opportunity to have structure. HUH ! We all need some sort of structure and organizing to function optionally. To me structure is like a pattern of organizing – it gives me a sense of control in my living. And after that freedom within the application/task !

I live in a camphil village in the south west of Norway. I have lived here since 01.07.2016. Let me tell you that life here is truly swell. Now there are so many different ways to be living life here on this earth and I would say I am truly grateful for living where I am and under these conditions that is present.

It gives me routines and structure. I provides me with cultural and spiritual/emotional insight. It serves me the best and healthiest of food. It grounds me with good work for the body. It gives me inspiring and touching and dear talks and interactions. It provides me with very dear friendship and colleges and hugs, and it is a international touch to it with people here from all corners of the world.

Life here is season based. And there are things like Bible study groups and practice of Christian tradition. This is of course voluntary if ones chooses to participate or not. I find the Bible study group very interesting – I get to share my insights and perspective from this important historical script.

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me after a days work

Now in the spring I can walk outside and pick my food of herbs from the garden. I can go swim in the fjord or in a freshwater stream, and enjoy a talk, a flower, a goat  … on my way to do so.

There are currently goats, sheep, cows, chicken, birds, bees, and cats here. They provide me with honesty, insight , groundednes, stability,  and realness, awareness and strength – besides the meat, milk, honey and eggs that is also on my plate.

We are very sufficient with dairy products, meat, some herbs, some fruits, berries and also a lot of vegetables.  This awareness is awesome and it brings up gratefulness and humbleness within me.

Camphill living with interacting with animals is very therapeutic. A goat will “tell” you straight. The animals, are honest and real, they are not mind based like us humans.   They don’t have our obsessive thinking, so they are more stabile and here, firm, grounded, sound as physical and natural. Something I know that we humans must learn sooner or later…

Being able to go out and pet a cow or a sheep or talk to the chickens is just medicine ! Very rejuvenating and real! I am very grateful for that presence in my living. It makes me more honest, and alive, like colourful and expressive.

 

One can even go as far as to say that this planet should be for animals and nature only, and not for humans. If we look at how humans treat nature, other humans, animals and so on… it makes sense. Which means that we (humans) must change… or we are doomed. There is no other way.

 

I am grateful for my living in this camphill. Some of the traditions is maybe not of my liking, but there is room to discuss and debate most things. The antroposofic way is known to be a alternative way of living in Norway. Most of it is very cool and down to earth. Either way we can debate practice and reach common ground. The environment  and the ecological policy is very appealing to me and I would imagine to all people. The camphill way is by all means a way for the future.  I don’t agree to some of the Christian/religious traditions, but we can work through it and come to agreements.

The way of living is simple, and structured and rich. I recommend to find a camphill near you, and become friends with them, visit them and test it out. There are camphill villages mostly in Western Europe, North America, but also in Russia, South – Africa and India.

Enjoy your investigation of camphill !

http://camphill.net/

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Day 748 – Jesus was a demon

Here is my video talk and perspective on Jesus and who he was. Also some deep realizations about myself and life; enjoy !

 

 

also check out Gian and Joe talking on desteni radio / and further links within so

also check out eqafe series on crucifixion of jesus

Thanks !

Day 740 – we have already been programmed

 

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does it not strike you that all humans almost 100 % equally have a mind consciousness system ?

do you dare to ask why we all have that …system and matrix on our shoulders ?

how where we programmed to carry it in the first place, because it definitely seam un natural and like a metaphysical/extra thing/box rather than physical like flesh, bone and blood of the natural body.

very, very many people call upon mind consciousness system (or parts of it) to be God/religion, and the authority they chose to obey. and fail me not to be atheist is just a polarity of this believe, so we are very much left in the dark to figure things out our self. lucky for us there are signs on our path. and the bible is just happen to be one of these signs.

thing is we almost exclusively chose this existence our self, we might have been convinced and corrupted by energies to take this authority and mind/god to our living and practice over millions and millions of years and multiple layers of existence. there have been far more advanced civilizations on this planet earth. lots of it hidden secrets, and mystery not taken into awareness (or schools). I stand to break that silence.

let’s look at a specific example. from the bible. cain killed his brother able. what does this mean ? (realize that the bible is full of equations and riddles and it like a puzzle to help us on our path to awareness and change)

cain killed able

consciousness killed awareness

so we need to restore and bring forth our awareness – again.

 

so we look at words cain:  cain, ein, one, en (one single)

en + able = enable

enable the awareness

and to be here as awareness is key. consciousness is just a trickery show and “smoke and mirrors” of mind. But don’t fear or despise/hate the mind/box, we must learn to live with it, to make it equal to us – so it can do some work for us instead. if you are into conspiracy and youtube videos, you will see that so many videos (01.01.2017) predict ww3 and catastrophe and mayhem. just like our own old con – sciousness making a con/scam out of us with mind trickery.

realize this, mind is held well and in control by us – serving it energies. positive and negative, like a fucking battery cell of matrix,  energies that further create thoughts, and if you are able to realize that thoughts and thinking is NOT the way to go, you have come quite far, because thoughts as it is, manifested in the physical body is a sabotage and a separation of the flesh/physical. thoughts and thinking is separation of life, and then it gets real easy to make it each and everyone’s task to take responsibility for one self and ones living since, hey, it all boils down to the individual, within mind and who we are as thoughts, words and deed. we know all the secrets and we know the human mind, we have all the solutions waiting for us….all the cool new technologies, just a breath away… but governments and big money is preventing it for all to use it. since they have lots of the tool of money they are corrupted by status q, and we allow it to go on.

 

picture this:

 

all the thoughts that you have or have had, that are nasty or cruel, bad thoughts about others, emotions, and perverse fantasy, imaginations, all the stories that  you suppress and deny for, are representing what ? suppression and denial, yes… and just like that all that data of emotions, are stored and stacked away like,  billions and billions and billions of dollars – kept at distance from your and my pocket, because, hey karma strikes. just like we store away all the bad thoughts and mind bothers, endless numbers of money is kept from our common sharing since the system is rigged like that – , so that only a very, very, very few have all the money – and we all have scraps. I am further one voice to break this also. but how ? just knowing it does not break it… I must clean up my mind, in totality. all the nitty – gritty details and stories that I would not share with anyone – it comes out and up and for studying and exposing, I don’t need to criminalize myself by posting my worst fantasy on youtube, but I can write it out, in common sense and self support,  to myself with pen and paper, in self trust and integrity, to my own awareness,  and share how I did it, and what  I used as  a tool to clean up my mind, which is self forgiveness.

 

“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself…..”

 

so to empty the mind its demons and energy constructs, and stop the psychology drama/looping and thinking, self forgiveness my friend.  there is nothing like it of this world. let’s change it all – by starting at home.

we are what we create – so within so without.

 

 

here I am doing self forgiveness on points that opened up during writing this blog:

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feel like all I do is pointing fingers at others and not sorting out my own shit, that makes my process like a burden like I judge myself, and ending up feeling bothered and sick from that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the world is not yet ready for self forgiveness, “they” need more wake up calls, more con – sciousness, more consequence –  in the face to wake up from the suppression.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear to use the bible, thinking I am a christian or religious because of it, proving I have a emotional relationship to being religious or to believes in general.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this blog as just one more wakeup doom and gloom  post that is lost in the maze.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that it would relive me from stress and pain to have more money and to have more stuff, failing to realize that the amount of money does not matter, what matter is who I am in relationship to it.

 

– thank you for reading

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http://desteni.org/

 

 

Day 662- Bible reading (re) action

The other day I started to read the Bible. I wrote about this on a mailing list on internet, asking others to join me. One of the first mail I had in return was negative, about me going to read the Bible. The person was telling me to not read it. I was instantly triggered, very deep. I was seeing all the Christian teachings and gatherings with l the old aunties and old fashioned people, conservatives, and so on, that I would call as Christians inn my upbringing. I would see the images from back then, live in my mind. I would then bring these images and energies, to blame and judge this person that was negative to me. Victimizing myself and blaming that person.

 

I would see all this in flashed and pictures and go into victimization and blame over this. I went into victimization and blame only over this one single mail. And I forgot to consider the other people that was commenting on my mail in support of me. I was having lots of support. There was several people posting on my tread that supported me and wanted me to go on and that wanted to participate in the project of reading the Bible. But I was blind in reactions.

 

So I was triggered into hate, victimization and blame over one mail when there was so many others mails that where supportive to me.

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What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative – as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.

– June Roca

http://desteni.org/

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to bring the hatred from my upbringing over at this person answering my mail, and for going into anger over this persons reply.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go be triggered and go completely into hate and fear like a caged wild animal over being told to not do something I was looking forwards to do and to study.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spin around in this hate and not daring to touch in on my old memories, denying it, and ignoring the spots of locations, of church groups etc where I participated when I was a young child.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to open up those memories because there was so much suppressed hate and fear within those memories that I felt sick to my stomach.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself for placing hatred on church groups and religions groups and at the same time want to read the Bible, which is sort of a contradiction in itself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see the several other of people, that wrote to support me and that wrote in favor of me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see all the cool support that I was given and just blindly following my reactions and victimization, simply following the energy rides within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge a, b and c and others from how they where rising me back in the days, when I was growing up.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to realize that the very reason I want to read the Bible is to understand why my up-bring is that way it is, and why this world functions the way it does and so on, and within this I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face the conservative people from my childhood in fear of what I might say to them if I should meet them today.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to curse those buildings and those places where I was going to church education etc, where I then start to wonder what happened when I curse something and from that seeing that I could perhaps find answers in the Bible.

 

When and as I see myself going into reactions and going totally blind over one thing, not seeing common sense. I stop myself, I bring myself back to breathe and I slow myself down. I realize that reactions makes me blind and at those time it is difficult to see what is right to do. I realize that I should always avoid reactions, I can detect if I am in a reaction, I should avoid reactions always. I realize that I should, ground myself in breathe and loosen up the energies with self forgiveness if I end up in a reaction.

 

I commit myself to step down and out of reactions.

I commit myself to self authority on this point.

I commit myself to be my own guide and directive principle and avoid all reactions.

I commit myself to realize that reactions are like a disease, conflict, and pain.

 

  • thank you for reading – enjoy your day !

 

Day 660 – Schizophrenia and the bible

I started to read the bible some days ago. This world and its rules and design of matrix, psychology and components are very much based on the bible and the christian teachings. I guess that is why we have corruption, separation, fear, rape, murder, poverty, war, and all sorts of crime and abuse. That is not the only reason – but you get the picture… I started to read the first books of genesis. It is quite stunning to read. How it is designed from ones directive principle, to entwine oneness consciousness into the text and feed oneself with the words and concept of the bible and the books of genesis literally brainwashing while reading it. These books are filed with insanity, manipulation, psychology and crime. To put it short.

 

Some hours later I started to hear thoughts or a voices in my head. Like demanding voices and orders within my mind and thinking. It was not a cool experience. I was quite scared and also triggered by it. And I realize that I started to have these authoritarian voices in my head because of having read 2-3 first chapters of genesis inn the bible. This book, is so interwoven in society and in our lives from be – LIE – ves that we don’t see the crime. It is right in front of our noses.

 

I did not read a lot, but I understood that I was quite taken by what I was reading. And like I said I started to have these authoritarian voices after having read it. No wonder there is war in this world, from how we are directed by this book (amongst others) to live our lives.

 

I will work through self forgiveness to release myself from this construct of authoritarian conscious voices. And I will gently put the bible aside for now.

 

What this all means to me is that, I am quite sensitive. Apart from that, I see how the old system tries to play itself in the new system, but the old system is failing and falling apart. Collapsing. Still religious programming and brainwashing,  is huge and deep, deep within humanity.

 

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What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative – as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.

– June Roca

http://desteni.org/

 

 

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into consciousness with my energies of fear from reading about the violence and crimes in the books of genesis, where I later started to hear voices and having thoughts in my head from this experience of reading about this “god” that said this and that and literally make life hell on earth from genesis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear my voices as they were demanding and ordering, like they were from my dad, or a teacher or a master or of the Lord, major of the crown city of London, because he is the only true lord of this earth of the old rules and system.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to open up my ideas and thoughts about this voices and from where it came from out of fear to open up, like a can of worms.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to related to the word “god” as my father as my own father that is my dad, that in fact is not him but the “papa”, by the old system the pope and the leaders of the Vatican, that have been rulers of heaven (the Vatican ) and its laws like “umnun sanctum”, preaching, and so on.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to break loose from the kings and the priests of this world and to fear consequences of what would happen to me as of consequences of ending my own matrix, ending my game by stopping participating in the game and rather honor life and live my life.

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my voices in my head where autotarian like from the millgram’s experiment and how we are all programmed to follow voices and concepts of authority like teachers or police or royalties etc, that is all together completely brainwash and lies all from constructs like the bible and the books of genesis and you might say, day to day life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I that since all these people from the bible, could “hear”; “god” in sound, they where all schizophrenic, voice hearers, and not sane.

If things are not clear or you juts want to send me a picture of a flower, my facebook url :

https://www.facebook.com/tormod.hvidstengjedrem

 

Thank you for reading; enjoy your computing and breathing.

 

 

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Day 566 – Child in time

I am giving it s a shot to simply write out from a empty mind. I realize that much of the key in my process, as of now, here, is to live like a child. Matthews 18 from the Bible. To enter heaven you must become a (the) child.

I realize this and I see myself living breathing playing eating , exploring, as this child. Myself. I see myself living and expressing as a young child. I see it a solution to be this child and to live the life for myself and to forgive the friction that I experience looking back when I was back then, being 2 or 5 or 10 years old, etc, and to embrace those moments and to forgive those parts of my past.

I realize that this is one of the great keys in my life as how I live it now. I realize that to birth life from physical is the solution to create life from nothingness, to forgive self.

I realize myself as a child, I see how I manage to create a better life for myself. To let go of the past and to move on in my life. The things that might be creating spite and anger/friction within me I have to forgive, but the memory will not disappear. I will have to move on from the memory. I will have to move on with myself. Let it go and move past it.

Here is what living as a child is so smart because children does not judge self. At least not if it is a toddler. A child that learns to walk does not judge self for falling down – it simply gets up again and continues to walk until success.

What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative – as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.

– June Roca

http://desteni.org/

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I am thought well, of what is the esthetics or moral in life to live by the golden rule, that I would think to myself I learned from my parents and that I would consider myself lucky as of how I was raised where I would feel gratitude to my parents because they have thought me well and they have thought me some quality manners throughout my life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed to see how self forgiveness of moments in my childhood really turns the coin for me and helps me to stabilize myself within my process and within my being and living.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself internal conversations where I judge myself for being a young child playing with palymo and I would judge myself because I had lots of playmo, and lots of toys, but typically boys/girls in Calcutta or in Africa or else, did not have this opportunity to play with so many toys as I could, and this would create this ditch of guilt and judgment within myself when I look back at being this young boy, playing with the dynamics.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to look back into my world as I was being a young boy toddler and I would think to myself how innocent and adorable I looked being this little toddler boy and how I look all new and inexperienced within my life and my world breathing being here.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I would think of being a baby and learning my parents to “know “my parents as they where the most important people in my life and how I took on this meeting and learning equally with them in daily life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I was aware then, being a toddler that my parents where the most important people, in my life, that whatever they would be teaching me whatever they knew or wanted me to know would make huge impact as so it did.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I see I was acting in awareness to remind my parents of how their words and teachings would matter greatly to me, and I would try to tell my parents that their teaching of me would matter immensely to me, and that I would have to calculate out and work out any wrong doing/teaching and that any wrong doing would have a huge impact on life/me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I discover that I as a child, and most likely any other child, likes a good view, a larger overview of nature and waters and mountains etc, and that it is healthy to have a over view as of the situation of oneness life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of my years as being a baby as I was innocent and sacred and sort of new in the world.

When and as I see myself starting to judge myself and I would start to blame myself for doing things wrong or not right. I stop and I breathe. I realize that like a child I will not judge myself it is all pre – programmed, and I cannot judge myself or any wrong doing I can become responsible with myself but it would be wrong to judge myself. I realize that I must be able to fall/fail and get up again and go at it over again. I commit myself to not judge myself but instead live like the child and to stand up like the child/myself, and learn to stand up. I commit myself to stand up and to learn to walk over and over again until I can stand and walk on myself. I commit myself to stand within and ass my physical body and picture. I commit myself to stand in equality and oneness, with everything and all of existence. I commit myself to live as this child and to be this child in time and without time and to express and live to the fullest I can be as myself in every moment and to give as I would like to receive and to love my neighbor.

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Develop self perfection:

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Free online writing course:

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

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