Tag Archives: awareness

Day 805 – Simple stamina



In my process, from consciousness to awareness, I am investigating lots of things on my way. I expose and investigate, explore, breathe, ground myself, realize, pay attention to and consider and dive into….. to be able to do this without going into possession and obsession of simply metaphysics and thinking and reactions in my mind… I have to have a common denominator. A purpose higher than me.

That purpose is equality and oneness. This is my purpose that I hold higher than myself. And I need that life code more than very much else. Because as I investigate and search and study and participate and challenge myself, my mind is exposed to lots of dimensions and constructs and also metaphysics.

There is a saying that goes like this: “investigate all things and keep that which is good”. And I do my best to follow that. I investigate all things and keep to me, to life, what is good. Everything else that does not support life I strive to delete, forgive and discharge within self. And that I have developed into a comfortable structure to live by.

I do my best to read myself every day, to see where I am at, to discover myself. And a key point in my process today is to understand or define who I am between moments and who I am between breathing. So I see into me (Into-me-I-see/intimacy)  And I try to see who am I between breathing, between moments. A part of me is this humble and dedicated, committed worker bee, that is persistent and persevere and that will not give up. Working to explore myself and existence. Discovering me. I can also be quite colourful and expressive almost artistic like. I do strive to be more organized and structured in my application.  Integrity is also a word that shows itself. There are also some bothersome things, that I am working on to get over, like fear even paranoia and judgment, sometimes comparison, blame and stress. These emotions I am less and less dependent on as I progress in life process.


Within this process that I then walk to discover myself, I keep to consistent and daily application. To stamina, to keep it simple.


“Simple stamina” – to keep process simple and also inn stamina – they very much go hand in hand. Also it has that beat to it lol…. like a pop song like just do it, jump into it. I very much like the combination.

Let’s dance to simple stamina… you & me !


Simple stamina. To work with words in such a manner that you can make them your own. To redefine and live words. To change the given reality. Right now simple and stamina are my words.


You see we all live words 24/7. But most of us don’t know how we are living in emotional or negative words, from memories, limiting and disempowering words, from pre-programming. Words and memories that act like tripping wires, that are stored in our bodies. This is how most of us are living limited versions of self. This comes from the past, the parts of one self that has not been dealt with or forgiven within properly. All the details – which is a lot of details. This leads to the abuse of life, which will not be allowed to continue.


Self forgiveness

I forgive myself that I have a accepted and allowed myself to think I have covered all my limiting or negative word and that they are all gone, when fail to realize that that there is always something, some dimension for me to work on there is still some friction/reaction of mind,  and I can still evolve and alter myself more.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to make process more complicated more massive and complex, thinking it is hard – simply by doing so making process more difficult, failing to live the word simple in the totality of me.

I forgive myself that I have a accepted and allowed myself to relate and judge myself within this word simple is a negative word, where I look at the Norwegian word “simpel” – which means “less” and “poor” maybe even “bad” or “sorry” translated.


Commit myself to redefine this word “simple” and to change myself as it.


For more information on living words se SOUL or the desteni forum on living words !


Enjoy !


Day 779 – consciousness and awareness

This is a review of a eqafe.com product, in the back to basics series.


Thoughts, thinking and mind with its consciousness, is the very core of system of self that is keeping this world in its locked down position. Thinking and consciousness is two of the very, very factors that maintain the very “same old, same old” system of this world, being inequality, consumerism, war and systems  so on.

How can we start to learn to change this ? Is it possible to change this ? To not be that much a slave of mind ? How to become more aware and self directive ?


In this interview you can learn how to work through mind and to master and take charge of these processes, and simply not allow it to go on. To become aware, and not lost in chaos of thinking and consciousness.


It gently assists a case studying and finding it bothersome to read and study text.


How is it possible to change from mind and thinking to nurturing ones beeingness and awareness? You would be amazed of what you find !


This interview will let you know how to take charge and change from these processes of min. And it taught me that ultimately it is me, myself who is responsible and also capable to change myself within such. I have the power to change, from bothersome thoughts, friction and noise of mind to life, breathe, beeingness, awareness and physicality.

I have the opportunity to change. Learn how to see this and how to work with self to change this !


Enjoy the interview: enjoy eqafe !

Interview here: https://eqafe.com/p/consciousness-awareness-back-to-basics



For more info on life challenges, solutions and issues:

These links are super – potent with the finest of support

– I am living proof









Enjoy !

Day 766 – Bringing myself down from sharing and exposing myself online

Bringing myself down from sharing and exposing myself online

Today a troll brought out a demon in me. I shared a video from you tube, on steemit,  where I do a talk. The troll was attacking me and not my words and it was totally not a cool thing to experience. It hurt me.

So I challenged myself, after talking to my DIP(desteni i process) – buddy – to see what else was behind this point. And It goes to show that I judge myself for sharing myself. I would express something within a video or a comment and later judge myself for it. Thinking I expose myself to much, I should not say this’n that. Bringing myself down from raising my voice.

This buck stops right here! I will express and expose myself, my mind and my solutions and my living to everyone interested.

Check out self forgiveness at desteni.org – it can really change ones living

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge myself as “to much” and as a clown and silly or a looser for posting lots on facebook/else and for making myself a name, out there and sort of saying to the world “here I am” – and for thinking that I do this to much and that I over do it

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry with myself for seeing that I judge myself within not living my desires and my ideal

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to create expectations of myself how I should be sharing and not – online

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to loos myself in depression from judging myself for not living this ieal and dream

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have unreal ideal and dreams about myself and life

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like since my dream and expectations are not lived I fail and feel angry with myself for failing

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I fail to live my desires and dreams and within thinking this – I start to judge my expression and experience online as wrong and bad

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I fail at expressing my core, depth or any taboo within where I judge myself thinking that I should do things differently and that I am not ok

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry with myself and within this anger I would bash out with my mind and loose myself into despair and isolation/depression

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become angry and lost in despair within self

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to face my own judgment – when I really just have to drop the whole judging thing and live !

It seam I judge myself for not living a perfect life. Like I have dreams or desires that are perfect (?) There is no need to judge. What so ever. There is however need to heal. So – dropping the judging and becoming life through self forgiveness.

Thanks !

Enjoy breathe !


dem 27.jpg


Check out the links:








Day 763 – physical aware

How I am more physical aware than before

The basics of my physical awareness living


I am more physical by focusing on my breathe. First point, 24/7 breathe awareness. Then bring everything together with that breathe, and be one and equal to everything. HAH ! That is a challenge of a life time lol.. so it is a purpose higher than myself – it is still good. I mean look, the way we treat each other and this mother earth, we need something that is greater than our self to reach for. Not like a believe, but practical for the body/physical,  so… equality and oneness is the perfect match. Codes of life.

So breathing in awareness. Inn and out. I breathe inn; I embrace what is here, I breathe out I express myself.

Then, from long time practicing self forgiveness/embracing self completely, once reaching that state of not being in separation, being here, not feeding the thought/paranoia/mind.

The thought and the mind is what keeps this old slavery system/matrix/mind together. You see, I have been searching high and low for “the secret” – seeking outside, failing to see that I in  the flesh/physical is the key. I as the physical is the very key here. To bring equality and oneness (heaven) to earth.  To balance a awareness with my physical with living words is a cool way to treat self. When I do that I live in physical energy, energy of the body, like solid, firm, not signals/lights  in mind/head. But a rather calm, comfortable, warm, yet chill kind of sense. Really cool to experience.

Today I started a yoga practice. I will do this for some time to see what are my effect. But I must say that it is very important to be able to let go of thoughts and thinking of the old mind. I will always carry my mind in this life, but I don’t want to slave to it for energies/eternity. It does not have to be prominent like with consciousness.

So I breathe and ground myself in breathe awareness, find grounding my physical and balance it all with living and redefining words and self honesty.

When I work out my physical it is the same, though a more prominent focus on self honesty. Like digging dirt, I stay focused on my body in full self honesty. And sort of break it off with living words as well as with breathe awareness.  Without pictures of boobs, buts, beers, cars, weed, whatever pictures or any particular energy that I would slave to mind with. But saying fuck of to energies/emotions sneaking inn on me. Telling my mind to fuck off: I am working with my body atm.  Don’t give mind space/energies. Not with anger/fear but in self direction. Be self in charge from the physical. Calm, directed and honest.


sweaty from farm work

I can learn to use my mind if I need it but I will not give it free range: no more.

It is a cool job. It works, I am living proof.

Enjoy breathe

dem 7

picture of me and my friend Sunette,  desteni europa meeting, Brussel 2017

Check out the links:







Day 741 – where I just was… again


so this is a post about time. “time is a gift we give to our self”, a friend of me once said.

I appreciate that quote.


it is like consciousness uses time as a enemy, to postpone it and “do it later” and “why bother doing the chores now”, postponing kind of way.

while awareness uses time to support,  saying yes: “let’s get busy doing this (!)”,  “we have real time, “let’s get down to it”,  “let’s get to work” kind of approach.

so what does this mean. to make a long story short – we are moving from consciousness to awareness. from “power of now” till “power of here”.

very much of this can be found in slowing down and being honest about oneself. to stop for 5 seconds and take a breather, perhaps close the eyes, and catch a breathe, to focus ones awareness and to be “here” as in all that one is, with trust, honesty and integrity, instead of “now as a fragmented and scattered element of consciousness.

this is what life teaches us. to be able to stand in a place of here, as all one is and all one have been, and to not bend down and lose ground over anything, memories, fears etc… to have forgiven everything so one can stand, equal and one as self support. within oneness own flesh.


so it is a process of learning to know oneself, to slow down…. and really see the moment within and to see who self is in real time. because, like Bruce Lee can tell us that slowing down oneself, is really, really moving faster within ones process.  and if you add self forgiveness to that and walk a path into life you can achieve anything.

we are creators and we create our own path. I chose to be self honest to change myself as much as I can in this life, to see ripples of that self change into the world as a whole.

to slow down to such a extent that one does not bite ones own tail, that one does not repeat what one is doing – where one just was.


self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have not accepted and allowed myself to see and fully realize that the words, I speak, will sound better and different if, I am at a slower movement, and if I am able to slow myself down enough I will be more sure on what I say, and what I speak, and my resonance and expression of words will be better and have more effect.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel emotional or bad about slowing down so much that I feel bothered or like a clown failing to realize that slowing down ones process is in metaphysical, moving faster through the layers and diving deeper into oneness mind and self.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself that I have not seen the very value and essence of slowing down, where I see that I would need to practice slowing down further to be able to have more access to my physical and to change.





Day 740 – we have already been programmed




does it not strike you that all humans almost 100 % equally have a mind consciousness system ?

do you dare to ask why we all have that …system and matrix on our shoulders ?

how where we programmed to carry it in the first place, because it definitely seam un natural and like a metaphysical/extra thing/box rather than physical like flesh, bone and blood of the natural body.

very, very many people call upon mind consciousness system (or parts of it) to be God/religion, and the authority they chose to obey. and fail me not to be atheist is just a polarity of this believe, so we are very much left in the dark to figure things out our self. lucky for us there are signs on our path. and the bible is just happen to be one of these signs.

thing is we almost exclusively chose this existence our self, we might have been convinced and corrupted by energies to take this authority and mind/god to our living and practice over millions and millions of years and multiple layers of existence. there have been far more advanced civilizations on this planet earth. lots of it hidden secrets, and mystery not taken into awareness (or schools). I stand to break that silence.

let’s look at a specific example. from the bible. cain killed his brother able. what does this mean ? (realize that the bible is full of equations and riddles and it like a puzzle to help us on our path to awareness and change)

cain killed able

consciousness killed awareness

so we need to restore and bring forth our awareness – again.


so we look at words cain:  cain, ein, one, en (one single)

en + able = enable

enable the awareness

and to be here as awareness is key. consciousness is just a trickery show and “smoke and mirrors” of mind. But don’t fear or despise/hate the mind/box, we must learn to live with it, to make it equal to us – so it can do some work for us instead. if you are into conspiracy and youtube videos, you will see that so many videos (01.01.2017) predict ww3 and catastrophe and mayhem. just like our own old con – sciousness making a con/scam out of us with mind trickery.

realize this, mind is held well and in control by us – serving it energies. positive and negative, like a fucking battery cell of matrix,  energies that further create thoughts, and if you are able to realize that thoughts and thinking is NOT the way to go, you have come quite far, because thoughts as it is, manifested in the physical body is a sabotage and a separation of the flesh/physical. thoughts and thinking is separation of life, and then it gets real easy to make it each and everyone’s task to take responsibility for one self and ones living since, hey, it all boils down to the individual, within mind and who we are as thoughts, words and deed. we know all the secrets and we know the human mind, we have all the solutions waiting for us….all the cool new technologies, just a breath away… but governments and big money is preventing it for all to use it. since they have lots of the tool of money they are corrupted by status q, and we allow it to go on.


picture this:


all the thoughts that you have or have had, that are nasty or cruel, bad thoughts about others, emotions, and perverse fantasy, imaginations, all the stories that  you suppress and deny for, are representing what ? suppression and denial, yes… and just like that all that data of emotions, are stored and stacked away like,  billions and billions and billions of dollars – kept at distance from your and my pocket, because, hey karma strikes. just like we store away all the bad thoughts and mind bothers, endless numbers of money is kept from our common sharing since the system is rigged like that – , so that only a very, very, very few have all the money – and we all have scraps. I am further one voice to break this also. but how ? just knowing it does not break it… I must clean up my mind, in totality. all the nitty – gritty details and stories that I would not share with anyone – it comes out and up and for studying and exposing, I don’t need to criminalize myself by posting my worst fantasy on youtube, but I can write it out, in common sense and self support,  to myself with pen and paper, in self trust and integrity, to my own awareness,  and share how I did it, and what  I used as  a tool to clean up my mind, which is self forgiveness.


“I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself…..”


so to empty the mind its demons and energy constructs, and stop the psychology drama/looping and thinking, self forgiveness my friend.  there is nothing like it of this world. let’s change it all – by starting at home.

we are what we create – so within so without.



here I am doing self forgiveness on points that opened up during writing this blog:


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself feel like all I do is pointing fingers at others and not sorting out my own shit, that makes my process like a burden like I judge myself, and ending up feeling bothered and sick from that.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that the world is not yet ready for self forgiveness, “they” need more wake up calls, more con – sciousness, more consequence –  in the face to wake up from the suppression.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself fear to use the bible, thinking I am a christian or religious because of it, proving I have a emotional relationship to being religious or to believes in general.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge this blog as just one more wakeup doom and gloom  post that is lost in the maze.


I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that it would relive me from stress and pain to have more money and to have more stuff, failing to realize that the amount of money does not matter, what matter is who I am in relationship to it.


– thank you for reading





Day 648 – Living word: breathe

Roman Mosaic Donated by President Bourguiba

Allocation to word:

Breathe…. where to start. I am always breathing, the body is constantly working with oxygen and air. The question is am I aware of my breathing ? It is constant but not a automatic process. It is close to automatic but not quite so. Breathe gives life to who I am. Breathe gives life to my physical. I see that I have been over living this word I have been trying to live it too hard. I have been trying to breathe with awareness – to hard. I would think of breathe and I would associate with two things, life and stress. I breathe myself to stress by over doing it. Further I realize that it is not just me that is breathing. Most life forms breathe. Even fish have organs to breathe for them under water.

Dictionary definition:

  1. to take air, oxygen, etc., into the lungs and expel it; inhale and exhale; respire.
  2. (in speech) to control the outgoing breath in producing voice and speech sounds.
  3. to pause, as for breath; take rest:

How about giving me a chance to breathe?

  1. to move gently or blow lightly, as air.
  2. to live; exist:

Hardly a man breathes who has not known great sorrow.

  1. to be redolent of.
  2. (of a material) to allow air and moisture to pass through easily:



breathe (v.)

  1. 1300, not in Old English, but it retains the original Old English vowel of its source word, breath. Related: Breathed; breathing.

breather (n.)

  1. 1600, “a living creature, one who breathes,” agent noun from breathe. Meaning “spell of exercise to stimulate breathing” is from 1836; that of “a rest to recover breath” is from 1901.



Sounding of word:

bris – (gentle wind in Norwegian)





bæsj – (poo in Norwegian)





Polarity of word:

negative: I would associate breathe with stress, and with getting anxious from over doing it. I would think I had to breathe in a stressing tempo to be aware of my breathing. I was overdoing it.

positive: I would associate with calm and comforting breathe that fills me with life from breathing inn and expressing myself when breathing out.

Creative writing:

Breathe can be so much more supportive to me than what I allow it to today. I realize that most life forms I know of is breathing. I realize that I can improve my breathing skills, by slowing down and breathing more calm. A calm breathe is so much better than a stressful breathe. A calm breathe is more sane and more healthy. Breathe should be experienced as supportive and nice. One should work with self communication and release energies to better oneness breathe/chest from obstacles and ones pain and energies. To have a overall improved and better life. Breathe is supposed to flow through me like a gentle stream. Breathe should be nice and calm. Gentle and smooth.

Self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think in brief moments during my day, that I should hurry up and breathe or push myself through fields of energies to be able to breathe, making my life stressful and painful.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to forget to be aware of my breathing in moments of stress during my ordinary day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I had to push myself to breathe going into energies and sort of vibration within my body, and my mind thinking this is a solution when it is simply a painful and confusing process where I need to bring myself back from that “high” into sanity, calamity and ease.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to think of my breathe because I would fear to face my secrets and my so called week spots within physical and for refusing to take on or talk about breathe, since I am so dependent on it that I look upon it like it is a addiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think of breathe like a addiction.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I don’t fully know the benefits of breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I don’t know really what breathe is.

When and as I see myself compromising my life and my physical, in  movements and I go into stress, and I forget to be aware of breathe. I stop myself, I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that slowing down is moving faster through process, and I should along with slowing down also focus more on my breathing. I realize that a slow and calm breathe is better for me. I realize I should not strive and keep pushing myself as much compared to simply : to slow the fuck down, and to further feel my breathe/physical. I commit myself to feel my breath each time I breathe. I commit myself to live by the virtue of breathe awareness and self honesty. I commit myself to breathe as nothingness.


New definition:

Breathe is the experience of inhaling and exhaling of air through ones body. Breathe is a important part of life.  Breathe is food for the body.