Day 478 – Revolutions is not the answer.

Revolution is not the answer.

During the last 10 years we have had different revolutions going off in the world. The “Arabic spring” started in Tunis and evolved into Libya and Egypt. They have just experienced a revolution. What happened to their countries? Some of the puppets of the political game was changed out but nothing really changed … Nothing. If so for the worse. For the worse. Whoever thinks that revolution is the way to go, like the Arabic spring have got schooling to do. Seriously.

First of all it is in USA interest to see a constant revolution and a constant war in this world that we live. The USA war machine makes allot (!) of money when Israel fights Palestine, and when Ukraine fight Russia etc.. It is vital to understand the role that USA plays as a world police, dominator, within the word society and sort of starts wars where it pleases within this world. Practically. And in terms.

What we need is a peace full change into a political new era. The riots in Hong Kong is not of a change. That is not what a democracy looks like. They only make the ruling hand in Beijing more harsh. No change at all. Only for worse. Political change is peaceful and in harmony. Political change is a gentle and calm transmission.

It is only that we have been programmed to think that it should happen like a action matrix movie. It have been programmed into our very DNA that transmission and change is violent, and hurtful, – when it really don’t have to be that. At all.

Think of it. Scenario. Is it possible to have change without violence ? Yes of corce it is. People sitting down and writing a political manifest and proposing change, through the democratic corridors with who and where they are. That could be change. That is what a democracy looks like.

Political change should and must be peaceful and gentle, because if it is not it will fail. Simple as that.

So gather up a group, and start to write a political manifest to propose to government and political change. Let’s do this for what is best for all. Start a politic change group on facebook. Join us in equal life foundation, Check out

Have a revolting free day!



Day 477 – Relationship to mind and schizophrenia.

Relationship to mind and schizophrenia. – My relationship to my mind. I realize that I have a mind. In doing so I am asking myself to align myself within equality and oneness with my mind, and I imagine that I do that and I adjust myself within what is best for all. I think of mind as something that sort of belongs to me. But I must stop it. The mind represents me and also everything around me. Almost as this manifested object of a box (to be specific) that belongs to me. The reason I would think that it belong to me is because of my close relationship to energies and psychosis. And because I have lived and life within my mind for many, many years like a mind zombie. Occupying the mind very, very much of my time. Living the pre program and living my mind. I further realize that the mind is also a key, and that eventually will take part of me to unify me within my physical. But until them I must work to make that real and into matters. From the physical starting point of for instance separation. And forgive myself for this friction or this movement/conflict. This relationship of a .. ice cream box that I have, until now, here to relate to and breathe with. My physical here.


Picture from eqafe:

I think that I must be maybe more aware of my mind because of my experiences with psychosis  and things like voices in the head or backchats that I have been experiencing having schizophrenia. I further, think of my mind as this final obstacle and tool that I have to be come. To eventually stop my thoughts and to take complete responsible for my everything. My relationship to my mind is that my mind is sort of my old self. My mind is my old self and it is based on what I did yesterday or years back. I also realize that my mind could turn on me and sort of turn inside out on me and prove to be quite a trap if I dig to deep within the unconscious within my world. I further realize that my mind is divide into 3 parts mainly. The part that make up the mind is:

  1. The conscious
  2. Sub – conscious.
  3. Un- conscious.

And these three is very related within their function what they “are”. The more I occupy the mind the more I accept the mind with everything that goes on within the world. Everything. Conscious is when I experience thoughts, feeling and emotions and it is where all the action have been taking place. With me being Schizophrenic and more exposed to energies and psychosis this is what I would rephear to as a battle ground or this place of action because I experience it so lively and so authentic. My un – conscious is the parts of me where I cannot se and where I cannot be fully aware of what goes on. I simply have to gain trust from the signals or the physical living change that I experience in relating to the mind as a whole. Un – conscious is where we have the unified conscious filed where everyone is interwove. Everything takes place here. War, famine, rape, murder, hunger, corruption etc. And that is also why we all have to stop and catch our breath and find back to here and be change for what is best for all. Give as you want to receive and love thy neighbor. We first and foremost need to stop. And then there is sub – conscious where we have the DNA structure placed within us before we are born. Sub conscious where the sins of our fathers are passed down to our very gene form within the womb of our mothers. All this is downloaded as information and stored within out physical and our conscious mind and it is from here information is scraped together to be sent into conscious mind and born as thoughts. Just like to recycle human beings like batteries of matrix. From our downloaded information from our forefathers information is collected and brought into a sort of gathering of information and a thought is born. From the very sins of our fathers and our ancestors. It is important to learn to say stop to self. It is important to everyone to make your life matter. If you don’t yours life does not count. For real. To be that equal and one change within life is a life task and it is a clear and it is the choice that we all should grab when we can. Since it is what is best for all and it is what is responsible with yourself. The mind is eventually the key to self. So learn your mind. Join us at desteni end learn yourself inside out! Another way to see the 3 levels of mind, conscious, subconscious and unconscious mind – is that the conscious is the thoughts that you have popping up every day. My thoughts is within conscious. The subconscious is the personalities, the reactions – the ancestors, the more deeper dimensions of the mind. The unconscious is for example physical behaviors where you aren’t even aware that you’re acting out a personality but where it’s become so much a part of you that you don’t even notice. So it’s like the conscious is the surface layer, then the subconscious is what’s under the surface and then the unconscious is the ‘deep dark ocean. Learn the mind, learn to stop the mind and learn self with the tools of desteni. Check out the links.

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Day 476 – Orthomolecular medicine

Psychiatry and Orthomolecular medicine. Orthomolecular medicine. It means the “right” medicine. There is allot and I do mean allot of different recopies for becoming well from a psychiatric diagnosis within orthomolecular medicine. Ortho – means right so it is refering to the “right” medicine for you. Within Orthomolecular medicine – the word Orto means the right. The right type. So this word is widely used especially with nutrition mixed and all sorts of special cures to eat within the world of finding cures to ones symptoms and oneness illness. There is hundreds if not thousands of so called medical experts that say “If you want to get well eat these pills they are pure vitamins” etc… There is allot off people making huge sums of money on people suffering and being desperate with finding a cure.

There is variety of actors within this field and some of the more moderated companies is simply suggesting that we eat right. To find out if you are intolerant against milk of whet for instance, is a common discovery. And to test body fluids and see what food you lack within your diet – is e very popular test to take and to discover whether your diet is lacking some ingredients. I would say that it is coot o runs such a allergic test, if you experience trouble with your health that does not simply go away. These test can be ordered with your ordinary doctor. It is important what we eat and to eat plenty of healthy food is important, and also to eat different food eat a variety of food s is important. More and more people are ending up with diabetes and allergic to food reactions. And if you look at the supermarket food that we eat it is no wonder that we get allergic. It is a sick system. There is so much chemicals and poisonous substances added to our ordinary food that we become sick and allergic. This is something that we see occupying our mind and taking our very strength with fighting food companies like Monsanto. Political changes are needed to stop the poison in our food and to stop the GMO food. We need clean food. But ranting and raving and demonstrating is not the answer. We need democratic changes that will be best for all and that will serve life. A political change where life I considered for real.


Living income guaranteed by equal life foundation is such a change. With  medicine there is allot of fraud and scams. I would say look out for their companies can do some investigation of the field of medication or nutrition for becoming aware of what to eat or take of nutrition’s to become healthy and become well from your symptoms and your disease. There is lots of dishonest people that are only out to get your money and there is lots of fraud. Very often I see in the news how companies are running business as of fraud. Many people are fooled and end up more sick then what they were before. But there is also success stories that the companies cling on to.

A advice from me is to listen to your doctor and to listen to the experienced research that could be found for instance at – they are investigating these companies that claim to know the answer, and they investigate for reels for people that have schizophrenic illness at least. To investigate and finding background material is something everyone should do more, and stop buying the lies and brainwash of mainstream media and the commercial factories. You have Google. Use it. I realize that it might seem like I am writing of the Orthomolecular medicine. That is not fair and it is not of my intention. There is lots of solution within these types of medications. Healing and health might very well be found here.

I want to make sure that you understand that there is lots of Orthomolecular medicine and homeopathic medicine that could work and be perfectly ok for one to use.

I want to make sure that it is not my attention to write of all homeopathic medicine or Orthomolecular medicine. There are lots of solutions found there and there is lots of ways to heal self through this medicine. The key here is to do research and to investigate background data and material.

Check out the links for solutions to world and personal problems.

Check out the links. The coolest store in the universe: Desteni: Walk the talk/indentify and work with your illness: : Lite course : Thank you for reading.

Day 475 – Psychiatry and Scientology.

Psychiatry and Scientology.

Psychiatry and Scientology.

It may not be known to everyone’s awareness, but scientologists are engaging allot with of mental health and mental illnesses, like within state driven psychiatry. They oppose it and it shows.

Scientology have a special interest with psychiatry. The religious or cultish movement was founded on believes that it must cure and get past old traumas. Old traumas from childhood must be cured and one be able to get past ones past. The scientologist claim to have cure for mental illness and especially trauma experiences that they can cure through a conscious experience called “auditing”. A sort of interview done by a scientologist.

Now, within psychiatry there is allot of traumas and difficult stories. And scientology claimed to have a recopied to cure these illnesses through what they call “auditing”

Scientology have engaged deeply with psychiatry the last years. And there are allot of people ringing the alarm bells. They have produces material to place the drug and medical business inn a bad light. They are very critical to the way psychiatry is run today. They produce materials and videos to expose psychiatry for its abuse.

At the same time we see that organizations across a wide range of interest are not happy that the religion of scientology is going in and engaging within the field of psychiatry. Most all organizations that I know of are engaged and that have long experience with psychiatry, do not want anything to do with scientology.

The scientologist have bee criticized in all the countries that they have established them self. They are being blamed as a cult and being demonic and brutal. There have been exposed by main stream media from being cult and for running homes with child abuse. The religious movement, all are running work labor homes and care homes that are exposed as child labor farms with harsh conditions, and with brutality and strict discipline as principles. They tend to requite to these working and homes, from people that are poor or uneducated, and that are not living socially secure lives. There is lots to investigate with how they operate and the stories that expose the scientologist as a cult are many, to say the least. For instance the hacker group “Anonymous” have been attacking and blaming the scientologist with their own videos of testimonies, where they blame the scientologist for being abusive and so on.

Scientologist are engaging with psychiatry and mental health because they see what horror and madness that is being practiced within psychiatry. And that have been going on with psychiatry the time that psychiatry have existed. My guess is that scientologist engaging with psychiatry to gain more support for their religion and to catch people that are within psychiatry because they are usually without too much social security and that seams lost for rights. People that have been exposed to psychiatry could be viewed as easy targets and easy prey.

A real solution here is to give everyone within their country and culture, enough money to have a dignified life, so that people would not be so easy targets for the scientologist or others.

I mean everyone must be given a social security, and it is obvious that a means tested basic income is what is best for all, and also the individual.

People who are fighting psychiatry in Norway and that also have connection to scientologist are more easy to loose in the struggle with the juridical system because it is not considered cool at all amongst the lawyers and lawmakers, doctors and professors within the law of psychiatry. It seems like no one likes scientology, sort of like psychiatry. And there is allot of these doctors, lawyers and health professional elites. And they do not like the way scientologist are engaging with psychiatry at all.

So there is a clear connection within psychiatry where scientologist try to requite members to their church and their society. But it is not accepted by the established old law makers and doctors or and judges, at all. Not with the organizations, within psychiatry either I might add. So scientologist is breaking through to patients within psychiatry but it is not being tolerated so fear is created within the patient a towards scientologist and that sort of movements. And that is just one more fear for the patient to consider. And that is not cool.   I have felt this fear myself and it is a quite distinguished fear or pain in the head especially directed to the scientologist church and thee leaders. It is not a joke.

Scientologist like any other religions is lies and brainwashing. Why do I say that ? Because you be – lie – ve it. You are living a lie. It is hidden within the words. All religion and non religions are a lie. And they deceive from responsibility and life.

Time to wake up from the bubble existence. Time to take responsibility for oneself with walking and forgiving self.

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Day 474 – Awakening to purpose

Awakening to purpose Telemark 2009

I realize now the moment that I went through what i will call my spiritual awakening. It took place in Telemark Norway the summer of 2009.I realized life had meaning. It was like a clear message and a cold shower.

What do I mean by spiritual awakening ? I mean the process to understand within the deep of my mind, that I am one and equal with everything.  I mean that for me to be able to love my neighbor as myself I must know myself and be able to forgive myself. To take responsibility for myself. To work on self – forgiveness everyday. By spiritual awakening I mean to appreciate and help, love and care for all life equal and one, and  by being responsible with myself and to do what is best for all at all times.

I had been dreaming of this camp in Telemark, place looking almost precisely like it did in my dreams when I arrived there. I had been dreaming of this when I was 14, or 15. I had seen people burning fires out on a field and being together working and having a great time. Dancing and laughing and smiling.

It was just that.

I had wanted to go to ting gathering for a long time. By this year (2009) I had lived 9 years in Stavanger. Doing a lot of substance abuse. I was seeking and trying to get on top of situations. I was spending time with people that would try to help me find my path and my direction. There were lots of people that would be acting like guides and helpers to me while I was seeking. Unfortunately my drug and alcohol addiction grew big and mean. And I was also told by many people to lay of the booze and the hajjis. Which I eventually did. May 2012.

I had quite some friends that I would listen to that had been at ting before me. I wanted to go but I hardly managed to stabilize myself to be sober and clean from drugs to attend it. So I was asked by some guys, before those magic moments of summer 2009. We drove the 4 -5 hours to Ting In Fyrresdalen in Telemark.

I clearly remember that me and 3 other men came driving from Rogaland into Telemark and into Fyrresdalen. I was a geat time we shared back then and i especially remember the feeling of being connected and in oneness

I had a great time but at the same time I also saw deep within myself and my emotional patterns that i had lived.

So I was both scared and inspired. Scared by having to place my feet on the ground again.  Being out in nature, with lots of other people enjoying food, play and bathing,  together and dancing to the rhythm of the drums.


Picture is from Rainbow gathering in Hungary 2014

The I remember dancing naked in the rain, swimming in the river and sitting near the fire, feeling connected and inn oneness. These day in Telemark where I was with all these so called alternative people. People that were also like me, tired of the trouble of greed. Pollution, wars and egoism. We would all be together and prepare food, sing, dance play and have fun.

I will not easily forget how I went through a awakening those days and it have burned quite a mark within my body how I was able to see the world in a more clear sight or vision.

At the same time I felt scared. I felt overwhelmed by the emotional pressure that I was being presented by myself honest suddenly being let lose. I felt scared and I did not connect with desteni before some months later. I was after this able to hear the desteni message. I could hear it clear as a bird through the thin air sometimes. I was so fucked up with alcohol and drugs and addictions that I was not able to direct myself to desteni for real. Not until the spring of 2012 was I able to let go of drugs and alcohol. I was able to let the down and move on with my life.

Looking back now, I think that what happened simply happened because of how I live my life, and me connecting with desteni took the time it took because of my addictions. I was not yet ready to commit before I really did.

I realize today that that the last piece of my puzzle was to join desteni and learn self forgiveness. Self forgiveness is the great key inn life. Self forgiveness is a profound tool to us on self. Speak out loud self forgiveness and let go of the energy addiction. I dear you.

Try a course from desteni. You will not regret it. Have a nice day.

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Day 473 – Relating to drugs/medications.

The other day I had a reaction on Facebook where i stated how I would like to withdraw from medications. I realize today that this is not just some simple task and the picture is more complicated that i first would think. Here goes:

I realize that I have fear and judgments with taking my medications. I judge and blame people that support me taking my medication, and I judge and blame people that promote the medication and the drug company Eli Lilly specifically. That is the company that produces my medication. I realize that my medication is supporting me , but I ignore it and suppress it with my ideas that I would do much better without my medication. I realize that it is wrong to judge my doctor and the company because they do what they are programmed into thinking and doing. They simply act and work how they are designed to do. They live their pre – programmed lives. And my doctor only does what he find best for me to do.

I will work through self forgiveness to release the energies and the judging/fear/beliefs in relation to taking my medications.


This molecule is what is injected into my butocks every 14 days.  It keeps me clear of most psychosis.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge the producers and the promoters of my medication and for judging my doctor that promotes this drug to me, and for thinking that he is making me addicted and where he recommends that I take this drug and I go into judging and fear and beliefs thinking I will end up like I was some years ago in drug addiction, out of fear from being a addict to drugs like i was before and thinking it is the same now, failing to realize that this is a totally different sort of addiction, with taking this drugs zypadhera today.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to listen to people and activists and scientist when that see that drug addiction is so dangerous and how they scare me with their numbers and their statistics where I go into reactions and I start to judge my doctor and I start to judge the pharmacy company that produces my drug simply from reading and watching videos on drug industry and medications.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself my fear/judgments/belief that the pain that I feel in my back is related to taking my drugs and how I feel the pain because I take my drugs, I start to think this back pain of mine is related to taking my drugs and I start to feel the pain and I think “oooh no there is my pain from my medication again” and “oh shit there is my pain from the drug again” sort of backchats that I would project out at A, or B and doing so removing myself from the responsibility of having the backchat.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame the doctor because of how I think he is making me into something that I do not want to be, an addict and I forget how sick I can become when I do not take my medication and how I need them for quite some time still.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to become a drug addict because I think back at how difficult my life was back then when I was a drug addict from weed, hajjis and alcohol addiction, and I would be afraid of how my life could evolve into something like that I would not like and into something that I would fear from thinking of my drug addiction drama days and life that I used to live with substance abuse.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become obsessed with withdrawal.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to become totally obsessed with quitting my drugs and with going of my medications because of other peoples stories and reading about the damages and long term effects of drugs where I go into blame and judging/fear/belief over my doctor and I go into judging and blame over the drug company and I end up with thinking “my life would be so much better without drugs” and “if I did not take drugs I could have decent work” and “I should live a drug free life”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself the fears/beliefs/judgments I have in relation to taking my drugs and the drug label zypadhera, where see how I envy people that have done withdrawal and I would like that for myself to, and I fail to realize that now is not the time for this, yet.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go intro reactions and judging myself and my doctor  and Eli Lilly  when I read about other peoples withdrawal  stories and thinking I will not be as cool as them and I will not be that cool and lucky as these people are and judging myself because I today take medications and going into judgement and reaction because I simply need some medications to help me in my everyday life and i forgive myself that i have accepted and allowed myself to feel shame from the procedure of reciving this shot in my butocks every 14 days.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into self judging over backchats like “weirdo” or “freak” because I am open with how i take medication to improve my life and my mental state.

When and as I see myself going into fear or judgments or beliefs over the drugs I take or the company Eli Lilly. I stop and I breathe. I realize that I go into this judging and blaming of my doctor and of the drug company because of how I envy people that have done withdrawal and they can live without drugs, and I would like that for myself to. I realize that I have to continue to live with my drugs for quite some time, and I realize that I will have to take my drugs for some more time and to have dialog with my doctor on taking drugs. I commit myself to have a open and supportive dialogue with my doctor where I can discuss everything with him, and I commit myself to have and establish this relationship with my doctor and to listen to his advice.

When and as I see myself ending up in the evol circle of blaming and judging doctors and companies that produce drugs to me. I stop and I breathe. I realize that I take only one drug and that drug is good for me. I realize that I am better off on this drug than without for quite some time still. I realize that I need to get over my obsession with withdrawal because it is not supporting to me at all to have this obsession. I commit myself to talk openly to my doctor and to have a supportive and honest dialogue with him. I commit myself to be honest and to listen to my body when it comes to being a former addicted. I commit myself to listen to peoples advice and to listen to people that have experienced or expertise on this sort of issues.

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Day 472 – Relationship to music – facing change.

Relationship to music – facing change.

I have changed. I used to really like and love hard metal music. Lots of it all day. This have today evolved into a greater like for classical music. I have changed much of my musical favorites. And the shift went from Carnifex, Cavalera Conspiracy and Norwegian black metal over to Bach, Chopin and Mozart. I can still imagine myself listening to metal but not in the same length or extent as before.

I realize today when I look through my musical history and my experience and I realize that I have grown into addiction to metal music during my years. I have grown into digging that hard, demonic metal music. And I think to myself that this music is suppressive and negative, failing to realize that it gives a very accurate picture on how we live on this planet today. And that it therefore is very contemporary.

I realize that my relationship to music and this sort of music started when I was 13 or 14 years old. I would be introduced to Guns and Roses and Kiss. This was the very first start of my addiction to this type of music till this day.



I remember our music teacher telling us in youth school (1991-94) what lyrics that Guns and Roses where actually singing. The teacher would read up the text from the lyrics of the record that he was holding. “She is pretty tied up, she I pretty tried up, hanging upside down”. My old music teacher would be very upset that his students would ever listen to such music at all. This reading of the musical teacher was like awakening to me, even though I went with peer pressure and thought that the teacher was a fool and Guns and Roses where cool. If anyone would find themselves hanging up a girl upside down to call her pretty, you are acting sadistic and evil and you might be facing serious consequences in your life and you are into deep shit with how you live your life. To say the least. But it is still contemporary.

This just tells us how fucked up society we are living in.

I have since those days being 12, 13,and 14 listening to guns and roses, made discoveries growing up and exploring more and more and dear I say also harder sort of music. Pantera, Mayhem, Sepultura, Slayer and others les known. I have being buying and listening to  records to get into that kind of music that is really hard core, with screaming and growling for vocals. You have little chance to hear what they are saying, and the music is hard, progressive and fast. And yes I would say it reflects society that we live in, to a very far degree.

So what is my experience with listing to metal music? Well I like to think that I get a out spring for my aggression and parts of my creativity doing it. I can for instance play air guitar on the streets if I would like to, just for kicks and show of. And I do stuff like that. I would recommend to read through this article on what common behaviors is found with people that like metal and people that like classical music.

Check it out:

Some times when I get upset or mad, I can think that metal music would help me out, and failing to realize that Carnifesx or Mayhem with probably only emphasis my difficulties and my madness.

So I go through self discovery ! I discover classical music at 35 years age! I think that is cool.

I guess the term “All in its good time” is very suiting. I mean if I am very sad or mad it is no good to putt on Slayer – nothing cool will come from that. Really ?



If you have been scrolling through the lists of metal and you can seem to find that missing piece or that final touch. I recommend for you, try classical music. I am very convinced that it will suit your soul.

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