Day 862 – Schizophrenia and mastery

schizoamad

This construct (personality platform mind construct)  is some of the core of my schizophrenic experience – walking this life with the illness of schizophrenia – using self forgiveness and the desteni I process to real-EYES myself as life.

Here is a snippet of some self forgiveness that I use to assist and ground myself :

 

I forgive myself as my beingness my innocence that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to touch into myself – on my inside – as a being, in fear of not liking what I find on my inside – fear for disliking myself – disapproving myself – where I over time grow uncertain and full of doubt and worry that again feeds me with anxiety – and then breaking down – the full emotional game – where I need to realize that I must stop this loop – to stop the wheel of the emotion & hamster/believe/energy running in my mind, the fear that is giving ground to the doubt and worry, the fear that I let govern parts of my being, fear of not being liked, and to truly forgive it as the polarity and mind energy & self judgement that it is – and to short circuit the whole design and stop it from possessing me into constant breakdown loops – within this very self forgiveness sentence – I see again – in retrospective, I see into my being and my nature and I find that I need to – here practice living words, in order to not fall into the pit of doubt and worry – but bridge myself over that pit – and by that stop the emotional loop – with the application of a living word such as enjoyment, gentleness, grace or tranquilo – to live a word and make it mean something to me and my nature.

I forgive myself as my beingness my innocence that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear certain things in my surroundings like to not be able to trust myself fully – where I fear to reawaken my schizophrenia and “fall and fail” into the pit of schizophrenic suffering and despair – like I use that to threaten myself and to not be able to fully trust myself – instead scaring myself with such scenario, always thinking I must be the “hard working ant” in the process, and failing to realize that schizophrenia is energy, polarity (personality) mind systems and I have solved the schizophrenic riddle – I know my schizophrenia and I will not allow it to grow into possessing me like it used to – because of the process I have walked with mind constructs and quantum self forgiveness, and because I have now the tools to assist myself so – instead of falling into the pit of fearing schizophrenia – I will make sure that I can stand up and understand my schizophrenia and my mind, and from that take charge and direction of the whole of me – to embrace my mind – and live words as myself, to redefine words and be in and with the words as myself, words such as stable, grounded, rooted, here, awareness, calm, easy, relax.

 

stav

I take on my own inner design – myself as a being  – and the task of self realization and self mastery – I will honor myself as life.

 

Questions about Schizophrenia   <—– see Tormod’s videos

 

Also see EQAFE about schizophrenia

 

I am here

 

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