Day 847 – Why do you walk the Desteni I Process, Tormod ?

I ask myself this question, as a reminder and motivation to myself, onto why chose to walk the Desteni I Process Pro.

Back in the early 2012 I would choose to start my Desteni I Process – because it is a way out of the hell that humanity have created on earth. It was an exit and a door – into something that would let me know about my mind, answers to the thousands if not millions of questions I had within me of – why does humans have a mind, why all this suffering, why the religion why why why….

 

From walking my Desteni I Process I have come to learn to liberate myself from my mind’s total enslavement of my/the physical. I would learn to hack into my own mind, to be able to forgive myself to then understand my mind, in outmost detail. I was and have been and am still working on forgiving and removing/deleting my schizophrenia.

 

Walking my Desteni I Process have proved to me that I can liberate myself from my own mind’s programs. I was soon to realize that by learning to forgive and understand my mind – I am at the same time taking response – ability for my total and all of creation. And within that – literally saving/changing the world from myself as starting point. Desteni I Process is like being Neo in Matrix, I am very, very serious when I say that.

Walking my Desteni I Process I have come to face all my dirty secrets and my dark sides. To forgive it all in detail,  and be able to understand the systems behind the suffering.

 

Choosing to walk with Desteni was easy – though it took me a while to decide. And every day I now see the effect and outcome of that choice.

I initially chose this path – because I saw it a as a true way out of the hell we have been in. Mind consciousness systems enslaving of my body and my universal being. I saw Desteni I Process as a way to exit and to become real – become life. Because mind consciousness system has been the opposite of life – it has been death, suffering and abuse – that is the true effect of our mind system living. The diseases of “thought” and “believe” have poisoned humanity for a very long time.

This is the last life we have on earth – as consciousness. So, learning to see this in real time – choosing to walk with Desteni I Process was simple, it was as simple as choosing life and not the death of systems as the mind consciousness system.

 

I chose Desteni I Process because I chose life, and I chose Oneness and Equality for all beings. To make this earth into a real sanctuary and heavenly place for all to live – that is the kind of potential we live by at Desteni I Process Pro – it is the ultimate ride. And I mean that with all my hearth.

 

Some self forgiveness to go :

I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself for seeing into the deeper dimensions of me and I se these flaws and errors, these system faults, and I come to realize that this is part of my schizophrenia and the disease of being me, that I was born with this mental fault and error call it schizophrenia, that made my mind disfunction a certain way, my beingness and physical and my mind relationship was skewed and out of order – even before I was born – meaning from the creation of me.

 

I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to suppress and deny my mind, being and body’s misalignments within me that lead me to experiences that are lesser than, to experiences that are sorry to be honest, and I feel disheartened by it and I feel like breaking down with it – because there is no simple way out of that sort of suffering it is simply flaws in the creation of me – from “the other side” that made me into that which I am – a  flaw.

 

Within this I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to include myself with people that might experience the same kind of flaws and illnesses, where I feel this deep down disgust and shame from being schizophrenic and all the sorry things I have done as a result of such a illness.

 

I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to think “ah to hell with it” , “ this world is not worth of saving” or to project myself into a new me – a new persona, where I again become sad and depressed from schizophrenia simply recreating itself from mind projections.

 

Within this I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself for judging my mind and what It may present to me, because deep, deep down I fear that my schizophrenia was to restart itself and get back at me – and overwrite the many years of self forgiveness and simply fuck me over again.

 

I Forgive myself as my Beingness, my Innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to have my schizophrenia get back at me.

 

I was chatting with a old friend last night, one who lives with OCD and some of what was shared was that some people are born with mental illness – it is simply in our path, it is something that we have to deal with. It is a error in our creation of self. Some people have a bit more to deal with in this life and that is something that we have to accept. That is how that is. And it felt like we where cuddling our head together lol… and like we embraced each other and motivated each other to keep standing and to keep proving that even with OCD or schizophrenia – it is possible to have a quality life and within that to make a real difference in the lives others and the millions to come – not as consciousness but as real physical, breathing,  pulsing life here.

 

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