Day 841 – it’s about time

 

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I fail at understanding a dimension or a system, simply because something is “new” and I don’t know or have not familiarized enough with the circumstances and had time to become comfortable enough within my understanding of an issue, and I forgive myself, my beingness, my innocence, for letting myself go bashing – judging into blame, anger, hopelessness, fear and anxiety from me not understanding me. Within this lies the concept of slowing down and taking time to see – me and to take time to understand me – to write out my mind to ease of – and understand that life will only support me as much as am willing to support myself, and at the moment there is time for me to work on myself while manifested consequences still play out in the matrix world – things are coming to terms – a rain/raising of awareness – until we realize slowly but surely that we are here – all – to empower our self through self-forgiveness and that there is no way around that for anyone – or anything. That is what all the prophets was talking about and its about no one else than self – who we are in thought, word and deed – the mind, being and body relationship.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to give up and to complain and moan at myself and to feed the thoughts that say “Oh, now I am so old and sick”, ”I am not of any worth” or “I should just roll over and die” – kind of thinking where I fail to see the big picture where I can say that, ok I rather give up on the giving up – instead of giving up my living. I give up the dying lol – the withdrawal and the moaning – and rather focus on living, applying  and doing – making the best of my time here and I realize that the best way to do that is not through pushing and forcing – but with grace – slowing down and to go easy with myself – to give time to me.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that there is no time, and I should be careful with how I spend my time. I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself for the feeling like time is running out, time is against me – when it is me who is running out on stress and anxiety, and it is me who is against myself it is me who is the “late so &so” and the one that is inferior to myself to life – because time is universal and invisible – time is that which I have defined as to:  tie me (down) and to belittle myself in my own thinking and my own life – because I believe “there is no time” – hello !! there is time !!  : it is me who is not present – It is me who is not giving me time – here – in understanding of me with grace, calmness, integrity and honesty.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to expect or hope for something better, for Jesus to come surfing on a cloud to save us all, for that big magic moment to turn everything around, but that is not realistic, instead I must find in myself the reason that I have to be, and to express, to be my best version of me, to strive to be better, to  be more of me, try out new things and be prepared for the worst.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to plan ahead because of this tiny voice inside of me that says : “Its not worth it”, “It’s never going to work”, or “ Just give up the sooner the better” – where all this resistance is showing itself, and I feel like – again – giving up – but rather take a breathe and get at it again – to realize that I have a almost unlimited possibility of creating me – it’s about me giving me directions and clarity. And its about time.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself for not giving myself the sufficient time for guiding, clarity and directing through writing and specificity of my living, where I take it onto myself to edit and modify my goals to fine tune what my daily goals are, my middle and my long time goals in my life.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like time is looking me out – that time is the “bad guy”, where it is me who have separated from me – and caused a wreck of myself – It is me who have abandoned me – and I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to use time to suppress myself  to suppress my hurt – the things I did not understand – or could not talk about.

I forgive myself as my beingness, my innocence, that I have accepted and allowed myself to use time as a tool to suppress.

Investigate desteni

 

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