I sold my car – learning structure
Some weeks ago I sold my car. Mostly out of practical reasons and simply of not needing it more. The process of selling it though was quite complex and rather difficult for me to experience. Let me share with you how that was.
Owning a car is a lot of responsibility. It cost quite a lot of money, and there are many things to consider, like to have winter tires and money for gas, all sorts of automated registration, insurance and so on. There is simply lots to remember when it comes to owning a car. At least here in Norway.
So when I was to sell my car, I first talked to my dad, who had recently invested in a new car for himself. Hidden here lies a deep fear within me, fear of being rejected by my dad if I should sell my car for too little money. I would fear to be rejected by dad if I should make a bad deal. So that was something for me to work through with self forgiveness and a deep rooted awareness. I simply reasoned that it would be safe to ask him on; how do I go about to sell my car ? What are the process of it ?
And there lies a clue to pick up on. Why are we not taught about such a detailed process in school ? Why ? We could save a lot of scams, conflicts and maybe also accidents by giving our children real valuable knowhow. And even more how to fix and maintain a car….Valuable information that everyone would need to know – whether they drive or not…
Anyways the selling of my car was not a simple solution to come to though I had been planning it and thinking of it for some time. I bought a add inn a online marked places and waited. There was someone contacting me, but they soon lost interest. Another guy was simply hard to communicate with, so I had to let him go.
After some 3 weeks I was contacted by a young man who was honest and real with me. He was very interested and we agreed to a sum of money and he came to see the car together with his dad. I was alone and did not have anyone with me, to mentally back me up. So when the moments came where we signed the online contract, and printed it out in my apartment, and he handed me the money, I was deep in stress and close to collapsing. Simply in deep fear of making a mistake, to feel rejected, and the responsibility with the money, the car, the deal etc…
The deal itself was a deeply stressed situation – where I kept breathing through my stress and my fear. It was painful and not a nice experience.
But things ended well and I sold it and it is now settled some time ago. What I learned from this is to be more consistent when it comes to being structured, genuine and organized in my application. If I could have invited with me a friend to be my backup and buddy during the agreement- that would have been simply a great support for me.
So I learned to sell a car simply from this experience. If I am to sell a car later in my life there might be new rules and regulation to it so I will be care full to anyways know to be more gentle with self, to analyze more, to slow down, breathe, and to be more real in myself support. I would know to be more structurally organized from the start. I would prepare better and know how to take things in a gentle and considerate manner – considerate to myself. I learn to be structured and considerate from the start, to plan things and to organize myself better.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to be rejected by my dad over fearing to make a bad deal of sales.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to deal with the system and to deal with agreements, papers and ultimately money – where I see that I fear money – with how I fear to lose my money.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that I needed more backup and support other than just a phone call to dad and that I see today that it alone was not sufficient to calm me down and make me stable.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to subtle judge myself as a sabotager of systems, and for being against the structure of a system, when I really want and need to improve it and to build on it and see people and life thrive in cooperation.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see myself as a structured human being.
When and as I see myself about to do something that I know can stress me and potentially make me unstable, I stop myself, I slow myself down and I take a breathe.
I realize that there are lots of system here for me to use and to support myself with. There are people, “do it yourself” videos and support for me on many levels and most important from myself and me slowing down and assessing the situation.
I realize that there is a lot of supportive structure out there and I can pick it up and build on it to create more stability and structure.
I commit myself to in situations involving money or documents, or similar, that can be particular stressful where I should be aware of it, support myself however I need, structure it, make plans in my mind and direct my imagination and use my mind/projection to design and create the best possible outcome, as I plan it in my simulator : my mind.
I commit myself to build on what support that is already here and to use the system for what is best for all.
I hereby embrace the word structure !
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