A relationship between me and my voices
drawing by: Tormod Hvidsten Gjedrem
This is very clinical about my voices*
I realize that I have been living a pattern. A particular pattern concerning my thoughts/backchats/voices. Many times I have experienced voices and “loud” thoughts. Sometimes I experience these as very scary messages. They come from within myself and is a direct result of my schizophrenia/programming. They are my responsibility to handle, heal and/or live with.
It can be tough sometimes. Here; it is my relationship to the word “tough” that I need to look at, to not fuel the mind and the voices further. I hope you get the picture. Feel free to contact me if you don’t.
A peculiar thing is that have characterized my voices like saying that this particular voice is “scary”, or it is “bad” or “evil”. I would give energies/characterization and fuel/power to the voices/thoughts, by sorting them out to myself. I would give this voice the characterization of horror or hell, wicked, spiteful or evil …. and so on.
What I have not seen and realized before now is that, by characterizing and giving the voices energy/verdict, I give them fuel. I grant them access in my mind and in my head through energies. Voices in my head – granted to be there – acting out because I gave them the specific energy to burn with, like fuel on a engine. Running crazy in my head with voices – because I give the voices a certain energy, by characterizing it.
This buck stops right here !
I will stop feeding my voices/thoughts with energies. I don’t need to characterize my voices, rather deal with them in self honesty, self responsibility and what is best for all. I will expose my schizophrenia and share what I find. I will support myself through this process as best I can.
self forgiveness on the point :
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give voices and thoughts in my head and in my mind certain energies and characterizations, like a value or fuel for the thought/voice to be and function in my head, of how I experience it out of my pre programming, and then giving it a purpose with how I place value on it.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not realize why I have voices in my head, I had forgiven them, failing to see and realize that I judged and characterized the voice that was in my head and by that fueling it more.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to need to characterize my voices out of how I am programmed to value, judge and criticize everything around me.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to appreciate me here, and Instead give into energies and voices in my head/mind.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be-lie-ve that I have to attach value to my voices and to characterize them, from old habit, when this only fuels them with more power.
I commit myself to not give judging or characterization to my voices, as it will only fuel more voices in my head.
I commit myself to appreciate me here as life and to not “feed” my thoughts/voices with energies.
my video on this point:
Thanks for reading !
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