Day 751 – learning to let it be

Conflict  – learn to let it be

conflict

 

 

 

I just experienced  a deep rooted conflict with another villager here where I live. This person is often acting out in possessions (psychosis) over small thing and has a hard time with facing new things and new routines. There was just now a big commotion in the kitchen, where I was pushing her buttons and trying to force through what was common sense, but what was not cool, with this other villager.

She went into possession and I went numb, scared and confused. But I kept of pushing  for common sense while I should have just let it be, and found something else to do. This is a returning pattern with me how I keep pushing common sense/my solutions on to XX – who does not like new things.

I am reminded by how I acted with my younger sisters (20 – 30 years ago) where I would  bully them and tease then until they reacted, and then I would give them a beating.  It makes me cry how hard I seam, and how I simply can’t find it within me to let things be.

My solutions are obviously too much for this person to handle so I should just let it be. But I don’t like to isolate her or me from anything, so it is a delicate task. I get so dragged into her energies/psychosis  that I lose control of myself within it.

The funny thing is that it escalated from nothing at all, all of a sudden there is a volcano in the kitchen. And I can’t help myself by being dragged into it and reacting with it.

If I can learn and practice to let things be and not bother with more to the fire, then I am taking a step to stabilize my world and my living, it all has an effect. It is a start to me to learn and evolve within a more peaceful living.

 

 

Self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to push the buttons of XX so that she would burst into a full possession.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to being dragged into the energies/psychosis/personalities of XX and how I could not avoid trying to push common sense  and my solution onto XX.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my way is the right way when that is obviously is not so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel suspicious and uncertain about XX, fearing that one day she will snap, and stab me with a knife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel totally handicapped and lost when It comes to dealing with XX.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel superior to XX.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel powerless to XX.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to lose myself in backchats about XX.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear what XX could do to me if I was unaware.

 

I commit to bring all this back to myself and within so face my own creation.

I commit myself to more let XX be and not bother her at all.

 

 

Thank you for reading my blog !

links:

http://desteni.org/

http://desteniiprocess.com/

http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/

https://eqafe.com/

https://warnomore.wordpress.com/

https://theendofpsychiatry.wordpress.com/

 

 

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