I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the experience of apathy as I face my mind and refusing to let go of the conscious structure within me and the just doze off into imagination and depression/ apathy and to drift into inferiority and judgment from having lived this role of apathy for so many lives.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to remind myself that I can active solve this by focusing my awareness on something else, like massaging my hands and focusing on my insides and my breathe, and not drift into apathy/depression but forgive the experience and ground myself in self physical awareness, and rather treat myself good.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the downside of my past and my judgment and my imaginations where I end up like a looser no matter how I turn it and I am my own clown simply surfing into suffering / apathy and forgetting to be here/express and live.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to have favored apathy and depressed living thinking “This is me”, “I deserve this”.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to like the role I play within – apathy since it is lesser painful than the schizophrenic experience I used to have.
I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to value apathy.
When and as I see myself drift into a moment/second of apathy and depression thinking everything is wrong etc… I stop myself I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that going into apathy will not help anyone at all, and it will only make life harder for my further on. I realize that at the same time I give these emotional energies to mind, and slave to mind through energies.
I commit myself to drive my attention away from apathy and depression, and rather massage my hands, sing a song or do something good to myself, make a cup of tea, focus on my breathing and a living word.
I commit myself to stop apathy/ depression from taking control of me. I commit myself to drive my attention over at something else and to not be a mind salve.
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