Day 710 : Day 17 : Resisting my commitment of 21 days trial

commitment

 

Day 17 of 21 days of walking with self forgiveness

I will take on the challenge from my brother : Gian Robberts on walking a 21 day trial of (only/daily) self forgiveness on points. I will walk these points of self forgiveness for self/world change during 21 days.

 

Here is Gain’s Blog :

http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.no

21 days of self forgiveness on key points.

The points will be that kind of relevant points as of this world and our living.

Money, sex, politics, work, religion, mind  and so on.

 

Day 17:  Resisting my commitment of 21 day trial

 

Please read loud for best effect

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist and feel like not to pulling through with my commitment of walking 21 days of self forgiveness, and within this I see and realize that it is my idea and backchats in my head where I tell myself I am not doing enough, not good enough not smart enough, not enough effort etc, that is pulling me down into apathy and depression.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to take on apathy and depression as a form of being me and to think “oh well”,  “it is how I am created with schizophrenia”, and to simply accept that state of mind, instead of forgiving , changing within a moment and to life a different word to myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to deny facing resistance within my commitment as I would think of resistance as a point of weakness.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like my; self – forgiveness statements are not juicy of cool enough to make a impression on others.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am not giving myself time enough to write them long and “juicy” self forgiveness statements.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to dive into writing long self forgiveness in fear of what I might find within myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to resist my commitment to walk 21 days with self forgiveness, and to think “It is taking too long”,  “it is boring to push through” and “I don’t feel like it” when I have now only 4 days left of walking with so and I will have made the commitment and completed the challenge.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I at this point in my process have to push myself more and that I should feel my “compound interests” – like change is often hurtful thinking I should feel pain within from having change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear pain and within that to fear change.

 

Thanks

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