Day 708 : Day 15 : Fucked up !!

Day 15 of 21 days of walking with self forgiveness

I will take on the challenge from my brother : Gian Robberts on walking a 21 day trial of (only/daily) self forgiveness on points. I will walk these points of self forgiveness for self/world change during 21 days.

 

Here is Gain’s Blog :

http://gianjourneytolife.blogspot.no

21 days of self forgiveness on key points.

The points will be that kind of relevant points as of this world and our living.

Money, sex, politics, work, religion, mind  and so on

 

change.jpg

 

Day 15: Fucked up !!

 

Schizophrenia is essentially when personalities of your mind / consciousness starts embodying itself into behaviour all at the same time, so you have for example 2 / 3 different personalities trying to ‘live themselves out’ in the body at the same time causing much inner conflict. Whereas with most people in this world, the personality systems of their mind / consciousness are more ‘controlled’ in the sense that one personality at a time will activate that they will then embody and then live out dependent on where they are / with who they are – Sunette Spies

 

 

Please read loud for best effect

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into a  level of stress and panic, where voices was triggered within me that made me go into a moment of voices possession within my mind and my head this morning.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the voices in my head saying this “xxxxxx” and that “xxxxx” and for taking it personal what they were saying and to become depressed and sad from having these voices and to let these thoughts/voices mess with my head the way they did and for feeling bad emotional after, instead of investigating it and checking out what I could learn from the event.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my medication/drugs for the episode, after the voices/possession and for blaming Mr. XX and for judging the world around me as bad and wrong thinking I don’t deserve this.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I have lost something within this episode because of how I go into depression and sadness/emotions for having this voice and for  feeling  like I lost something which was myself (!) within going into emotions after the experience of the episode/voices.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to experience those type of voices/demons/trauma within my head that was constructed just like a thought but that was only much more loud and much more intense and out of my control.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like “yes, this is like having schizophrenia”,  “it is just my life” , etc failing to see how I could learn from it.

 

I learn now to have that basic “calm, comfortable and stabile” – basis within myself and to avoid going into psychosis/voices from knowing myself  and my physical limits. I also very important, learn from this to not take these things personally (!!) Because if I take it personal I lose myself within  it, and that losing is like fear/emotional  that becomes me and fear/emotion is not an option. Fear is a illusion – and  a bad state of mind.

I repeat to myself: to investigate these things in self honesty, to learn from it and to NOT take it personal when it happens – and to forgive it and learn how to change from it. I also see now how I had that (brief) option of change from words/direction. I could have changed my living word and avoided going into loss (of myself ) and fear of such.

“Voices in the head” are like x-tra loud/intense thoughts:

What are voices in the head : VIDEO

 

Thanks

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