Day 684 -Suicide is not a solution to the problems

girl face

 

I have been going into corrupting myself , the last days/weeks, with thoughts,  that suicide could help me and get over my problems. I think my life is too tough to live so I think of suicide. I look at death as a solution to my problems.  It is like I think that my pain and my bothers would then disappear if I would die. That is not so. I know now from having investigated, and having support from other destonians,  that if I die I take with me all my bothers and all my troubles from this here life to the afterlife, only multiple in matter.

So that relief is not there. When I think that death is a solution and I picture myself as dead, everything is sad and depressive. I picture myself as  dead and everything becomes black and sad. So death is not a relief of oneness problems. Hell no.

Please check out this important video about suicide :

Self forgiveness:

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to blame my parents for the fact that I am schizophrenic and within that thinking about suicide as a sort of revenge to end my life to get back at them.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my problems and issues would simply disappear, with ending my life, when it proves that is not so.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge my parents experience of mind  and how that experience created schizophrenia within me.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that my trouble and issues with  schizophrenia would disappear if I should die.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I can escape from  myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think there exists a quick fix within suicide.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I need a quick fix.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like I miss and long for people that I knew that have died and that I could reunite with them in the afterlife.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to go back into old addiction patterns of sex addictions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to start to do drugs or to drink again.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear to end up giving into energy addictions.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to be jealous at other people that I imagine has a better life and they look so special and cool etc.. when they live in the same world as me, they shit like me and they live within this world of atrocities; like me, telling me that we are all in this together.

 

When and as I see myself ending up thinking death is a solution or that I will be saved with death etc… I stop myself I slow myself down and I breathe. I realize that if I should die I take with me all my bothers still to the afterlife. I realize that I must sort out my shit here where I am at in this life. I realize that I miss lot of people that have died but dying myself will not be a party or a relief as I take with me all my bothers to the afterlife. I realize that death is not a solution as I see that I take with me my issues and bothers.

 

I commit myself to live and to honor life

I commit myself to be of assistance

I commit myself to breathe

I commit myself to be with my physical

I commit myself to self honesty

I commit myself to self forgiveness

 

b r e a t h e  – check out desteni.org

 

here is another blog on the topic :

http://creationsjourneytolife.blogspot.com/2013/06/day-412-suicide-is-never-act-of-self.html

 

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2 thoughts on “Day 684 -Suicide is not a solution to the problems”

    1. Hi Ruben !
      I am glad i could be of assistance.
      We must be here for each other, suicide will only increase ones problems.

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