Day 640 – Character of judging myself for not having a girlfriend

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into the polarity of my character where I negatively judge myself and blame myself for not having a partner, and where I go into positive polarity with self – pity, thinking I need to buy things and sweets to give myself since I do not have a girl friend simply ending up within a bigger load of misery.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to judge and blame myself because I do not have a girlfriend and within this to start thinking I am a looser and that there is something very wrong with me since I am not in a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I am of lesser worth of love or any typical feeling and within this I would judge myself and blame myself since I am not in a relationship.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to justify myself going into feeling depressed or feeling lonely and thinking lesser and inferior about myself and within this thinking I am entitled to feel lonely and sad.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to hide within my secret mind how I long for a girlfriend, pitying myself, instead of going active out there trying to find her.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to compare myself to people my age that are married and have settled relationships and that are parents and so on, where I would judge myself from being different failing to see the gift of myself as being, with my personal history and experience as being me – I am the expert of me, where I realize that I could learn more about myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I do not really want a girl friend, and I would NOT like to be in a relationship, it is just the fact that I don’t have a girlfriend that makes me think I am inn separation of that I am different from others, and since that I differ, I am a looser.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think to myself I don’t know if I would like to have a girl friend or not, the question itself, of being with a partner, is driving me crazy.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think I would need to sort of my shit out in relation to if I would like to walk a relationship with a girl – or not.

 

When and as I see myself going into depression or inferiority over not having a girl friend. I stop myself, I slow myself down, and I breathe. I realize that being in a relationship is about giving and receiving, and to be sure about who I should start a relationship with is who I can give something to. I realize that If I really want a partner to walk with, I should go out there to fine her and  I realize that I would like to talk to a girl about potentially walking a relationship together. I realize that I would like to communicate and talk with a girl about potentially starting up a relationship on terms that supports us both equally. I commit myself to talk to girls that I find interesting and that I think could be potential partners. I commit myself to take initiative to find that girl for me to first talk and perhaps later; walk with.

 

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