Day 635 – Self judgement was my struggle

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think it has no effect to say to myself “I will not judge myself” because of what happened when I was 6 years old playing nude games with neighbors and within this I forgive myself for taking it so hard a impact for being caught by a adult and with this I tell myself to stop judging myself for that episode,  I was a child and it was all programs and energies.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself for judging myself for everything that is ever bad within my life and for taking everything very personal and blaming myself always pointing back at that one point of being caught by that adult when I was 6 years old.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to project guilt and fear and self judgement onto others, ending up inferior and depressed, when I see how emotional dimensions within me shape according to that one memory of being caught by a adult at that time.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to see my fight through growing up have been guilt and self judging for all so many years.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I would seek church, alcohol, drugs, psychiatry and so on, trying to cure myself from this guilt and judgment that I have to face, I was doing to myself.

When and as I see myself feeling like going into guilt or self judging, I stop and I slow myself down, and I breathe. I realize that this fight was that nobody would win and like any war there was only losers participating. I realize that I can through focusing, directing, breathing and slowing down, I can end my self-judging. I can end the war and find peace with myself. I realize that self judgment only has losers and that one is me. I commit myself to slow down my tempo, and to focus on what is supportive, like living words, breathing and directing myself, slowing down, and to finally be done with the fight and have peace. I commit myself to give myself access to life and to live my life in every breathe. I commit myself to live my life for what is best for all and inn that is also, best for me.

 

 

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