I mapped out my childhood. I have been working with self forgiveness for 4 years now and I have mapped out my entire childhood and larger parts of my past. Things I had forgotten and suppressed, hidden, that I have all forgiven in detail. I reached a new transcendence and a point of change within my living. My whole childhood is now mapped out to me. I have a overview, a perspective on my life. The details are many, traumatic and quite complicated. This is simply a overview. Through self forgiveness and corrections, I have now worked through all the energies and complications within this past. It is quite a relief to have reached this point of clarity. My emotional life goes something like this:
Child nude play with second cousins – being caught by grandmother at age 5- 6
Finding porn magazines near road, keeping as treasures age 7 – 16
Being bullied at school by older students / later bullying others all through school age 7- 16
Nightmares / psychosis fever fantasy at home age 9 – 16
Demonic thoughts/gruesome thoughts/possession age 10 – 12
Suicidal thoughts age 13
Actively sabotaging school / society doing crime age 14 – 20
Psychiatry and drugs, alcohol, sex, porn and drama age 20 – 33
Starting to work on self forgiveness in 2012 (33 – present)
Don’t get me wrong… there was also happy moments in my life. Lots of them. But these are the list of things that made a real difference within me.
What can we learn from this ?
Well… one thing I would like to point out is to ask “what happened to you”, instead of “what is wrong with you”. I was born schizophrenic. This is my childhood mapped out pretty much. This is from 4 years of working on self, everyday on forgiving myself.
What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative – as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.
– June Roca
Have the nice day.