Day 621– 21 days trial of ending blabbering – Day 3

Day 3 of not talking nonsense / not needed to be talked, words. Everything we do has a consequence. Everything we say contribute to shaping us/the world.

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I have been going into anger points recently over not talking calmly to myself like telling myself like “so so”, ” it will be ok”, lulling myself into a idea that things will be ok later on and there is hope etc.

I have been ending the comfy almost lies of better days and tomorrows when tomorrows may still be another day with pain and suffering, inn many ways to many people.

I have been going straight into anger reactions over this lack of cozy lulling in of calming myself with words. And do you know something… words are sacred. Not holly but: sacret, and innocent. So the anger points that I have been facing have been severe and brutal and honest like to be mad at religions in this world etc, how I realize religion is simple lies and corruption of psychology, how we allow authorities like police to bully us etc… anger! And I see that I must direct it all back to myself, and my own responsibility. I must be able to forgive my anger and let go of reactions and end the friction.

The last days I have ended, I have stopped talking calmly and gentle to myself like supporting myself or creating this layer of “lies” or “hope” within me, telling myself that there will be better times. When it is still a tough next day, and the abuse goes on 24/7 – this is part of my contribution to world/self change.

I remain steady on my course to not talk gibberish or nonsense/lies to myself for 21 days. I will only speak when I need to.

Like now.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fear that I am too hard on myself on what words I should allow myself and what not, realizing in that moment that I am awakening pain points on my body that I can work with, within this I realize that I must let self honesty be the ruler of what I say and what I don’t say, and remain within this self honesty and the directive it holds, and stand my ground of self honesty and correct myself.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into anger over how my mind is proving, shaping and expanding, in front of me trying to make me impressed with its acrobatics and mind fuckings, and I realize that my mind does this as a result of me realizing how self manipulating I have been talking blabbering to myself for ages.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see within my mind and myself that I faced resistance and points of conflict and anger not being dealt with as my mind/myself reacting to the changes due to my 21 day trial.

investigate : http://desteni.org/

have a nice day

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