Day 565 – Loss

I have experienced some loss. The loss of our family dog when I was about 16. It was a dear old dog, that gave pups tow times. Bobsey, she was called. She died as a old dog of cancer as I remember it. I found her, stiff, under the veranda. I learned something from here. I learned to trust. I later forgot it but brought it back to myself today. To trust other beings. It is one of the greatest gifts one can have. To cooperate and to trust. Today there is no trust in this world that we live, and very limited cooperation. Trust is almost completely not existing. Bobsey thought me, today that I should trust in others as I remember her unconditional supporting me and being our family dog, wanting to show care and affection.


I lost my brother 12.10.2007 – from suicide. My foster brother. He died sadly, in a care home, from taking too many pills, when he was 29. My brother came from a troubled past and he struggled with addictions to alcohol and drugs most of his adult life. He was always in anxiety and in pain. What is it I have learned from my brother? My foster brother thought me to not underestimate life. To have positive view on things. Positive realism. Positive psychology. My brother thought me that there is a new day tomorrow. My brother thought me that I can change. To look for solutions, and to not be blinded by hope.

I lost my girl friend 24.01.2010. We met in the mental hospital. We separated also in the mental hospital. She also took to many pills and died from suicide. She came from a home of abuse and suffered from trauma /true me. All her life. She thought me to forgive. She told me this, that he forgave the person that violated here as a child. She forgave that person, but the traumas did not simply leave. So she crossed over, died, and lives no more. Left am I & others with the teaching that I must learn to forgive. It was after her dying that I realized that; within psychiatry I am doomed to fail and it is not doing any good at all. I realized that I had to get out of psychiatry.  It was after she died I found I was introduced to the portal and to the community. And here I am 5 years later. Almost 3 year into my process and really, really working on myself. Forgiving myself. Walking, breathing on my journey to life. So I have had some loss, and I have learned, and gained something from crossing my life path with the lines of Bobsey, my brother and my old girl friend. Our paths crossed and we shared some hours/days together.


It is important to be allowed to have grief. And to let it out. But also it is very very important to express and write down oneness experiences to learn from it. To embrace it, and to forgive it.

What loss have you had, and what have it done to you ? Losing someone, and then holding on to energies/memories after, is all related back to self and our total experience and our living. It can affect you still.  Learn to take responsibility for the experiences that life offers you. Learn self with the tools of desteni. Learn self – forgiveness. It is the best tool.

Desteni Stands for Oneness & Equality

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Have a nice day !


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