Day 563 – The character of characters / self creator / self responsibility

I have been living characters for approximately 30 years. Characters that are a part of a pre program and a specific design. A opinion – given. A character from a given a opinion and then later it gives me a my direction in life. A directive from a point of egoism and polarity. Characters that are designed and programmed to react and act in a certain code and emotional ways and directions. Characters that create a another character and so on and making me seem like a God. Creating myself. But it is only characters. Totally fake.

What is Self-forgiveness?
It is the process by which an individual forgives oneself for accepting and allowing self to separate from objective reality, releasing positive and negative value judgments such as good or bad, right or wrong, positive or negative – as subjective interpretations of reality regarding something or someone that leads to stability as breath.

– June Roca

http://desteni.org/

 

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that to dissolve and delete my characters I will become free and I will release the specific energies that are related to the characters and I would become free, where I realize that I have to live the actual change day by day, breathe by breathe to actually change the creator of characters and design that have been simply running in a loop, copy machine copying personalities and lives over and over and over again like with the sins of the fathers cloning and copying new humans to earth over and over again – every day.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to not take into full consideration the consequences of living my past programmed design of crating new characters over and over again designing them out ready to use from polarity question, and from self creation that I would expect for myself to suit into later on like I was a chameleon and slipping in and out of characters like a thief in the night, not taking responsibility and being a villain changing my characters.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to give into my programmed design of living a specific character when I am to talk to my mom or my dad or other people that are close to me, that I would expect of myself to have certain code or a certain specific attitude towards that is simply a character or the beginning of a character that I would have to learn to direct myself – form this character and to learn to direct myself from this program into real life breath by breath living in honesty and not by programmed emotional design.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to spin around and around into possession over not being able to get out of character, failing to direct, because I would fear to express and live on the other side/honesty and I would spin around and around into loops of possession and creating voices in my head and illness within so without, and not finding the real me, hidden in plain sight. It is me, I am breathe, I life.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to fail to see that I musts be responsible with my creation meaning my day to day living, that I would have to step out of character and direct myself from falling back into character and I would have to take a responsibility within a breathe to breathe awareness every day and every time I am tempted to suit into the old characters and to suit into the old program that I would make me irresponsible and fall for characters and pre – program over and over again like the infinite conscious construct of mind.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I had a lost childhood and thinking that my past have been worse than other peoples growing up, and projecting blame on my parents where I fail to realize that it is myself and my lack of “capre diem” that I fail to realize and live.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into arguments with my parents about being God and being, a humane and bring children up with teachings of Jesus an God that is simply brainwashing and the same programming that I had when I was a child that I see clear patterns with the children that I am related to that hurts me to see, and I go into anger over this teaching and I feel left out and like a outcast.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to feel like a outcast from my family because I have changed or am deleting my characters from the past and I am changing myself to something new that is not a character but real life, and real with the breathe.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself how I must see my family from a sort of observer point of view where I see them and I love them & care for them, it is just that I am through living the old lies of copying my parents and my ancestors same mistakes from before over and over again – I want to live and change.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to argue with my parents on “God” and the existence of so, where I fail to see that what I by talking about “God” – making it real, and I should not argue with people on “God” and I should not confront people on religions, I should follow the golden rule, and rather avoid those questions on religions, to avoid friction/conflict.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to go into reaction when I am confronted with a character that I see simply as this “character” and I would become fearful from seeing peoples characters, and I would fear to go into stress and reactions out of fear of fear itself, and to fear to go into stress, and I would project blame on these people that I meet failing to live and direct the situation and to be that change that I am as breathe and to live that which is “hidden in plain sight” – the “I life”.

I forgive myself that I have accepted and allowed myself to think that I have to live like man and to be the man and to be like “Rough and tough” that is simply bullshit and brainwashing ego, where I fail to realize that “hey” – I can change these parts of me into living like a woman instead and to live those qualities of a woman instead of being a man and to drag the disadvantages of being the ego of man – and to life in equality with the benefits of being a woman instead, within breath to breath awareness – here as life : I life.

When and as I see myself heading into creating a character or in any way going over opinion to create a character that I know will simply serve polarity or to create new characters I stop and I slow myself down, and I breathe. I realize that a character will simply create new characters and it will only create new “mees” and it will simply serve the polarity construct and design that is simply a waste of time and energies where I realize is not doing any good at all. I realize that if we are going to have change I have to live the solution on a day to day experience and mannerism. I realize that if we are going to save this world we will have to change it piece by piece, and that no finance crisis or revolution will do it, we have to do it our self step by step, breath by breathe.

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