It strikes me to know what peer working and peer stories, stories of abuse and addiction from a perspective of looking back on oneness life, are quite interesting to people. That people find it fascinating how people have stories, different from them. Like drama to tell, what brought them here. It is in general interesting to people to find out what is the reason why people have gotten where they are. Diving into other peoples realities is fun! And one can learn from it. We generally like to know about other people’s lives and stories. – So here is mine and how I was able to straighten up my life from scratch.
I was, back in 2002 and 2003 starting to live more and more in addiction to drugs and alcohol. I was consuming lot of alcohol and lots of my money went to buying drugs. I was partying hard, dancing and having sex with allots of different girls. I was , you could say, in general acting very irresponsible. Later in 2004 and 2005 I started to paint. My mother that was watching over me and my addictions. And she was trying to get my mind over at something else. Something else would bye to me painting equipments, like paint and canvases. I would start to paint juts like Jackson Pollock did. I would paint in the hospital where I was committed because of my drug addiction and substance abuse, that was driving me crazy. Insane. So I was hospitalize very, very often. I would paint inn, Jackson Pollock style. “Splat, splat” – throwing paint on canvases. I specifically remember that I would paint inn my showers/bathroom, in psychiatric hospital, a bloody mess with colors all over the shower rom. If you have seen what Jackson Pollack, did you can probably picture it.
I would be addicted to weed and hajjis for almost 10 long years. It never evolved into anything more than that like speed, or amphetamine or LSD or heroin. I did not get hooked on that luckily. I would use and also abuse my opportunities that I was given. Opportunities of having a painters atelier, a gift from the city council to me and others. And a professional are studio to paint. I made lots of money, sometimes, on my paintings. And most of it went to drugs and alcohol usage and abuse. I later realized that I would need to break this pattern. Sooner or later or I would not make it. I was involving myself in addiction drama and environments and in a society with very, very addicted people and you can say sick people. I was moving on a knives edge, as one could say. I did not understand this until later that this ability of free will or law of attraction, or law of oneness. My gifts to be solution oriented, my opportunity with being born in rich Norway. Achieving oneness goals, have been strong with me. But as long as my goals where drugs and alcohol, that is a dead end. And I could not expand and evolves as human. Because of addictions. Far less break any sort of cycle to improve my life at all or the lives of anyone else, at all.
In 2009 and until the spring of 2012 , I would understand more and more of what it would mean to be drug addict. I was in more and more clashed with police. Facing the hard reality that I had tried to escape through drugs and alcohol. And my abuse was making life hell for other people. I would push myself very, very, very far down the addiction line to get the dope and the alcohol that I wanted. I went quite far to have this. And my addiction had me in tight grip. I realize that I fear this grip today and I should work to avoid falling into it again. I should work to show other how to get out from that grip. Of addiction. I made a lot of bad choices back then, like selling my cool apartment and quitting my school, and escaping and running away from responsibilities constantly. I was not easy to provide help to. I would become fearsome and have anger and I would be very, very upset and try to run away when psychiatry got a hold of me again. So, when I lost my driver’s license for one year and I would find myself in the basement of my parents care again. Then I would start to realize what a mess I had made of my life. Luckily I was able to start a process of self forgiveness through desteni.org. And today I have been drug free for 2,5 years.
May 2012 I quit dope and alcohol. And my process really kicked off for real with desteni. I was able to learn self, and mind. To realize self. I was taking responsibility. I was and, I am, learning what it is to do what is best for all. I was learning and I am still learning the mind. My life have changed totally. I have been working, I have a car. I now have my own apartment, and I have stability and focus within my life. I am working steady and steadfast to reach my goals in my life and I am making my life into what is best for all. Baby steps. I am responsible again. Everything I do is to be supportive. Yes that is my own effort and my own work that is paying off. I am acting responsible with myself again and that is one of the great keys in life: to become responsible with oneneself. With myself. To forgive my past and to realize that live without addictions is a far, far better living. I have moved from addiction to nicotine, alcohol, occasional sex, porn and hajjis and weed. Running away from my responsibilities and getting hooked on energy rushes. I have been able to understand their energies and to free myself from slaving to the energies. I now live a better life. I work out, I still paint. I am engaging with psychiatry rights and I am blogging and vloging, coking and doing stuff that is supportive.
I have a life. Thanks to my own effort and myself pushing through with the tools provides by desteni. Join us and lets walk together for what is best for all in oneness and equality.
The coolest store in the universe: https://eqafe.com/ Desteni: http://desteni.org/ Walk the talk/indentify and work with your illness: : http://desteniiprocess.com/ Lite course : http://lite.desteniiprocess.com/ Delete poverty: http://livingincome.me/ More on my process: http://forum.desteni.org/viewtopic.php?f=8&t=2567 About desteni: http://wiki.destonians.com/Main_Page Thank you!